All Comments on 'Raven and Sky Ch. 01'
by tobiekain105
- 15 Comments
Anonymousabout 8 years ago> I am 6'2" around 240 lbs. Okay, I am not in the best of shape, I could loose a few pounds.
Fuck that shit, that guy is almost in the “severe obesity” range! I am the same height and I weigh 150 lbs, for fuck’s sake…
To be completely honest, this makes the whole thing a bit disgusting…
Anonymousabout 8 years agoHey anon, if you are 6 foot 2 inches tall and weigh 150 or so pound you must be build like a wet rag, I'm 6 foot 2, do weigh close to 240 pound and I'm not obese in the slightest, you seriously need someone to make you a sandwich.
Ps, nice story.
Anonymousalmost 8 years agofantasy story by a virgin. No offense, maybe a little, but the sex was bad and awkward, like it was ripped off from a generic threesome story and the writer didn't know what and how to write. Neckbeard fantasy alright.
sviedabout 7 years agoThis story has an inkling of potential. I dislike how he seems to actually be a dick, having pushed his advantage even if he didn't believe it. Not all characters can be moral pillars right? So I guess I'll see where this goes.
Has a lot of grammar and wrong word mistakes but hopefully that improves. Highly advise an editor if he hasn't gotten one yet.
baileytommyalmost 6 years agowhen a story starts off lame there is so much a person can read much you had a nuff. don't get me wrong you have a great imagination and that's what you got to have to write a good fantasy,it starts off like a cheap porn story I mean his never been with a girl you made me hate the guy he didn't seem real he just meets them and hey he already knows how to be a stud you need to make your characters likably which you don't. and belivable which you very very much don't I can't read the rest I'll try your next story just keep writing don't ever stop you got what it takes
Anonymousabout 5 years agoGood chapter 1 . . . will continue to read. He reminds me of me. Hope the elves live happy thereafter.
