by grafexguy2
...to read a story about a sexually-charged couple where the guy actually wants to discover what makes the girl tick, and he's secure enough to allow her to control their time together. And, he's self-confident enough to express himself, and to hear her say to him that she's not satisfied as much as she wants to be, he accepts her comment, and is open to hearing further what she wants. What a concept! Or, several concepts for mutually satisfyin fucking. Gave a five for originality, but shorten the paragraphs. Way to go!
This would be a great piece of sexy writing if it didn't sound so terribly unsexy. Everything is in place, the author has clearly got a handle on what they want to say, but it is obscured by all that 'my solid mass invaded the realm of her cavern' crap. Remember, good writing isn't about Victorian cliches.
I thought it was very hot and I enjoyed the length. I didnt feel any of the descriptions were out of place or superfluous. I appreciate a detailed, well paced story that fully implants the reader into the scene and the characters points of view. very good job!
I loved the story! Great detail, realistic, and hot! Maybe use smaller paragraphs next time.
Very good. Loved this story, well written. But would have liked more details on the subjects. Thanks. v
Maybe the author should try fucking his own ass first to get some actual experience.