Reconnecting the Dots

"She hid them from me," Ashley said, snapping Jake from his thoughts.

He looked up to see her staring at him. And she was pissed.

"How did you get these?" he asked.

Ashley looked down for a second, took a deep breath, and when she looked back up, she had a steely reserve about her. It made Jake's heart sing to see the strength in his little girl. She'd been through so much, yet she was showing a strength about her that reminded him of himself.

"About a week ago," she said, "we were evicted from our apartment."

That took Jake aback, but kept quiet as she continued.

"When I got home from school, all of our stuff was out on the street. Most of it had been picked over. Almost all of my clothes were gone. Most of our furniture and stuff was gone, too." She paused with a haunted look on her face.

Jake didn't know what to say. He wanted to hear her story, and even though it would be painful for Ashley to recount it, he knew it would be better for her in the long run. He learned long ago that holding things in made everything worse.

Continuing with a grimace, she said, "You see, Mom lost her job. She had this jerk manager that she hated. She never told me the details, but she was fired. I had a part-time job, but it wasn't enough to help. She didn't tell me how bad things were, though. I came home on the last day of school to see all our stuff on the curb and an eviction notice on the door. I started pic—"

"Wait," said Jake. Something didn't make sense. "What about Kevin? Doesn't he have a job?"

Ashley looked confused for a second and then her expression changed to one of understanding. It was obvious from the look on his face he was lost. "Um...Kevin left years ago."

Now that did shock Jake. "What!?"

Ashley nodded. "Yeah. He left when I was nine."

Jake's eyes bulged. He was floored and didn't know what to think.

"After we moved up north," Ashley continued, "we stayed with Kevin's uncle for some time. Mom got pregnant again and we needed more space." She paused. Jake could tell she was trying to connect the dots with what she'd learned today to what she already knew. Coming to some conclusion, she held up the returned letters. "That's probably when these were returned."

She was probably right. The time line fit. That answers that mystery. They had moved.

He had known through his lawyer that they were staying with Kevin's uncle, but once the letters were returned, he didn't have the energy to keep spitting in the wind. But Kevin left after they had another baby? Jake always knew there was a strong possibility they would have more kids. But Kevin didn't stick around too long afterwards.

Jake grimaced. "Figures."

Ashley grimaced as well. "Yeah." He could tell she knew what he was thinking. "After what I learned today, it's not surprising that he wouldn't stick around. What did mom think? Only a scumbag would sleep with a married woman." She sounded bitter, which caused Jake to smirk.

Ashley smirked in return. Even after everything she'd been through today, she was showing some spunk, and he liked it. In that regard, she was like him and it was proof, in his mind, that nature was definitely stronger than nurture.

"Do you know where he went?" Jake asked.

"No. After he left, mom refused to talk about him. Every time I would bring him up, she'd yell at me."

Bitch, he said to himself. It was no wonder why Ashley felt like she was responsible for her mother's actions.

"So, what happened after he left?" he asked gently. Even though she was showing some spunk, he could tell she was at her wit's end. She looked emotionally drained.

"We had to move again. She couldn't afford the apartment we were living in. So we got this smaller apartment where I had to share a room with my brother. Things were tough for a while, but eventually she got a better job. Mom dated some, but never got serious with another guy. We ended up living in that apartment until the day of the eviction when I found the letters."

Jake's questioning glance caused her to trudge on.

"I started picking through the pile to see if I could salvage anything. I gathered whatever clothes and personal items I could find." She started breathing a little heavier. She was getting worked up. "Then I started going through a few boxes I'd never seen before, and that's where I found the letters. I read through them and that's when I realized that she hid them from me all these years. So I decided to find out the truth for myself."

"Does your mom know that you found them?"

"Yeah. I confronted her," she said with disdain. "The bitch denied everything. And when I showed them to her, she still tried to deny it. But I...I knew she was lying by the look on her face. She made some lame excuse that it must've been Kevin blah blah blah. I know for a fact Kevin wouldn't have kept them. He hated you." Ashley was fuming now. "So I lost it and demanded to know the truth! We got into this huge fight and said some horrible things to one another. So I told her to go fuck off and I left. I went to stay with a friend, looked you up on the internet, gave notice at work, bought a bus ticket with my last paycheck, and came to see for myself if what I've been told was true or not." She was breathing heavily by the time she finished.

Jake didn't know what to say. He had envisioned what her life was like all these years, and a thousand scenarios had gone through his head, but now that he knew the reality, he didn't know what to think. They sat in silence. He looked over at Ashley and his heart broke to see the state she was in. She looked completely drained. She had used up her last reserves and now looked as if all she wanted to do was sleep. He knew it was time to wrap things up, but they had a few more things to cover.

"Did Kevin treat you OK?" he asked, needing to know for his own sanity. The thought of Kevin mistreating his little girl caused his stomach to churn.

She shrugged languidly. "I guess. He made sure to constantly remind me that he wasn't my real dad, and he never hugged me or anything like that, bu...but he didn't treat me bad either." She paused here. By the look on her face, Jake could tell she was struggling with what she wanted to say next.

"It's OK," he said. "Just say what's on your mind."

Her bottom lip trembled. She started to speak only to stop. The silence stretched. Jake was about to encourage her again, when she finally said, "H...He would always tell me how bad of a person you were a...and I believed him. I...I'm sorry."

Jake stood up and engulfed Ashley in another bear hug. He needed to reassure her once again that she wasn't to blame. "It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. There's no reason to be sorry." He felt her trembling in his arms, but no tears came this time. It seems she was finally all cried out.

"Bu...but it is my fault," she said in a small voice. "I should have known. I...I listened to them and I believed it."

Damn! Those! Fucking! Pieces! Of! Shit!

Up until now, he'd been trying to keep his anger in check for Ashley's sake. But now that he knew the whole story, his anger was rearing its ugly head. Ashley blamed herself for their actions and they needed to pay. Right then and there, with a trembling Ashley in his arms, he felt like tracking down his ex-wife and that piece-of-shit, and ending them. What they did to his little girl was inexcusable. He could feel himself start to tremble. He felt like railing against the world at the unfairness of it all.

Damn her and damn him!

The tremors started to gain in intensity. He could feel the blood pumping through his veins; he started seeing red, but then Claire's voice sounded in his head like a soothing balm.

Take a deep breath, baby. Don't let the anger consume you. Don't let it win. I'm here for you. I love you.

He could hear her as if she was standing in the room, talking him off the edge. Taking her advice, he took a deep breath, and just like that, his anger started to subside.

He learned long ago that anger was a poison. It seeped into every part of your being, affecting your life in ways you would never think of. He let it consume him for close to two years after he signed the papers, and it was Claire who guided him back time and time again, until he finally realized that holding on to his anger was doing more harm than good. He needed to stay calm. It wouldn't do him any good now to lose it. Ashley needed him.

Coming back to himself, he could still feel Ashley trembling in his arms. "You OK?" he asked.

"P...p...please forgive me."

Pulling back, he forced her to look him in the eye. She looked terrible. Voice cracking, he said, "There's nothing for you to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. Please don't blame yourself."

She held his gaze. He could tell she wanted to believe him, but the guilt was too difficult to overcome right now. She needed more time. What she needed now was a good rest. He had planned on telling her about the trust fund they had set up, but right now that would probably be too much to handle. Tomorrow was another day.

"It's OK," he said more to himself. "But you know what?"

She shot him a questioning look.

"The most important thing is that you're here. You're safe and I won't let anything else happen to you." He kissed the top of her head, pulled back and smiled. "And don't worry. We'll get you new clothes. I'm sure Claire and Kara would love to take you shopping. They love to shop."

She was speechless. She had finally hit a wall.

"Why don't we stop for now," he suggested.

She nodded.

"Come. Let's get you settled." He released her, grabbed her bag, and led her back across the hallway. "Why don't you relax for a bit. Claire should be home in about an hour with dinner."

Ashley nodded, then asked, "Could...um...I take a shower?"

"Off course. You don't have to ask. Let me show you where the clean towels are."

-----

Jake checked his watch. It was 5:16. He was sitting at the kitchen table, beer in hand, going over the day's events. It was all so surreal. That very morning he had woken up and went to work like it was just any ordinary day. But his ordinary day had turned into something else. He didn't know how to classify what had happened. Was it a miracle? He wasn't a religious guy, but had said a prayer—or fifty—over the years to whomever might be listening. Had his prayers been answered?

That's way above my pay grade.

He sighed. Whatever it was, he still couldn't believe it. Ashley, his little girl, was asleep upstairs in what was now her bedroom. Tears of happiness filled his eyes. Wiping them away, he smiled, recalling the scene he had stumbled upon about an hour ago. After he left her to shower, he went back into his office to gather the rest of the documents he needed to show her. He then called the bar to check on things, as well as to inform them he wouldn't be coming in tomorrow. With that taken care of, he went to check on Ashley. Putting his ear to the door, he didn't hear the sound of the shower running, so he knocked. When no response came, he entered the room to find a freshly showered Ashley, fast asleep, snuggled under the covers. He quietly approached the bed and stared at her sleeping face like he remembered doing all those years ago. He used to love watching her sleep. She had such a peaceful look on her face...

The sound of the garage door opening snapped Jake back to reality. He looked up as Claire came barging through the door, hands laden with bags of Chinese food. She had an expectant look on her face.

"Where is she?" she asked excitedly, looking every which way.

Jake grinned. "She's asleep."

A look of disappointment crossed her face, quickly to be replaced with one of understanding. "I take it things were pretty emotional?"

Jake nodded.

Claire set the bags down, walked over to Jake, plopped her petite frame into his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned in, and gave him a smoldering kiss. Pulling back, she looked into his eyes. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What happened?"

Now that was a loaded question. He closed his eyes trying to settle his thoughts. What did happen? He was still trying to process it himself. Where would he even begin? He needed...

Jake felt a hand caress his cheek, then heard, "Come back to me, baby."

He opened his eyes. Claire's face was inches from his own. He leaned in and kissed her passionately again. The kiss lasted a good thirty seconds. When they separated, Claire gave him such a loving smile, that right then and there, he felt like the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

"So, what happened?" she asked again.

He grimaced. "They really did a number on her. She blames herself and nothing I say can convince her otherwise." He could feel his anger building again. "I don't know what to do."

Then Claire's voice sounded like a soothing balm. "Calm down, baby. Don't let the anger consume you. Don't let it win." This time, though, the words weren't imagined. They were real. She had sensed his anger rising and stopped it dead in his tracks. All he could do was chuckle as his anger subsided. God, he loved her.

"What's so funny?" she asked with amusement.

"Nothing. Not important. But what is important is how we can help her. I don't know what to do."

"That's easy."

"Easy?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes. Easy. We support and love her. It's going to take time, but eventually she'll come around." She paused, then added. "And therapy might help, too."

"Therapy?"

"Yes. Therapy. I know you're not big on therapy, but—"

"It's not that I'm against it. It's just that—"

"Yes, I know. But don't forget how stubborn you were when we first met. You wouldn't accept help from anybody, including me. I had to literally hold you down and force you. But once you accepted it, things turned out all right." She gave him an expectant look. "Didn't they."

Jake had to think about that one. Everybody had pushed him to go to therapy, but back then, he was the type of guy that liked doing things on his own. At first, he didn't want anybody's help, including Claire's, but she was persistent, and eventually he allowed her in. Was he letting his stubbornness cloud his judgment again? With Claire's help, he didn't need to go to therapy—she was the only therapy he needed—but he did learn to take help from others. And she was right. Things turned out way better than all right.

"You're right," he said, leaning in and planting another kiss on her lips.

When the kiss ended, Claire pulled back and smiled. "I know I'm right."

Jake chuckled. "We'll look into therapy for her, but only if she agrees."

"Agreed. But we might have to guide her a bit. She might be as stubborn as her father." She gave him a knowing look.

He chuckled again. "OK, but I don't think she has any medical insurance. We didn't go into too many specifics, but from what I gathered, I doubt she has any."

"I'll talk to Joan at work. I'll get her added to the family plan."

"Good. And that leads to something else. She doesn't have much. All her clothes were stolen, so I told her you and Kara would take her shopping."

Claire gasped. "Oh, the poor thing. Of course we will. We'll get her whatever she needs. Kara will jump at any chance to go shopping."

"Speaking of Kara, how do you think the kids will take it?"

"Oh my gosh. They'll love her. Especially Kara. She's always wanted a sister. As for Carter—you know him. He's as easygoing as they come. He'll just go with the flow."

Jake grinned. "My thoughts exactly. And what do you think about offering her the same deal we did Kara and Carter?"

"Of course," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You did tell her about the trust fund, right?"

"Not yet. I was going to but..." His voice cracked, trailing off.

"Oh, baby. Don't worry. Everything will be all right." She leaned in and kissed him passionately again. God, he loved her; ever the eternal optimist. He didn't know what he would do without her.

They were interrupted by the sound of the garage door opening. Jake turned his head to see Kara come through the door, dirty blonde hair in a ponytail, bobbing in her wake.

"Oh, good. Chinese food. I'm starving. I'm going to go upstairs to chan..." Kara said, only to stop dead in her tracks. She took them in. "What's wrong? Did somebody die?" Obviously she could sense something was going on.

Jake looked at Claire, silently asking if he should be the one tell her. She nodded. Turning to Kara, Jake cleared his throat. "I had an unexpected visitor today."

"Who?"

"Ashley."

"Ashley?" she asked, with a confused look.

"The Ashley," added Claire.

It took a few seconds, but then realization hit. "Wait. You mean...?" She looked wide-eyed at Jake.

He nodded slowly.

"Ohmygod! Really!?"

"Yes."

She looked around the room as if Ashley was going to jump out at her. "Where is she!?"

"She's sleeping upstairs."

"Ohmygod! Are you serious? Wha...how? What happened?"

Jake chuckled. "Yes, sweetheart. I'm serious. As for what and how, I'll tell everyone over dinner."

Kara nodded. She seemed too shocked to speak.

"Let me set the table," Claire said as she got off Jake's lap, but not before planting another kiss on his lips. "Have you heard from Carter?" she asked Kara.

Kara didn't answer immediately. She was still rooted to the same spot. Shaking her head as if to clear it of cobwebs, she said, "Oh...um...yeah. I talked to him like ten minutes ago. He was stuck in traffic. He'll be home any minute."

"Good."

And then Kara, whom Jake had called his-little-chatter-box ever since she had come into his life, threw her petite frame into his arms and started rambling. "Ohmygod, Dad! I can't believe it! This is like the coolest thing ever! I'm so happy! What's she like!? Ohmygod! I'm going to have a sister! That's so cool! What's she look like!? Where has she been!? Where is..."

Jake just chuckled as she went on and on. He glanced over at Claire to see that she too was amused at Kara's response. If he had any doubt about his family accepting Ashley, it just went out the window. But one thing stilled worried him: How was Ashley going to deal with it all?

-----

Jake's cell phone buzzed. He stopped what he was doing—raking a mulch bed—and wiped his hands on his tee-shirt. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. He had a text from Claire. It read:

Finished shopping. Be home in 10. OMG she's such a doll :) xoxoxoxo

Jake smiled. She had used OMG. Kara was definitely rubbing off on her mother. He typed back:

Sounds good see you soon

He had decided to do some work in the yard while the girls shopped. He needed to do some thinking and the monotony of yard work helped clear his head. The events from yesterday were starting to finally process in his brain and he was coming to some conclusions—some positive, and some not so. On the positive side, he was looking forward to building a relationship with Ashley. It would probably be rough going for a while, but he was optimistic. Well, it was more like Claire's optimism rubbing off. Her enthusiasm was infectious. She already had Ashley's integration into the family planned out. In bed the night before, she had spouted off a list of things as if she'd been planning for years. She had touched upon a few things he'd been mulling over, and together, they came up with a game plan. But mostly, it was Claire.

On the not so positive side, he came to the conclusion that he was most likely going to have to contact his ex-wife. While he was raking away, one thing kept coming back to him over and over again: Why did his ex do it? He had given up seeking the answer to that question years ago. He just learned to live with it—not that he had a choice. But this was a totally different situation. His little girl was in pain, and he would do anything to take that pain away, even if it meant talking to his ex. A saying he heard years ago popped into his head: A real man puts the ones he loves before himself. If it came down to it, he would do it. He'd have to get Claire's take on it.