All Comments on 'Retard Pt. 01'

It would be heartbreaking to live through that, almost not worth the powers he's beginning to discover.

I really like the twist on the origin of this story. I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

Please publish lots more

Can't wait to see more. Please continue with regular updates, I don't think anyone will complain if you use time stop powers IRL to speed up your writing so you can have an entire library done by the end of the year. Story a day sounds like a believeable speed, *sigh* if only. Oh well just more Reader problems :P

Like the story idea a lot but dislike the missing words a lot as well. You need to get an editor to clean up [;ease.

Definitely in need of an editor, especially for the technical side of things. Those minor errors really add up, and they're very distracting.

As for the story itself, it's interesting. Time control powers are nothing new - whether it's erotica or g-rated (Hiro Nakamura, anyone?) - but despite that, this still feels almost completely fresh. This chapter was something of a slow read, as if it unintentionally mirrored the protagonist's frame of mind. But even so, it was still quite engaging.

Get an editor and pick up the pacing, and you'll have the makings of an excellent story.

We look forward to seeing where this goes.

Do people like pathetic protagonists? Anybody can appreciate an underdog, but this is beyond trash...

I gave this a 5 for being original and something new to my jaded mind. The sex was hot in a nasty kind of way. Dont to carried away with the superpowers because the characters are what will keep this going. I look forward to more of this. Keep up the good work.

if they already know he didnt rape the girl and that she filed a false report of rape why is she not in jail for that?if she was arrested for that and she was to flip on his brother and her mom she might get less jail time and save her ass from being labeled a sex offender.1 other thing if he was moving in slow motion then would not everybody be moving in fast forward almost to the point were he would be unable to talk or hear them?simple physics according to newton?

I empathized with the main character's personal struggle. It made me feel frustrated just to read it. His family problems and the people involved could have been given more development time, but they were visceral and believable.

I really didn't like that he immediately decides to feel up his teacher when he figures out his powers; it felt out of character, especially with how well he treats Mary Jo and how patient and reasonable he is with himself and his personal situation of being "slowed" for years and years since his car accident.

It also seems like Mary Jo has a crush on him for no discernible reason that I can see. He's been a socially ostracized moron for eight years. It's no fault of his own, but you'd think they would have drifted apart at least somewhat, even if she is a very nice person. Or, rather, that she wouldn't necessarily be romantically interested, at least not right away.

Overall, I'm intrigued by the premise. If it's just wish fulfillment, and things don't really get too deep, that's fine, but this could be the start of an interesting story.

You disgrace humanity with this article you wrote about so called "retards". There are so many errors in human behavior in this that I can not count them all in order to bring to light the misconstrued facts that you have tried to lay out for us to see. I am only going to go over a few that really ticked me off. When a kid is 10 years old and on a sports team, the coach is not going to be an asshole to the kid and tell him when he puts on the uniform he must play. His teammates also will not be trying out for any pro scholarships meaning that they will not hate him for losing a game. After 10 year olds play a game of anything, all they care about are the oranges they get for playing and the ice cream they get for winning. Second, no brother, in any context or place in the world, is going to call their brother a retard when they are 10 years old to their face. They also will not leave them for dead basically while they take care of them. Third, a man being raped by a women is yes, uncommon, but it does happen way more often than you think. Usually the man is either A weak and destitute, like the main character, or B tied up in a way that they can not fight back. It is also not difficult to prove when there is a voice recording of the whole thing. EVEN MORE ASTOUNDING is the fact that the mother did not get arrested on charges of assist to rape as her name is mentioned as having a plan to rape the main character. Furthermore, no attorney hired to represent you is also going to call you a retard. Neither is the Psychologist trying to examine you. Either you have a gross misunderstanding of life in general or an extreme distrust of it. No matter the case, you should not be writing slanderous stories about kids with disabilities. This story had an interesting premise with the time control. If you were EVER going to write again, I suggest you get an editor as well as a new moral compass and write about the time control along with an innocence to it without giving the kid you are writing about every reason to commit suicide. My personal request, however, is that you do not write again for this site or ever again. This story never needed to be written and much less read by everyone who read it.

Sincerely,

The brother of a "retard"

Screw the other comments. I like the story. It's interesting. Keep writing and ignore the Bullshit.

1) I am a bit of a slow writer. I am 10% of the way into the next part. This is the weekend so expect progress.

2) Your comments and positive reviews really drive me to write more. Keep it up, this is food and wine for my soul.

3) I will request an editor for the next part (and work on part 3 while it is being edited expect delays and improved spelling, grammar and thought coherence)

4) Most of my writing is either requests or thought experiments. If you have something you want to read, *REQUEST IT*

5) This was a thought experiment. I was inspired by March 21st celebrations seeking to ban the word retarded, even from situations where it was appropriate, (Such a slowing an engine.) This made me wonder what if there a person who wasn't handicapped but was just slow, which led me to think of the time stop type of story and what if it wasn't binary but analog, and what if the person who could control it was stuck in a slow mode.

I enjoyed the story and look forward to reading more. Btw, does the main character still age when he uses his powers, or does that halt too? And how does one have sex when stopping time? Just a thought.

Okay, the story at the beginning was making me sad... But now... AHAHA this is going to be exciting!!! I can't wait for your next update!

Keep it up, Though retard is an imcredibly ugly word in the UK i'm not that much caring because its still an awesome story

JC

It is very good and would love to read more.

I found it... I read this once and forgot what it was called could only remember "for revenge" ... search works fyi....

So, second read though, still excited about the next chapter and I hope it is soon.

Thanks

So they can't prove rape against a male.

False reporting: yes

Conspiracy: yes

And those are enough probable cause for a search warrant, then they find the meth.

Multiple felonies, years.