All Comments on 'Rebecca's Story'

You're in too big a hurry to get it all out. While I appreciate being able to read the story without a long wait, this one was obviously rushed, and glossed over a lot that should've been more detailed. Also, the dialog in this one, what little there was, was kind of stilted and unnatural. After the detail of the Lake House Lessons, this was a disappointment. I hope the finale will be more like the beginning. Jack & Dana deserve it.

Seemed very rushed like the last lake house chapter

Slow down and let us enjoy the nuances that made the first series worth following

The first series was great - so detailed .... Then Dana's Story was okay - not as detailed, but filled in some blanks. This 2 pager was a disappointment. Not that there wasn't as much sex - but the meat of the story should have been more about Jack and Rebecca. To gloss over their kid's lives in2 paragraphs???? Come on ................

Although I see the other's comments about slow down, I was giving it to Rebecca's voice... then there was the opening at Cal (I WISH academics worked that easily, or she is world class, but she said she wasn't at a top institution... but I'm over picking and too well acquainted with academic appointments as they are at top flight schools right now)

Aaaaand the end, you just aren't quite that lucid at the end of life (my specialty in hospice and palliative care), but again, I'm over picking. It would be wonderful, such a gift if they truly were.

What it does do is allow Dana and Jack a happy ending, which I think people wanted, but we never got to know Rebecca and as the writer, you can give us the story what you create. You can. It's okay, everything you've written has been wonderful, it's just that you have pushed to produce, again giving 'us' what 'we' wanted. It's your story, believe in it!

You are gifted, believe in yourself and keep up the good work!

Yes, this is short, and covers a lot of ground. I did it on purpose. First, I wanted to move the story along. I could have written another 10 chapters taking Jack through college and grad school and his teaching career, but I didn't want to. Instead, I used this as a fast forward. And, I chose to try writing it in a different voice. Second, it is a deathbed reminiscence, so it is not going to be a long piece. Fair point about her lucidity, but my thought that a brilliant woman like Rebecca would hold on as long as possible, and could just pass away, maybe a little earlier than she expected. Maybe.

I wrote this, and the next sequel, which is in Jack's voice, before I started to get comments about how Jack and Dana should have ended up together. So, it is my story, and if it ultimately gives some readers closure, like it did for me, that will be great. And, like this one, there is no explicit sex. I will post that so that it appears some time next week.

Finally, I have a few stories in various stages of doneness that take place in this universe, but don't focus on Jack and Dana (although they may make brief appearances or get mentioned). Included in this bunch is a story that takes place at Jack's college, written from the viewpoint of a women that he has a relationship with, and Dana is a secondary (but not minor) character.

I appreciate the feedback, whether or not I agree with it, and am glad that I have written some things that people enjoy and also want to critique.

I have read most of your writings and enjoyed every one of them. This last page was difficult to read but it sure brought me out of the realm of fantasy and back into the reality of the real world.

cdn405@yahoo.com

Ordinarily when I read romantic, erotic fiction, I don't cry, but damn you Jay David, you got to me.

Great story line, from the Lake House to Rebecca's final moments, you've had me in the heart of the story, and that's hard to do, cause my mind keeps me moving, writing.

Regards,

sfdi1947