by hamptonite
Stop writing til you get YOUR own characters names right. Stan switched to Steve every other sentence. Oh and come up with an actual story.
Fuck, bad enough switching names every other sentence, but seriously? 4 words apart in the same sentence?
One moment he's admiring her ass, the next they are fucking, out of nowhere. Add some back story or something.
The outline of the story was plausible but under developed. Oh, and of course the name thing.
Fill in the story and resubmit.