All Comments on 'Returning Home Ch. 03'

Thank you for reading all the way to the end and commenting.

I'm not quite sure if you think 'calling it' was a positive or a negative, but seeing as how Jim's 'suicide by biker' was foreshadowed throughout, I'm guessing it was a good thing.

heres the problem you didnt give this guy a reason to want to die you may say his aunts death and having a blown up body were the reasons but you only gave him injuries you didnt make them mean anything and the love story fell flat you should have gotten rid of that completely and his rage at the college doest make sense either do to the upstanding soldier he was what you decided was to have the perfect character DO stuff without justification go back and look at this story its a good story but its an inexperienced story people will love it and people are sucking your cock over it but you need to take a look at it and see where you can make it better if you can't do that then your story-telling abilities will never evolve

I appreciate your feedback and your taking the time to read the story. I'm afraid we're going to have to disagree about dispositions and reactions of characters, namely Jim.

The three things most important to Jim were taken away from him in horrific fashion.

His parents were killed, leaving him without the man he most admired in the world while he was a teenager. The love of his life died of cancer and lied to him about it. The military career that he had planned on most of his life and shaped how he saw himself was taken from him, leaving him more injured emotionally then physically.

If you don't feel that his reaction was plausible, I respect your opinion. Mine is different, but different points of view make life interesting.

Enjoy your mother's day.

you fucked up then and thanks for telling me to enjoy my mothers day mine is dead but hey im a stranger so who the fuck really cares

Very well written. Admired your work. Very unexpected....but enjoyed it till the end.

i really enjoyed this series it was truly moving.

I look froward to reading more of your work.

Damn all useless wars, both foreign and at home. This was a very painful story, and necessary. Thank you for writing it so well. 5 *.

Thank you Bebop3, for this poignant, yet agonizing story of this broken man that loses or runs away from everyone that loves him. A great piece of writing.

Thank you for reading the story and for your insightful comments.

Jim may have been the catalyst for the action in the story, but in my mind the hero was Ann. Jim may have had some positive qualities, but he was selfish, myopic and unyielding.

I'm not sure where the line in the sand is between cliché and standard operating procedure. If you served with a trained military sniper and don't avail yourself of his services in a situation like this, wouldn't that be a little odd? Jim wanted to have a one on one showdown with Liam. Jeremy's sole role was to ensure that no one interfered.

I completely understand how there are multiple reasonable interpretations of any story, and I respect yours. I appreciate your investing the time in reading and commenting.

Have a great week.

Jim was a deep, emotive and well written character with all the complex strengths, principles, beliefs and human flaws to make an empathetic protagonist. I loved it, especially with the poignant nod to the classics. "With your shield or on it and you chose on it."

Excellent work. 5*

I’m hooked please finish and quick I need to know what happens to that bitch Liam!

Excellent ending, hope you can write more.

You should consider getting this published, yes, you would probably have to drop the incest angle and maybe tone down the sex. But this is a great story and well worthy of being published in a magazine or book of short stories.

of compelling writing! Shame you put this in the incest category, not much in the way of comments for a masterpiece like this. If this was in Loving Wives or Romance you would have 200 comments and tens of thousands of views. The incest was "minor" and credible, but the category keeps most away. Will be reviewing your portfolio in depth now. Pls keep writing and look forward to more from you.

I really enjoyed the story. You showed how hurt veterans of wars are, the PTSD, and also showed the real stupidity and lack of understanding or caring that civilians have for veterans of war.

I would give this story that many if I could it was that good

pile of shit

Loved it

Wonderful story. Thank you so much for it. Five stars ain't enough.

Anon of 10.11.18: Your a Fucking coward! Sign your name you P.O.S.

too bad the good guy has to die why didn't you have him clean up the bad ones and go on to have a good life instead you put him in the ground

Compelling story from beginning to end.

Glad you stayed true rather than degrading it with 'happy ever after'.

Very good 👍. I was compelled to read straight through, beginning to end. Couldn't put it down.

Please, keep writing these

First two of these I really got into - this one fell flat for some reason, and I think on reflection it was actually Jim's death. Not for sentimental reasons but he really is the plot, and once he was removed all the intensity just poofed away, the rest was just a somewhat bland epilogue. It was also a rather overly neat resolution for him - while I can see his depression & fixation on going out like that, he was also a trained survivor with a local support network. And on top of he obviously loves Ann enough to be desperately guilty, so how come he doesn't love her enough to try and fix *everything*? the numbers don't quite add up somehow. Having him just being able to do something right he could really feel good about even if he had to pay in some other nonlethal way would really have made it, I feel.

Powerful stuff though, thanks for writing.

***Spoiler Alert*** I talk about the ending, so beware.

I am glad I discovered this one. It was excellently written with characters that had exceptional, though often hidden, strengths and yet showed debilitating weaknesses as well. This offered a glimpse into the walking wounded that that get up, get moving, and get on with the day. I'll admit to guessing Jeremy and Ann but I whiffed on Jim's ending, big time. It was right but I'm still a bit pissy about it. Very well done.

Almost a 5. Well written and well developed characters with a gripping plot.

The longer this series ran, unfortunately, the flatter the emotion came across.

The ending was more like a coat of mud.

Ann is still punishing herself still.

Thanks for the tale.

For all it took to write this poignant and beautiful and heart rending series. I cried, a lot and I still couldn't stop reading. So again, thank you for sharing your art.

5*

If you reflect on this for a moment You can say that about many of those we have around us.

Jim gave some to his country; he gave his all to Ann

think I will cry a bit for them all and myself

One long guy punch. Well done

One long gut punch

Good read, well written and keeps your attention

Life sure messes with us sometimes. Find love and live then the love is gone and you die. Very good story. Keep writing.

You did well on both the physical injuries and the marks hard combat can leave on the psyche, soldiers always have an ugly place, it's always there. Thank you

Good characterization of the impact on those of us who live or lived in a world of violence and death. It never leaves you and nobody who hasn’t lived it will ever understand. Good job.

Enjoyed the first too chapters, but not this one. It served little purpose and pointed out Ann was bitch throughout the story.

Very well done. The writing is excellent. The story pulled me in and touched me, not only as a veteran, but as a human. Thank you for writing it.

A wonderful story of love and courage his and hers.

You did a good job.

Really liked the story from start to finish. 5*

there is not enough stars. I to am a war vet. and I was able to feel the hurt and pain in the story. god bless you.

A really thought provoking story 5 stars well written with great characters.

Many unhappy people. Nobody ever said it would be easy. Veterans have a tough deal. You don't know what they have seen and what people have tried to do to them. You do not have to get hurt to be scarred. During Vietnam they would come home and I was in college. Some were OK and some were not. 50 years later they still have issues. Many of the ones who were most affected long dead.

One of the very best stories on this site, overblown over the top and fantastic

What an incredible story. I'd love to give the author many more stars than 5 so how about 5 BIG FAT FUCKING SHINY PURPLE MILITARY STARS! Thanks to a very highly regarded Author, Bebop3, Sir, You are second to none! Thank you for sharing all your stories with another Brother in Arms!

Fantastic story!!! One of the best ever...

Great piece of writing! You sob you brought out tears I never shed. Memorys of coming home..... nuff said.

Five stars.

This is a beautiful piece of writing. I am laying in bed with tears running down my face. Thank you for sharing.

Always the best. Always a good read. Definitely a five star 🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟

Reading some of the comments I don't think my input is really needed here, well, if ever. I really do appreciate the development of Ann's character during the last part of the story,

Thanks I really enjoyed this, it is quite brilliant.

Brought back a lot of memories of my own personal experiences. I returned to the US from SEA in civilian clothes, we were told to wear them as cretins that lived in San Francisco weren't exactly friendly to us US military types. I stayed in for a full career, with my last assignment in the Persian Gulf during the first Gulf War, or SWA. When we returned to the accolades and parades, I thought back 20 years to my return from SEA, and realized how shallow and thoughtless the US population is.

Great story and character development.

A very moving story - thank you! The song reference fit the story well.

somewhere east of Omaha

Damn. What a ride. 5/5. Felt like I was reading a Tarantino transcript at times. All these broken, fucked up characters in one way or the other, wondering where life went and where it all went to hell. And not even a brimstone and fire type of hell, but a hell of complacency. This was the first story of yours I've read. If the rest of them are even half as good, I'm going to have fun reading them.

I think, as the captain said to Cool Hand Luke, What we've got here is failure to communicate". Tragedy.

LMJ

I cried

Revenge only knows losers.

A really good story, I said it last part, this could be a good TV mini series.

All 3 chapters made a well written story. Thank you

I cried too. Superb story. Thank you!

very well told. I would rather Jim had survived and after aa lot of emotional turmoil he and Annloivedn happily ever after.

5 star or more. just wish Jim survived the knifing, but your ending is okay too.

Not the ending I had hoped for but beautiful nonetheless. A most appreciated tear jerker; well actually a little more than more one jerk. I was so glad that Ann and Jeremy finally connected. Oh incidentally, you are now listed as on of my favorite authors.

Outstanding job. Yeah there were a few typos, yadda yadda. I didn't care, and I fix typos for a living. Again, very gripping and psychologically realistic. Many thanks. You should be proud.