All Comments on 'Ray Ch. 03: Charade'

Always happy to see one of your stories pop .

You've kind of ruined the BDSM scene for me on Lit.

I used to like reading BDSM stories every now and then. Not anymore.

Their inane cardboard mistresses with robot like programing and ridiculous motivation can't do it to me anymore. All I'm left to do is wait for you to release another chapter.

Tthe user profile is for following writers. If you know of a BDSM writer here that even come close to what you do, please point them to us. So I can have something to read while I wait

As for the story, it’s a terrible thing to say to a parent that you like one of their children better, but I'll say it anyway. This one is much more interesting than Finn. While Finn (excellent too) is BDSM + Love 101 – then this child is more mature the writing more styled and confident. The characters way more complex. I'm in love with Natalie a bit scared of mistress Natalia (she can go inside people's head) but that’s good too.

The good:

Beautiful scene with the sex offenders letters – the part with the guy being abused by his brother – excellent touch. The first Dom Sub scene of Ray and Nat – Oh yeah, superb. Usually lectures in stories are drag but you have somehow managed to play Natalia explaining her Job to Ray with grace. Tip fedora. The assaults – very well done, both of them.

The still excellent but could be better:

The sex scene with Mia was hot but it's a bit like these stories that I mentioned. Sex with two people I don't know and don’t care about. You gave Mia a little depth, but only in retrospective. Still hot – could have been much hotter.

Ray thinks Natalie is perfect because she is perfect, you've made her so. She's like a Superwoman. Strong, beautiful, reads minds, intelligent, jumps sex offenders with bare hands, willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of womenkind. Make her more human please. Being afraid of a murderous sex offender is not a weakness. Lets see her get jealous, manipulative, lie, whatever, all the beautiful vices that make Homo Fictus much more interesting.

Cant wait for the next installment

did that annoying AF mistress from prev chapters just saved Natalie's life on this chapter?

Cant say enough thank yous

Simply awesome

You are officialy my nuber one literotica author.

Hot sex AND a good story and it's the same story? COULD IT BE?

U know UR good when U got me off my lazy ass registering a user in this site, just to tell U how good you are.

Off to your other stories. If anyone needs me I'm busy reading.

The Ray pendulum with the two doms was moto moto, smokin, Angelina Julie hooot.

Get a clue.

Cant tell you where my hands were when I read it but they weren't on the mouse or keyboard.

I expect next chapter to have a full report of what happened on Bed number 1,2 and 3

on funday.

Otherwise I'll be very disappointed and I might cry.

I hope you wont make us wait long.

I know that Dallas was the third story submitted but I think of it as your first. I’ve just read again the comments I made when I read it and I still stand by them. I think however, if you do return to Dallas as a serial, it will be much better than I would have thought it would have been at the time. Something I missed then, not surprisingly, was that it would seem you had Officer Ray in mind even then.

To have allthatisfuta as an avid fan is saying something and his observations regarding this story are good. I wouldn’t normally read a futa serial but it’s so well written and I find it enthralling. Well worth a look by anyone.

But back to Natalie and Ray.

I liked the chains sequence, really imaginative, and I thought the heartbeats was a nice touch, as was Finn’s jeans, and the “all seats being taken.” It’s the small things that add that little something. I’m surprised that Morgan, but not Finn, hasn’t featured in some way as she does work for/with Natalie. Can’t remember Professor Holland being mentioned before but a nice way of explaining how Natalie became involved and, together with the Brynn mention, it gave an indication of Natalie’s progress in 9 years both in and out of the Chateau. As I think I’ve said before it’s a more gritty storyline than Finn, with wider possibilities. But nice if it ended up the same. The way it’s going Natalie and Ray deserve no less.

Finally, a complaint I’ve made before to two writers. I wish you and allthatisfuta would give more information in your bio’s. Although we at least know, unlike him/her, your sex and age range. I don’t know about anyone else but, strange as it may sound, I find it helpful in understanding the stories. Not just of the two of you but other writers.

go team ray and nat

and please,i want more sex with mistress mia. that girl is brilliant

I wish I could give you 6.

Great story. One of the best.

The amount of feedback this story has received in the short time it has been posted has been amazing to me and I am incredibly thankful to those who have taken the time to provide it, whether it be just encouragement to continue or constructive feedback to assist with improving the future chapters. Thanks everyone!

Mistress, you did it again! Plenty of action, plenty of suspense, plenty of FemDom...just like this series! Now with this great cliffhanger I cannot wait. However for thee, I am patient...or learning to be

In love, peace, and happiness

In your loving service

I remain Ur Squire, Ur G

Bravo, Sir

When the next chapter is due?

Another amazing chapter! Its 02:48 & I should be asleep but i can't stop reading! Equivalent of a page turner.