All Comments on 'Rendezvous with the Night Ch. 01'

It shames me as a man knowing that another man has the imagination of a rapist to write what you are thinking about. Are you a sexual predator and have to register with the local law enforcement? If you are not, then you should be because you have the imagination of a slug. Women want to be loved and respected not raped and taken against their will. The want to hear soothing and loving words, not such words as bitch, slut, whore, ect. I hope you seek mental therapy because you really need it. Good luck in you next career, which will probably be in a straight jacket.

I really didn't understand a lot of this story,jumbled, convuleted,and not sexy, had a creapy feel to it.Is the author in trouble, I think so.

I see some of the readers are intellectually challenged. If they don't realize that what we enjoy as fantasy, we may or may not want to experience in real life.

Keep going, and ignore the idiots.

It's brown and it smells. No amount of dressing it up as a bed of roses will change the face that it is nothing but shit, plain and simple. The purpose of literotica is to write stories that will make a man tumescent. That's hard in lay terms. Speaking of lay terms...what the fuck happened to fuck.

You wrote a story to tittilate those of you, whose shit does not stink. Me? it was just , as it was put before by annon. it was just a jumble of words. No shit. Your story stunk like shit. I suppose you will sit there and masturbate yourself, most of us just jerk off, on what a glorious peice of literature you wrote. The main purpose of the written wrtd is to convey something to another. You conveyed all right. You conveyed shit...er excusssseee me...I mean feces.

A very dangerous mind there. And very kinky... don't even worry about those stupid comments below. They really don't know what they are talking about. You are a top class writer. Can't wait till other parts come up.

As a female reader, it is very surprising to find a male writer so tuned to female psychology and mind. I don't know whether you got any help from your gf or wife. But this is almost a masterpiece. And you have a very distinctive style others would not dare imitate. The difference between the first and the second works are like heaven and earth. And if--that's my assumption--you tried to make a deliberate difference between those two, as I see the approach was completely opposite, then I have to say you have mastered the skill.

Looking forward to reading more of your work. The way you made the most treacherous experience of a woman into something of beauty ... that certainly is a remarkable feat.

L.

<p>This writer has produced a pretentious little piece of trip that isn’t “intricate” at all. The writer doesn’t organize his thoughts very well so I can see how one might mistake “confusion” for “complicated,” but the illusion of complexity is just that. The reader is left with a montage of poorly constructed paragraphs that, together, are apparently a “stream of consciousness” from the mind of a woman whose sense of integrity has been destroyed. It’s just cheating. It’s not pretty; it’s not sexy. It’s just depressing.</p> <p>There’s nothing new in this story. There are a couple hundred wife-takes-opportunity-of-drunk-husband-to-fuck-another-man stories here on LE. Even the wording in this “story” is just too similar to all those others.</p>

<p>Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally</p>

It's more than interesting to see the "other side." Don't wait too long with your continuation.

please don't do a part 2. There is no way that you should be compounding this mess. This story should qualify you for a genuine darwin award, just leave it at that.

Well, congratulation, Surraville. It seems like your story just attracts a bunch of losers who just love to jump on you for writing something that truly gets on their nerves. It is a good sign for writers. Either an extreme hate (rated 0) or an absolute fascination (rated 100). Not too many writers can provoke readers like that.

Just Can't wait till the Part II. LOL

Kisses and hugs.

L.

A very good read. An exciting beginning. There appear to be very few writers of this calibre on this website. I hope to read much more from this writer. Thanks.

"exhilirant" isn't a word you see used much and this author employed it twice in the space of two paragraphs. The first usage was actually incorrect.

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There's little plot here. In and of itself, that's not a problem since this is chapter one of a multi-part story. However, the author's hook is weak. Sorry, reading about some skank trying to make up her mind about what to wear to some unspecified event doesn't grab my attention. It probably didn't grab yours either.

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While I'm sure that Rhonda's descent into slutdom is unique and interesting to her, it's not particularly interesting to me. Been there, read that. Show me something or show me the door.

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Can't say that I thought much of chapter one. Here's a 50 for your effort and I thank you.

wandering with hifalutin prose listening to itself proudly.-------. Over written in the largest sense. I see you impressed a few but really the flow was awkward and clunky and mis-worded a number of times causing re-reads to untangle what I thought you meant.--------. Relax - tell a story - paint a scenario - flow will impress where this didn't.------. The potential is good and with a strong editor who knows. Think about it.-----. Now the subject matter seems to infer a wimp and likely a pimp spouse which won't sell well in Peoria nor here with few exceptions unless there is some level of consequence which isn't implied nor apparently intended - maybe.

One of the best stories here!!! Well done.

Pretty good start. I hope you develop a nice plot around her exploits

Well crafted with whispers of things to come. It seems that most of the perennial critics on this site have independently developed their own ideas as to what constitutes good writing and their own definitions of erotic writing. I would consider giving credence to their comments if I could find any of their own works so I could judge their abilities and style but, alas, there doesn’t seem to be any available.

Surraville – you will find the valid critiques in your email inbox.

PW

if you write like that, you can fuck any woman you want... there is no way anyone could resist that. i am so wet reading this story.

I am torn about this story. The plot is something that really worked for me, I was quite turnd on. But the technical writing skills were really a problem. Without belaboring the issue, there were numerous misuses of words and sentence structure.

But I am glad I was able to get past that, I do look forward to more stories and sequels. I am not so stuck up about language that I can't see past the limitations that the author has to deal with.

This comment is about 2 years too late but it is most certainly needed for anyone who stumbles upon this writer. As one commenter stated, "It shames me as a man knowing that another man has the imagination of a rapist to write what you are thinking about.", I have to agree as it is not far off from the truth. I'd also like to state that the user "clendestinexxx" is the author of this story using that profile as an outlet as well as a means to boost his ego in front of others. How do I know this, you ask? The picture used on the "clendestinexxx" profile is none other than my own. This person is an ex of mine, a truly psychotic one at that. I must also add that bad grammar is a trademark of his.

made the story juicy freakzy. Did he fuck you good? Did he baby? Was you a juicy little slag for other men?

Yes, now she has HIV and is dieing alone. Just as it should be. The End to another whore. No lost to nm o one just another whore on death row as it should be.

Why are the "good" ones so easy to make whore s of.

whatever happened to part II?

She is Broken In!

My wife and I enjoyed this story a lot. She was much like Rhonda, a good Christian wife, with me her loving husband, and two fine children. However, at a weekend trade show party that we attended, she got dominated by a client.

He treated her just like the dominant man treated Rhonda in your story. That literally popped my wife’s cork, sexually speaking. Now, she has affairs with men who fuck her good. Usually, these are just 2 to 4-month affairs, but they really make her hot sexually. She has become a much better lover!

She says, “Even us Christian wives, us soccer moms, need good fucking and lots of it!” She always has them take a blood test first. That way they can cum right in her married pussy!