All Comments on 'Renee - A College Freshman Ch. 01'

That's it...?

Renee turned and watched as her friend drove away.

(This is past tense. It happened already.)

She hurriedly runs up the porch to the house.

(This is present tense. It's happening as your write it.)

Renee casually strolled into the kitchen and drops her bookbag on the floor...

(Strolled = past tense, Drops = present tense ...IN THE SAME SENTENCE.)

You don't have to be a grammar Nazi to find the gaping hole where your BASIC ENGLISH should have been. So, either you weren't bright enough to retain it when you learned it, or you haven't learned it yet. I'm leaning toward "haven't learned it yet". I think you're a minor who just doesn't know how the hell to write.

Go learn. Don't submit any more abortions like this until you've gotten a clue.

Before you belittle someone else's writings, you should first write your own story.

Secondly, her use of these verbs were acceptable as used. Being an English professor of 27 years, I can categorically state that when she used the verb drove away is as acceptable as if she had said drives away.

I think you better get your facts straight, before you judge someone else's writing. Like I said, maybe you should write your OWN story before you have the audacity to belittle someone else's work.

I've previously written that I don't often bring an opinion to this site, however, I often observe here that this is as much about the people posting comments as it is about the writers and their stories. I too have a degree - a master's degree in English Literature which I've used effectively at the high school and college levels over the last 45 years approximately. I think that gives me some backup in support of the anonymous professor who set the proper tone for further feedback.

The writer of this story correctly applied the parts of speech he chose to use.

As for the other anonymous comment - "Believe it - that is it! The writer wrote the story as if it is "a snapshot" - a brief moment or experience with her father, while he provides no further insight as to whether this experience will continue in the future. And as stories go, that's all well and good too. If you preferred a different story than this one, it would be preferable that you neutralize your bias, then perhaps your reading pleasure as to what you really enjoy would probably find you rather than you having to go chasing for it, thus avoiding any future disappointment. Thank you readers!

MikeGD, this is not the best nor the worst story I've read on this site. However, it is what it is and was grammatically well presented. I give 4 stars because you made my reading experience easy and understandable without me having to labor through the language.

that an English professor and someone with a Master's in English Lit would both be unfamiliar with inconsistent verb tense.

It was distracting, but hardly worth the rant from Baloney Pony. Overall I found the story a good first effort.

We've heard this argument before: "If you haven't submitted a story, you shouldn't comment negatively on someone else's story." Which is bullshit, of course. "If you haven't played professional sports..." "If you're not an established professional musician..." and so on. I don't have to have posted stories here to know the difference between good and garbage.

Next: Who says I HAVEN'T submitted stories here? I've posted many, and no, I'm not going to give out the username I use when posting. (Too many assholes who are offended by my honest opinions while commenting with THIS username.)

Also, for the anonymous "English Professors with Masters Degrees who've been teaching at the Post Graduate Super-Secret Squirrel level since before they were born" (yeah, intentional sarcasm), if you've been letting your students get away with improper and inconsistent verb tense (within a single sentence, in case you missed it), either you're idiots, or your students are around five or six years old. (Big LMAO there.)

Finally, I stand by my opinion that the author is either way too young to be on this site, let alone submitting stories as badly written as this, OR he's also an idiot who couldn't retain basic English sentence structure when it was taught to him. And my money is on "he hasn't been taught it yet because he's a KID".

And in conclusion, my earlier comment wasn't a rant. THIS is a rant.

I calls it like I sees it.

I do not believe that any of you could have anything near a Masters degree in English lit or any thing else.I will say this, "I like good english. Not this trash that gets everyone lost by the 2nd sentence. To all our forgien writers, PLEASE do not write another line or word until you MASTER the English langage. I'm getting tied of deciphering your wording.

Now, Renee, don't tell your slut too much about daddy!!

I was imagining me doing the fucking as I read it. Kudos. Yummy.

I agree with baloney, the sentence structure was horrible. There's no way an english professor would find those sentences in a paper and not deduct major points off thr grade, unless our education system has finally become such a joke. So, anything you throw up out of your mouth is ok now, even if it breaks simple grammatical rules? Maybe the harsh tone wasn't warranted, but, if its garbage, use it to scoop poop!