All Comments on 'Raw Ch. 12'

Kink is what people make of it for themselves. The tent is large. This has been a wonderful story of a couple finding what is right for them. Thank you for a great ride with characters I would enjoy knowing irl.

This was a great story. At first I rolled my eyes a little with Malcom's accident but it definitely helped tie loose ends with drake. So kudos:) you should write more stories!

Wtg on a great story and a great ending. I want more maybe drake and daphne or give sue a story or ginger?? Please I want more lol

Thank you, SSW, for the 'heads up' on the imminent publication of Chapter 12. What an ending! I felt my mouth fall open when Malcolm struck Becca - I didn't see that coming or thought he ever would! So glad that Becca was able to deal with Jesse et al - and with such dignity and restraint! While I feel as if I've said 'Goodbye' to friends, (though I shall return to 'visit' them again) I look forward to reading much more of your work. Thank you for this story. Wish I could give more than 5*.

Jules

If you decide to touch up or publish this masterpiece please address the slap. She states that she deserved it, she pushed while he warned...bull sh1t to that. With her kidnapping and torture, PTSD, and countless hours of therapy, she should have weighted and considered more reasoning fur the action and how she would have dealt with it...or just the opposite would have happen where that slap could have had her lose it, falling in to a deep dark hole, empty, without any safe connection. Possibly disconnecting any healthy relationship with a make in the future. Then when he awakens and they discuss all the events but the slap. For a loving couple, that is so truthful in communication, domestic violence is an unacceptable action. I feel like you worked so hard to fill in all the blanks and just saying forgiven on the matter of DV seems short.

To the anonymous reader who posted about the undealt-with slap, I hear you. You are correct that I let that slip by when dealing with the multitude of issues I needed to wrap up in this final chapter. Thank you for pointing it out. The scene has been revised and the chapter resubmitted.

Thank you all for the feedback and votes so far. I only hope I can meet your expectations and keep your readership on new journeys with new characters.

SSW

I feel like one more chapter to tie up loose ends with drake would be good

One of my most favorite stories. I will say the slap seemed a misstep. Re Drake, sometimes the happiest available ending is cutting ties with a person. With a bit of spit polish, this would do well for sale. So much better than much of the rubish out there.

The slap was removed in early November. I have verified that the version online is slap-less.

SSW

good story and thankyou, 50 shads have caused issues with the perception of some BDSM relations....few people understand the tremendous responsibility when a person "gives" themselves to you as a slave.....the responsibility is a bit overwhelming and most people/writers miss that...they can only see the dark parts...working with some one to be their best is never discussed, I also liked that you called "BS" to punishing some one for stupid and minor infractions

You evil piece of shit. I spent my entire Saturday reading your wonderfully written story. Please continue writing, and soon. Your writing style is so amazing. You should take a page out of your character's book and turn this into an actual published piece of work. Meanwhile I'm here just staring at my laptop wishing the series wasn't over...

It's a good story and all, but I got really swept up in the happiness of it till chapter 5. I guess the sad parts really winded me.

Could you do an epilogue or standalone about Drake and Daphne? I wanna know if she Is actually happy or feeling trapped? May be also a sibling reconciliation?

Loved the entire story! The only complaint I have is Drake's major personality shift. I hated it, he was a totally different person and it didn't make any sense to me.

Very very good story.I am sad its over and have no clue what too read next. Its very hard to find this typeof story on tis websie for some reaso. Best wishes and merry christmas too you.

Thank you so much for sharing such a LOVELY, beautiful story . I was completely and totally hooked to it . thankyou again

Loved the characters and the story. Sad to see it end.

Would love to read about their adjustment on the East coast and to see if there is even more to Drake and Daphne.

into this story and couldn't stop reading till chapter 12! Such a wonderful writing style, real literature here on literotica. A fine feeling how D/s could work happily for both - with love and devotion. Bravo !

So many stories on a site like this are poorly written porn. You join the ranks of those that successfully merge fiction, eroticism and real life to paint a bright picture, A bright picture of acceptance, human failure, growing maturity, and life.

You might not be capable of doing it: but I would like to see a sequel when the main players are now in their 50's or 60's. When they have had a chance to grow and for the events of life to grind on them a bit. As you have written the characters they are about as "normal" people as can be imagined. Seeing how life affects them and how they affect life would be wonderful.

This story has been one of my absolute favorites to read on the site. I have to piggy back off of another users comment and express an interest in the East Coast transition for Malcolm/Becca. However, I am more interested in the hinting at a trilogy in the story. Perhaps Malcolm/Becca were only the first story in our own version of 'Triple Tease'. There could be (and I desperately hope there is) a second story about Drake/Daphne and a third regarding the Bonnie & Clyde that is Jesse/Juliet. Three couples intertwined in kink in one way or another.

Just a thought. ;)

Thank you for having written such a beautiful piece of fiction.

If you did turn this into a trilogy, I'd like to see Daphnie/Drake, and the off again on again Alexander and C. My biggest thank you and hurrah is, THANK YOU FOR GIVING US AN ENDING to a awesome story! Cheers and blessings! Keep writing!

Constructive criticism:

Some things were tedious, like constantly mentioning '50 Shades' and the negative feed by comparison. Not everyone has read the trilogy, so your story lost some understanding until the reader read further. Now, the comparison could be a turn off to, what I consider, an inspiring trilogy that opened up not only conversation, but minds to an acceptance to the world of kink. Misplaced words as if spell check finished for you-bravo is NOT bra on(my own example not in story sorry), and where it should have been his/him not she/her-past tense mixed in with present tense.

I loved your story, and will agree that it is one of the best on literotica, why I gave it 5 stars and listed as a favorite, a rare occurrence. I've been on this site since 2006.

Well written. Full characters, though I wanted Becca to take a pill at times for her depression, but the way he took control was better than any pill could have worked. :)

I'm just a fan but I wanted to let everyone know who I'm assuming just finished this series that there's one of Daphne that just went up today! Made me so happy to see it up!

I almost passed this story after seeing how long it was. I'm grateful for the readers who took the time to leave feedback bc if it wasn't for the positive rating i would have never experienced the story that preoccupied my thoughts from the journey's start to finish. There were many points throughout i stopped myself from commenting both good and bad, and i am happy i waited it out. aside from a point around chapter 8/9 where i assume a long night of writing lead to the grammar being slightly off, this very well written story is a prize. The writing and structure of the story do justice to your experience in writing.

I especially admire your ability to incorporate such a wide variety of sublets of the lifestyle. While Becca did not enjoy her time with Brian, it made the read that much more enjoyable for some females like myself. The collaring and total submission of Daphne into the life of a slave, the slight role play and even touching on anal. Becca laid out limits and Malcolm tested them with her as it should be. The way it is written so gracefully from this curious females side mixed with the concept of a hidden writer adds a certain level of curiosity to who exactly is behind this piece of art. I do apologize for writing a novel of my own but it is not often i comment and believe this deserves recognition. I really enjoyed the couple exploring voyeurism, the club scene,parties, bondage, suspension, the whole nine yards.

While some ladies sit around waiting for prince charming; ill be hoping to find my own Mr.Mclaren (but a female version batting for my team)

Thanks for the submission, hats off to you!

I loved this whole series. I couldn't stop reading. Not only were the sex scenes arpusing, but I loved the BDSM in it... I especially like the dynamic of Malcolm and Becca's relationship and the role od BDSM in their relationship... It doesn't take over, but provides a lot of excitement in the bedroom, allowing them to have a deeper relationship. I think it's just about perfect! I thought it was realistic, however, the dark side of some of the characters in the scene. I could have done without Brian altogether, but it sure did add levels to the dynamic of the story. I think ypu are a great writer, too. Ypur stories make sense, are detailed and are well written. My favorite story so far is your TAKEN. Looking forward to reading Daphne's story.

but I'm so glad I found it. What a great story. I've put off so much work over the past couple of days just to read this. It's what I would hope a loving, committed BDSM relationship would look like. I look forward to reading more of your work.

I loved reading this story. For me it reaffirmed my ideals of BDSM and how a Dom should be with his Sub. I really needed that right now. So thank you for that. Often the Drakes, brains and Jesse's of the kink world are more the norm and its a pity because the emotional side of a BDSM or D/S relationship that came with Malcom is so much sweeter. You captured the two extremes perfectly. Now I'm off to read about Daphne.

I had such a wonderful journey reading Becca's and Malcolm's story. Thank you so much. It was perfect.

fanny x

I absolutely loved this story! Their characters are well thought out and very real. I love the fact that they don't always agree and they are able to recover from their fights. And the sex scenes are phenomenal. I'm sure I'll be back to read this again!

I really enjoyed your wonderful novel, but Becca and her self-absorption could, at times, be quite exasperating. I really don't understand the magnitude of her anger towards Drake. She knew that he was a Master, who had been in that lifestyle for almost two decades. It wasn't enough that she was constantly "topping" Malcolm from the bottom. No. Ms. Becca wanted to top Master Drake, as well!! I mean, why is it so unforgivable that he and Daphne chose to have a collaring ceremony and live the life 24/7? That was their choice to make, but she made it ALL about her.

When she tries to explain it to him at the hospital, after Malcolm's accident, it sounded almost plausible. Almost. But, how was he supposed to know that the collar would trigger her because of what Brian had done to her (about which he knew none of those details)? And, when she put Drake in the same category as Brian and Jesse, I was floored.

And then, she made it somehow sinister that Daphne accompanied Drake to Chicago when he got the I. C. E. call. Why did she immediately assume that it was because he was being controlling and did not want Daphne out of his sight? It never even occurred to her that she came with her husband for moral support. After all, he had no idea what had happened. For all he knew, Becca could have been injured, or worse.

I also didn't like how she was acting like Daphne was some battered woman. The Drake that you introduced in the beginning was loving and supportive. And, after the close relationship the siblings supposedly had, she was able to just totally shut her brother out over a personal choice that he made. She seemed to forget that it was Drake who introduced her to Malcolm...yet, she was too self-absorbed, judgmental, and stubborn to even invite Drake and Daphne to their wedding.

And, don't even get me started on her handling of the Jesse situation.

Still, having said all this, I think your story is delightful, albeit sometimes frustrating. Thank you so much for so generously sharing your artistic gift with us. This is my first time reading one of your stories, and I can't wait to read each and every one of them, beginning with Raw and Broken.

I really appreciated that the trauma parts of the stories werent described as sexy. as someone who has fallen victim to sexual assault it feels good to know that there are parts of the bdsm community that doesnt romantizise noncon. i also really liked that you talked about the problems of the community and the fact that a lot of abusers and dangerous people are apart of it. i also like that you critize the idea of a slave, since that part always rubbed me wrong as well. idk i think perhaps id like a warning of rape and stuff in the beginning of other chapters, since i was a bit triggered but its okay.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOKOOVE IT!

I started this story at 8:00 pm and finished it at 2:30 PM the next day with only one hour of sleep....

BUT What happens next..?

That was very good. I read this after reading I Kissed A Girl, loved both series. Thank you very much. Like others I have just devoured it, now need to get on with other things. Lol

I searched the Kleinfeld website for the picture of the wedding dress and it is no longer there. However, I believe I found a picture of it on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/533184043393685604/

and a closer look:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/353954851943259979/

@Anonymous - Yes, I can imagine after 6 years that the dress would no longer be on Kleinfeld’s website. But that is the one. The back was even more alluring. I have photos of all angles saved. I will try to get them on Pinterest and link them in the chapter.

Well, that was quite the enjoyable journey. Wishing all the women of this world to find their own Malcolm and be happy in this life. Don't settle for less. Cheers!

One heck of a story. And it proves the adage ‘ It’s the journey not the destination’. Now to read the sexual.