by jjsharshaw
Other realisms I'd like to see (or maybe not):
1) Getting a leg cramp.
2) Inadvertant farts during oral sex
3) The boost to the ego when you discover too late that your new lady doesn't "swallow"
4) Getting your tongue stud caught in her lip ring.
Altogether, your submission is an enjoyable respite from phony perfection.
Except for the sleep apnea part, just about everything you've said has happened in my bedroom. Tell me, have you ever had cats sitting at the foot of your bed during, gazing into the middle distance (it's better than them pouncing on your feet)?
In 'The Way We Were' Robert Redford fucked Barbra Streisand and then just rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, you didn't mention the rude noises which emerge in real life when us mortals have sex.
Fun article.
Or a dog who makes a loud eerily human-sounding sighing noise nearby while you're getting busy as if to say, "Sure, it's not enough you got me fixed, now you're going to do THAT right in front of me." Needless to say, it cracked us both up and killed the mood.