All Comments on 'Relieving the Tension'

Awsome!

One example:

Skipped school, dad gets home at 6pm, talking with step mom at 10:30am, now all of a sudden has sex with step-mom at 8pm with dad still not home and 9.5 hours passed in seconds?

Tip:

The story would be good, but keep in mind, the reader only sees what they're told, if you tell them a setting then have it suddenly be different it disorients the reader. (Re-read your work before posting it)

Well, where to start.

A. It needs to be longer

B. We need more description

C. Why didn't he fuck his stepmom properly

And D. What did her actually feel?

Tip for writing: make yourself cum for details

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