All Comments on 'Released Ch. 01'

Strange piece period . Not sure what to think. Alone for 2 years and still he had no idea where she is at? Oh come on now, a normal reaction would be to find her and ask the obvious questions.

Why she did it? What was her motivation for doing it? Finally the biggest question should be, what happen while he was tied up? Too many unanswered questions.

There is no character or background development which leads to more unanswered questions. Not sure what to expect next or if I really want to either?

Really weird.

Stop now please. There is no coherence to this tale and no way of understanding it. No character development, and no motivation for what may have happened.

Ok class, in today's example we show why not to

start a story off with a flash back from who exactly?

Cut him some slack. He seems to have an interesting, convoluted mind. Let's hear more from this young Swedish boy.

This is the literary equivalent of one of those films. And this story NEEDED the equivalent of subtitles to let the reader know what the fuck was going on.

i had no problem following the story, i just got more and more curious as it went on about where the story was leading. the mom is way creepy, but seems to know she's got a problem. or maybe it's all a lie that she went to a mental institution. i don't know, but i see this as more of a prologue than a story in itself, and i'm really eager to see where it's headed. please don't let the criticism get to you. people are just like that here sometimes.

I'm interested in to what he is going to do to his mother, and if he is going to turn gay and like to be fucked up the ass, now that he has had his ass stretched for two years.

I'll be watching for the next chapter.

plz more dialouges between them.

Let's review, shall we? (Keeping in mind this is just the first part of the first PARAGRAPH...)

"As I lay there in my bed with my hard erection in my hand..." Where? There? And as opposed to ...what? A 'soft' erection? Wouldn't it be clearer to write "I lay in bed with my erection in my hand..."? Shitty, amateur mistakes. And they're mistakes that he'll continue to make if he doesn't A) LEARN that he's making them in the first place and B) LEARN how to write properly. Pampering him with bullshit praise is more cruel than pointing out what he's doing wrong.

"...my thoughts went to that night three years ago when I was 18 and my mother was 36. It had been an evening like most evenings and we had eaten a good meal together late as usual when she suggested that we had a drink. It was a Thursday but I was happy to accept her offer (as I said I was 18 years old and as such I drank everything with alcohol in it that I could get my hands on). Besides, the only reason my mother would have of giving me a drink would be something special and as she went into the living room were our drink cabinet was I wondered what she wanted to talk about that was so important that she would drink with me."

Run-on sentences. Run-on sentences lacking punctuation so that we might make some sense out of what we're trying to read. And who the hell says "would of giving me a drink"? Don't you mean 'would HAVE'? Don't you mean "GIVEN"? And "WHERE" did you keep the drink cabinet? This is sloppy. This is garbage. This is sloppy garbage. And a monkey whacking it's dick against a keyboard could write as well as the retard who submitted this sloppily written garbage.

Now, if anyone ELSE wants to blow smoke up the retard's ass and tell him what a wonderful job he did, and how he deserves praise for making a shitty, half-hearted effort, go right the fuck ahead.

Not my kind of incest story

Hey Something,, you sure seem to have A burrrrrrrrr up your ass, where are your stories. I checked you fucking goof,, you have none, but you sure as hell come down on others

If you dont fucking like A story DONT fucking read it

We can all tell you have not got the mentality to write even kiddie stories, so do us all A favor and FUCK OFF

Do you criticize an NFL game even though you never played pro football? Probably. You're the one who needs to fuck off, you twat.

Awful grammar and spelling.