Respect Ch. 04

"We better take her home." Charles laughed and his wife nodded.

"Come on, Pet...before you break something." Charli slapped her thigh as if she was calling a dog and Lisa just laughed, pulling her mouth away from Jack's penis with a soft wet plop.

"See you guys later." She kissed them both and slipped off the bed, joining her two owners with kisses and hugs as they left the room, closing the door behind them with a loud snick.

"You think this is a good time?" I asked Angela quietly and she shrugged.

"Maybe. They're relaxed anyway." She giggled, but it was a nervous sound.

"What are you two whispering about?" Paul asked with a good natured smile.

"If they want sex..." My husband sighed theatrically, "Call me next week. Jesus that girl was crazy."

"No shit." Paul nodded and it was clear that our husband's had taken a friendly liking to each other.

I could almost put my worries behind me, all the uncertainties and fears I'd been contemplating for much too long. I had to tell the two men about my baby and who the father was, and that made me nervous, but after going through what I had with Angela, after hearing her story, my own pain and doubts seemed much less than I'd made them out to be. I'd suffered with guilt and remorse and begged forgiveness for seven months. Angela had suffered much worse since she'd been sixteen. Compared to that, this was going to be easy, I thought, however it turned out.

But I was still scared as hell.

"I uh, I have to tell you guys something." I said, standing slowly and leaving Angela to sit on the floor behind me as I approached the bed.

"Okay." My husband shrugged. "Both of us?"

"Yeah." I swallowed hard and looked down, the way I was accustomed to, but I didn't want that. I forced myself to look at them, taking a ragged breath.

"It's okay." Angela said softly, reminding me that I wasn't alone.

"It's about my baby...ummm..." I touched my stomach, feeling myself still hot inside.

"Alright." My husband said slowly, sitting up a little.

"Paul..." I glanced at him and found it to be more than a glance, I couldn't look away. "Paul's the father of my baby."

"Wha..." My husband started.

"He's the man I had sex with." I looked at my husband and this time I did lower my eyes, looking down at my swollen tummy, stroking it with my fingers. "It's his child."

"Are you sure?" Paul asked, like he couldn't believe me for some reason.

"Shut-up, Paul." Angela said loudly.

"You think she's lying?" My husband said it sarcastically, like he couldn't believe Paul would ask a question like that.

"No, I just..." he looked at my husband. "Well, somebody had to ask." He flashed his charming smile, but I didn't think that was going to help.

"It's yours." I said, looking at him. "You're the only one I..." I licked my lips, glancing at my husband. "The only one I did it with."

"Is that it?" My husband asked me.

I didn't understand what he meant. Wasn't that enough? I had been expecting him to be a little more emotional, or something. Maybe yell at me, or Paul probably. Didn't he have anything to say to the man who'd gotten me pregnant? Jack was just sitting there on the bed, and right next to him was Paul, as if they were lovers or something, both of them naked, still a little flushed from fucking Lisa. It was surreal and confusing. My husband had never reacted the way I'd expected, ever since the beginning.

"Uh, there's more." I admitted slowly. "I'm...you know I'm giving up the baby, I have to." I was talking to myself as much as anyone, feeling a stab of reluctance, but knowing I had no choice.

"I'm going to adopt Lisa's baby." Angela said, squeezing my shoulders gently. "We're going to adopt it." She said to her husband.

"Are you sure?" Paul asked, imitating his question to me, but this time his voice was soft and generous with love.

"Yeah." Angela nodded, giving him a smile. "I am."

"Oh, Angie..." Paul started to rise from the bed.

"Don't..." Angela held up her hand. "I'm going to be mad at you for a long time I think. Don't spoil it, Paul. Just be quiet and get dressed."

"Mad?" Paul asked, but he was doing as he was told, looking around for his pants.

"She was just a kid, Paul. You should have known better." Angela was shaking her head. "And without any protection? What did you think was going to happen?"

"I thought she was playing..." Paul shrugged. "I mean, yeah, okay, she's a kid, she didn't have a clue what she wanted, but we get a lot of strange women, honey, you know that..."

"Don't honey me." Angela shook her head. "You're shirt's over there."

"I thought it was like a fantasy thing..." Paul glanced at my husband who was just sitting there listening, the same way I was. "She wasn't going to castrate Jack, believe me. She was just looking for rationalization. I see it all the time, Angie. Women need an excuse..."

"And men don't, yeah, we know." Angela said sarcastically. "Get your socks, it's going to be cold on the couch."

"Angie..." Paul pouted a little and looked at me. "I'm sorry, Lisa, I really am."

And that was the first time he told me he was sorry, and really the first time I even thought about it. I guess he did owe me one, but Angela had been right, it did take two to tango, so I wasn't comfortable with him taking all the blame. Before I could say anything though, Angela was hurrying him along.

"Yeah, very sorry...Come on, doctor, you're lucky she doesn't sue you for malpractice." Angela gave me a little smile and a hug and then a kiss. "Talk to your husband, it'll be okay." But I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. I don't think she'd expected my husband's subdued reaction any more than I had.

"Bye." I kissed her one more time and she gave my tummy a little pat.

"Uh, bye Lisa." Paul looked at me, still apologetic. "Jack..." he gave my husband a wan smile.

"Paul." My husband nodded, neither smiling nor frowning.

Two minutes later we were alone, my husband and I, in a bedroom that belonged to no one at all.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, desperately wanting some clarity for the first time in seven months. I was tired of being confused and afraid all the time, why couldn't he just tell me what he wanted?

"I think you need to meet our sponsors." Jack shrugged. "Sit down."

"What?" I stared at him, trying to decipher what that meant. It made no sense at all and I thought perhaps I hadn't heard him correctly, but I knew I had.

"Paul will send them in." Jack was almost smiling and that bothered me more than anything else. "Just sit down, you'll see."

"Paul? What?" I did sit down, mechanically and without thinking. My mind was trying to understand, but there just wasn't enough information.

The door opened a few minutes later.

"Clarice?" I stood up, suddenly so surprised I thought I was going to have my baby on the spot. "James?"

The woman, whom I hadn't seen in more than seven months, was walking into the room, smiling. She was dressed nicely, as if she were attending a formal dinner or something, with a black strapless dress and her hair done beautifully. She was older, but a very attractive woman and her confidence was tangible, as always. The only thing truly out of place, in my opinion, was the leather riding crop she was carrying.

And her husband, James, was dressed the opposite from how I'd ever seen him, let alone imagined him. He was wearing black women's stockings and leather high heels, with a garter belt of black lace. His soft cock hung down, but it was obvious he had no balls. His body was smooth and hairless where his scrotum should have been. He had clamps on his nipples, like alligator clips, and a chain ran loosely between them. Around his neck he wore a stainless steel choker.

"Lisa." The woman smiled and crossed the room, "How are you dear?"

"Hello Jim." My husband gave James a little nod and they spoke about something, but I was too busy staring at Clarice to notice.

"What are you doing here?" I didn't know what to say or think. This was the woman who'd suggested I castrate my husband. She was the one who'd gotten me into this mess.

"I'm one of the board members." Clarice smiled and she was enjoying my confusion, I could tell. "How do you like the club?"

"I don't understand." I looked past her at my husband. "Jack? What's going on?"

"Uh, well..." He smiled at me. "I have a confession to make."

"Oh, let me! I've been waiting so long." Clarice laughed lightly. "Jack was one of my lovers, dear. I'm sorry to have to tell you that, but it's true..."

"When?" I stared at my husband.

"After we were married...a few months." Jack cleared his throat.

"I'm afraid I was the reason for his lack of..." She glanced over her shoulder, "...interest? Or maybe just ability is a better word."

"Well, I think that was Roselyn, actually." James suggested with a smile.

"Who's Roselyn?" I blinked, trying to understand. I had more important questions in my head than that one, but that was the one that came out. I sat back down slowly.

"She's one of Clarice's girls..." My husband started saying.

"One of my little subbies. You met her once, I believe." Clarice laughed. "Once Jack discovered his Dominant side, well, there was just no going back, you see."

I didn't see. I didn't see at all. But I did finally remember Roselyn, the Hispanic girl I'd met briefly at Clarice's house. But I didn't she what she had to do with any of this.

"I was cheating on you." Jack admitted. "With Clarice, and another woman, a submissive."

"Learning the ropes." James added drolly.

"You cheated...on me?" I felt like I was going to be sick.

"I didn't think you'd like it..." Jack was trying to explain, "...like this sort of thing. I wanted to tell you, to show you but..."

"He was worried, Lisa." Clarice said seriously. "First because he had cheated on you, and more because he didn't want to stop. Not because he loved me, or even Roselyn, you're the only one he loves, but he was convinced you'd never understand and your husband..." Clarice smiled and touched my shoulder, "...he does enjoy this so much."

"You could have told me." I felt my eyes growing wet. "All you had to do was say something!"

"He did say something." Clarice said gently. "To me and, well I had an idea."

"An idea?" I stared at her.

"I suggested Jack might find a way to convince you that you needed punishment, so to speak. I knew right away you were submissive, but a little repressed I think. A little too upright, you might say." Clarice chuckled. "I think you would have resisted Jack if he'd tried to introduce you to this lifestyle."

"It's always best when someone comes willingly." James said. "Perhaps we should ask Theresa to join us?"

"Willingly? Is that what you call this? So Paul...he was in on it?" I was starting to put it together, I thought.

"Yeah, he...I met him a long time ago." My husband admitted.

"Who's Theresa?" I asked, feeling ever more confused and reacting slowly. This was all too much all at once.

"Doctor Lyons?" Clarice smiled. "You remember her, I'm sure."

"She's...here?" I stared at the woman.

"She's another one of the board members." James told me.

"Yes, she's here tonight, with her slave, Stacy." Clarice realized I didn't understand at all. "Nurse Ryan? She's Theresa's submissive."

"You were in on this? All of you?" I looked around the room. I felt as if my whole life had been a dream, an elaborate hoax. It hurt.

"Well, you needed a man." Clarice shrugged. "And Paul is a man, isn't he?" She sounded almost wistful. "I don't think any of us expected him to make you pregnant though."

"No, I don't think we did." My husband did frown at that, a little. "I never blamed you for that. I never blamed you for any of it."

"We just wanted you guilty and eager to please." Clarice was still touching me. "I do love you both so much and I just wanted to see you here, discovering what we have to offer."

"This is how you get members?" I almost laughed. It was unbelievable, all of this. "So you never meant anything about castrating Jack?"

"Castrating Jack?" Clarice laughed. "Good heavens no, my dear. I just wanted to get the idea in your head, and that was Jack's idea really."

I stared at my husband and he offered an ironic smile.

"You were always talking about Clarice." He shrugged. "Clarice this, Clarice that, whatever she said was gospel, so..." His eyes were filled with guilt. "I'm sorry, Lisa."

"So I mentioned castration." Clarice smiled at me. "Don't be too angry and don't be sad, it was a trick, yes. But we did it for you, dear. To bring you and your husband closer. Paul was happy to help, but of course we couldn't tell Angela, unfortunately. She is rather protective and she would have worried, I think."

"But...my baby..." I looked down, not knowing what I felt.

"That seems to have worked out especially well, don't you think?" James said, he was sitting on the bed now.

"Like I said, we didn't expect that, but once Paul found out well, it was just a matter of bringing you and Angela together at the right place and the right time." Clarice looked quite happy with herself.

"I wanted to tell you everything." My husband said, his voice filled with shame. "Months ago, but, I'm sorry...We had to keep going. For Angela."

"For Angela..." I squeezed my eyes shut.

"We needed to convince you to give up your child." Clarice said gently. "Your husband needed to convince you."

"You've saved her." James said, trying not to sound melodramatic. "She had so much fear and you've given her a reason to overcome it now. She'll have a child with her husband, one she can love and protect."

"You did that for her." Clarice nodded, lifting my chin. "You suffered for her, more than yourself. I know you're angry and confused, and I'm so sorry for that. We all are, but I hope you'll forgive us, Lisa. We all love you very much."

"I was dying inside." I looked at her, blinking back tears. "You should have told me."

"You were forgiven from the beginning, Lisa. Your husband never blamed you for any of it; in fact he's the one who needs your forgiveness. He's been waiting for seven months, worried and uncertain, dreading this day, but knowing it would come. He needs you now..."

My husband had come over to me, and now he knelt close as I sat there, struggling with my feelings. "I'm sorry, Lisa. I love you so much. Please forgive me, I only want you to be happy. I'll do anything to make it up to you, anything at all..."

I had suddenly found our positions reversed, and then I realized they'd been reversed all along. My husband had been the one suffering with the truth, knowing I would have to learn of this elaborate lie and uncertain of my reaction. He'd fought to hide his true feelings for me, trying to maintain his distance and I looked back over the months and recognized those moments when he'd failed. When he'd given me tenderness and love, for just a moment or two before catching himself. He'd never blamed me for anything, never been angry with me.

He's cheated on me though. Much more so than I had, and much sooner after our wedding. Within months it seemed, with Clarice and this other girl whom I didn't know. Because they'd been able to give him what I couldn't, not until now. I was remade by the experience, the hoax they'd played, so that I was the willing submissive that my husband required. And I'd suffered, yes, for my husband's purpose at first, and then later for Angela. I was giving up my child for a lie? That thought struck me hard and it seemed a cruel betrayal, far more so than anything else that had happened to me.

And now my husband was on his knees, begging forgiveness, yearning for my respect, just as I'd been doing for so long. Could I ever respect him again? Could I ever trust him, or Clarice, or anyone? I was suddenly the innocent and I wondered if my experience with guilt, imagined though it might have been, was going to be enough to guide me through the most difficult decisions of my life. Empathy was one thing, but where did the scales of justice truly balance?

"Anything?" I asked my husband softly.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I was huge, waddling through the kitchen a week away from my due date. I could barely sleep at night and I kept my husband up all hours, asking him to rub my legs, or massage my back, or just to talk to me. He was good about it, usually, and his sleepy complaints were good natured. Mostly because once I felt his hands on me, 9 months pregnant or not, I was instantly horny. It was like my sex drive had gone through the roof during this final month of my pregnancy.

Jack would hold me and kiss me and massage my breasts, which were swollen as well now, and already producing thin milky fluid. My breasts ached all the time and that was always good for me, being milked for lack of a better term. I could even talk Jack into nursing on my nipples occasionally, and that was almost enough to make me cum. The feel of his mouth on my breasts, sucking and nibbling gently while his fingers caressed my puffy sex...He brought me off quickly and I loved him for it.

"Here we are!" Angela was coming through the kitchen door, smiling and beautiful as ever. She'd cut her hair down to her shoulders, styling it with a French wave, and I gasped when I saw her.

"What did you do?" I let her embrace me, kissing me on the lips and I felt just the tip of her tongue teasing me.

"Do you like it?" She rolled her eyes upward as if she could see it. "I thought I'd try the mommy look, you know."

"Mmm..." I smiled. "I like it."

"Hey Angie." Jack walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "Have you lost weight?"

"Oh you!" Angela laughed and raised her fist.

"You look great, give me a kiss." Jack grinned and I watched as she gave my husband a whole lot more tongue than she'd given me.

"Break it up you two." I laughed. "Pregnant woman coming through." I pushed between them. "Where's Paul?"

"Right here..." Angela's husband answered, coming through the door.

"And there he is...Come here; give your Aunt Lisa a kiss, big boy!" I bent down, taking a little breath against the discomfort as Paul put his son, Paul Jr. on the floor. He was almost two now and he was finally learning to run farther than 5 or 6 feet without falling down.

I held my arms wide and he was smiling, running into my arms and falling forward at the last moment, convinced I'd catch him as I always did. I gave him a hug, kissing his cheeks and smelling his clean blonde hair. He was handsome as his father, but he had his mother's eyes, bright and blue and right then they were shining just for me.

"Hey, what about daddy?" Paul smiled down at me, bending over so I could kiss him, running my tongue across his lips and then giving him a little bite.

"Ow!" Paul gave me an injured look like I'd hurt him, but I hadn't. "What's that for?"

"For being you!" I laughed, turning my attention back to the boy in my arms.

"Think fast." My husband tossed Paul a beer and they went outside, into the backyard to start the grill and talk about whatever it was men talked about on a sunny summer afternoon.

"She's getting feisty..." Paul was saying and I could hear my husband laughing as the screen door swung closed behind them.

"He's so beautiful, isn't he?" I looked up at Angela and she was glowing with pride. "He's going to be dangerous when he grows up!" I laughed, letting the boy go so he could find the toys we kept for him in the living room.

"Like his dad, yeah." Angela agreed, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. She slipped her hand inside my blouse, pressing her palm to my stomach and the baby inside. "Very dangerous."

the end of Respect