All Comments on 'Red-Eye'

Couple things:

"Amy looked around the cabin, noticing that several seats were available throughout the plane.

"Uh, there's plenty of seats available you know."

Repetitive. The first line isn't needed.

"Hello, my name is Steven."

"Hello, I'm Amy." This is oddly stilted or like something in a children's book. MIght be better and more natural this way:

"I'm Steven, by the way."

"Amy."

"Steven's right hand was under the blanket, and it was resting on her thigh. Not only was he resting it on her thigh, but he was squeezing it gently." You do that a lot, putting the same words or phrases twice in a row. You need to remove the second "resting on her thigh."

"The feeling began at the base of her toes as a slight tingle. Goosebumps formed at the base of her scalp, and her breathing began to quicken" You have "the base of"(what is the base of toes anyway?) twice. More words are not necessarily better:

"The feeling began at the tips of her toes, goosebumps prickled her scalp and her breathing quickened."

"The other sensation worked its way up her leg, passing the knees and causing a slight tickling sensation that made her curl her toes."

" This sensation was so new, so intense, and she began to experience a sensation of filling in her lower abdomen." I can't count all the repetitions of "sensation." All these redundancies in sex scenes really takes away from any heat that should be building. "Lower abdomen" is something a doctor might say, and it's not exactly erotic. "Belly" is better.

"Steven was easily 8 inches, and slightly narrower than a normal cock." Dick sizes in inches is juvenile and boring. And his cock isn't "normal?"

"he was very congenial with what she was doing." Seriously? A strange woman has just taken his dick in her mouth and he finds it "congenial?"

"and he soon began letting out deep sighs through his mouth." Of course they're through his mouth. It's the only place from which sighs can come. Should be a period after "sighs."

Maybe English is not your first language? If it isn't, I suggest you request an editor. This could be a very hot little scene with some ruthless paring down of all the unnecessary stuff.

Not sure why the previous commentator would want to go through a story noting every minor thing that may, in their opinion, be wrong with it. It's not like it's an act of parliament.

I found it an enjoyable read, with the twist at the end enough to distinguish it from many otherwise similar stories. Look forward to further stories from you.

Don't listen to the fuck below. Good story

Great story with sexually open couples.