Reversals Ch. 08

"This needs to be scheduled soon, Julia," Pamala said. "We're here to help you. Experience has taught us that delays won't help you get the positive results that AGen can deliver for you. Commitment is the best approach."

"I understand," Julia said.

Pamala turned her head slightly away from the camera, her attention drawn away to something to the side of her, off camera. Julia could hear the indiscernible voices in the background again. Did one of the voices belong to Dr. Joyce?

"A courier will deliver a package to you, at your office, with some more details about the program, including contact information to setup the initial exam. I hope to hear from you soon," Pamala said. She then flashed a tense smile at Julia, betraying some irritation then pushed away from the table and walked away.

Thinking the conference was finally over, Julia was about to drop the connection when she saw Dr. Joyce walking back into view. Hands clasped behind her back, Dr. Joyce leaned over the chair and table like a cobra until her face was directly in front of the camera, filling the screen.

"Ms. Grant?"

Julia just stared at Dr. Joyce, not wanting to acknowledge her, hoping she'd just leave and drop the video conference. She didn't.

"Ms. Grant?"

"Yes?" Julia responded reluctantly.

"Don't disappoint us, Ms. Grant". The connection dropped immediately after the admonition. Julia felt a shiver run up her spine. She was frightened by it. What had she gotten herself into?

With the consultation over, Samantha swiveled her chair towards Julia with questioning eyes, waiting on her to break the silence, hoping that she was ready to move forward with Eric's transformation.

But, Julia seemed to be almost in a state of shock instead, her eyes, opened wider than normal, were still locked on the tablet they'd been using for the conference.

Samantha reached out and gently touched Julia's hand in a show of support and compassion. It seemed to break Julia out of the trance as she jerked slightly from the touch and slowly turned to face her. Samantha smiled ever so gently towards Julia, hoping to settle her and soften the mood.

"So, what do you think?" Samantha asked, almost in a whisper.

Julia took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Honestly, Dr. Joyce scares me Sam. And, it's a lot to take in," she said. "I mean, up to now, AGen was just talk. I'm not sure I truly believed it was even possible. Not really. Not until just now," Julia admitted, as a subtle, brooding pout appeared as she considered the harsh reality of the situation. "If I actually did this to Eric it really would irrevocably change things between us. There'd be no going back. Not ever."

"Probably not," Samantha said softly, shrugging. "The bigger question is if he'd do it. Can you talk him into it? Maybe make him do it?" Samantha asked, struggling to keep her excitement at the idea under control. She didn't want to appear to thrilled at the prospect, not yet anyway.

"Maybe," Julia said. She fixated on Samantha's painting, the woman warrior, to draw some resolve as she talked. "If you told me, a week ago, that I'd be considering put breasts on my husband I'd have thought you were crazy or something. Everything has been moving so fast," she said as she stared at the painting. "Ever since I discovered Eric's lies, all those pictures from that game... So much has changed," she said. "Even me," she added under her breath.

Samantha furrowed her brow, unsure of her beautiful friend's feelings and intentions. She seemed to be wavering. "Is that a yes then? You can make him do it?" she asked cautiously.

Julia changed her focus from the painting to Samantha. "You've been so tied up with the restructure we haven't had a chance to talk," Julia said. "I took control, Sam," she said with a hint of pride. "I told Eric that our marriage was going to be female lead from now on."

Samantha's mouth gaped open. "Julia, that's fantastic! I can't tell you how happy that makes me."

Julia nodded with a self satisfying smile but it was quickly replaced by the earlier brooding pout again.

Samantha reached her hand out and lightly touched Julia's forearm. "Everything okay?" she asked concerned.

Julia flashed a quick smile to Samantha then just as quickly returned to her pouty demeanor. "It's just that it's such a permanent thing," Julia said. "Eric with boobs for the rest of his life? Lactating?!" Julia shook her head. "I've been pretty hard on him for the last few days, training him for his new job as our homemaker-"

"Wait a second!," Samantha interrupted. "His new job is being your homemaker!?"

Julia nodded. "I even have him hand washing my panties today," she said.

"Oh, that's just delicious," Samantha said gleefully. "You go girl!"

Julia couldn't help but smile at the praise but she was still feeling too uneasy to really enjoy it.

"If you don't mind me saying, from everything you've told me about Eric, he should feel grateful to scrub your panties," Samantha said. "What you're doing with Eric is wonderful! No question about that," Samantha declared firmly.

"Then why do I feel so... guilty all of a sudden?" Julia asked sullenly.

"Well, anytime we have major changes in our lives we can feel uncertainty or get anxious," Samantha suggested. "Even good changes can be stressful and upset us."

"Maybe, but..." Julia grimaced and shook her head. "I can't help wondering about what I'm doing. I mean, I just had a very serious talk with some type of medical group about putting breasts, female breasts, on my husband!" she blurted out.

Samantha smiled uncomfortably at her distraught friend then got up and gently closed the door of the office before returning to her chair. "Just thought we should have some privacy," she said delicately.

Julia shook her head slowly, troubled. "What am I doing, Sam?" she asked, staring at her for an answer.

Samantha looked at Julia with soft eyes and a calming smile as she reached out and gently grasped her friend's hand. Their fingers looked so beautiful together, the bright color of their nails intertwining like art work. The beauty of two womyn together was awe inspiring, Samantha thought. It was totally clear, to her, that they belonged together. "It's okay, Julia," she said reassuringly.

But everything wasn't okay, Samantha realized. So many months of work on Julia might be on the line, all the groundwork she'd laid, all the articles she'd sent, all the discussions, all the efforts to undermine Julia's marriage with Eric was all at risk. If Julia was distraught enough over AGen she might let up on Eric, maybe even decide to dissolve her FLM.

She leaned in towards Julia. "Trust me when I tell you, everything you've done is fine," Samantha said with sincerity. "And there's nothing wrong with considering AGen either, Honey." Her tone and manner were calm and supportive despite the growing fear that she could lose Julia. It was something that couldn't be allowed to happen, it was simply intolerable.

Samantha sensed a deep connection to Julia, certainly physical, but more than that too. There was chemistry there, Samantha was sure of it. Nothing was going to stop her from having Julia, certainly not some weak male that Julia had mistakenly married. All those years of indoctrination by the patriarchy had left her understandably confused. She needed help and support. Eric, on the other hand, was an obstacle. He needed to be moved out of the way or marginalized to irrelevance. Watching Julia put him under her thumb and then watching her put boobs on him would be something to savor.

Julia was shaking her head, lost in thought, clearly still upset with the meeting with Dr. Joyce and Pamala.

"I understand your concerns," Samantha said. "Those womyn were pretty intense, even to me. But don't let it upset you. I think they're just... very committed. They take it all very seriously."

"They certainly do," Julia said, nodding in agreement.

Samantha regarded Julia closely. She wanted to move cautiously to rebuild her confidence, convince her, womon to womon, that she belonged to the superior sex and that Eric should be grateful to have her lead him, even more grateful if she made him suckle her future daughters. The more men put in their place the better the world would be.

"It's a different age, Julia," Samantha said gently. "We're not bound by the old rules or beliefs anymore. Womyn are finally breaking away from the chains that men have put on us for centuries. We're taking our power back, assuming our natural roles as leaders. It's something to be embraced," she said. "Don't you believe the world would be a better place if womyn were in charge of it all?"

Julia shrugged as she considered it. "I don't know. It's not like all the world's problems would get solved overnight or anything. But, I think maybe it would get better, with the right women. I guess so. Yes," she finally concluded, nodding her head.

"Of course, it would," Samantha said. "Oh, I'm sure there's some genuinely good men out there but they seem so few and far between. All that testosterone... Maybe in ancient times we needed all that aggression and competition but it's archaic now. Too often males can't control it, makes them act like fools or worse. Always competing with each other. Always fighting to be king of the hill. Those men, the not so good ones, and that's most of them, actually need a strong womon leading them. It's good for them. They need us even if they don't want to accept the truth of it. And, from everything you've told me about Eric, I'm sorry to say, he doesn't really sound like one of the good ones."

Julia shook her head subtly. "No," Julia admitted. "At one time, I thought he was a better type of man," Julia said wistfully. "But he really has let me down, like every other man I've ever been with," she added with exasperation, her face tightening with disappointment, frustration and anger.

It was a perfect opportunity to remind Julia of Eric's transgressions, Samantha thought, to reignite her anger and quench whatever sympathies she had towards him. "Don't forget, he's the man that expected you to do all the cooking and cleaning even though he was sitting at home all day," Samantha said. "He expected you to earn all the money and be his maid too!"

Julia grimaced as she remembered back to when Eric had first lost his job, her pretty, red lips contorting from the memories. Samantha had been the one to help her understand that he needed to pitch in with the housework, that it wasn't just 'womyn's work'. Samantha had really helped her challenge the gender role expectations she'd been taught, helped her see how archaic they were.

"And didn't you say Eric had started drinking?" Samantha asked, rubbing more salt in the wound, already knowing the answer.

Julia nodded slowly, the grimace still on her face. "Men and alcohol don't mix well together," Julia said as her frustrations and anger grew. She thought back to some of the monsters she had dated before Eric who would get drunk and turn violent.

Samantha arched her eyebrows at Julia's comment, it made her wonder if there was more history there she wasn't aware of, something else to leverage. "You have to wonder where Eric is headed with all his drinking," Samantha said. "I mean, without you there to guide him, where would he end up?" she asked. "Another drunk looking for answers in the bottom of a bottle? Something worse perhaps?"

Julia shrugged. "Hard to say for sure," Julia intoned, the words sounding hollow and detached as she distanced herself from old wounds.

"True. Alcohol abuse does strange things to people. Sometimes terrible things," Samantha suggested. "When you think about it, he's very fortunate that you took over the marriage. You put an end to his drinking. You can give him a better future," she urged with what sincerity she could muster.

Julia nodded.

"Didn't you say that it was like he'd regressed to childhood after losing his job? That he wanted you to be his mommy?"

Julia nodded.

"He stopped looking for work," Samantha began, "because he got addicted to a computer game and he lied to you about it so you'd keep working to support his habits?"

Julia nodded as she dug her nails into her palm, hoping the pain would distract her from her anger.

"Seems to me you did the only thing you could with starting the FLM, Honey," Samantha said earnestly. "You have a man that lost his identity when he lost his job and regressed, became more like a child. He took advantage of you, lied to you, expected you to support him and care for your home while he sat back playing games and drinking beer all the time." Samantha's indictment was recited with fervor, she wanted to build a sense of righteous indignation in Julia, even zealotry. "Everything you've done is right and proper. With a man like that, you need to be in total control. For that matter, even if he doesn't realize it, even if he resists you, he needs you in control too," she asserted, pointing her finger at Julia to reinforce the point.

Julia sat back in her chair with fury in her eyes. "You're right," she said, lifting her hands and dropping them in resignation. "You're right." The sense of empowerment, that was becoming evermore familiar, began flowing through her again.

Samantha smiled, nodding her head in agreement. "The way I see it, we're entering a new age. Men had their turn to lead and the world is a total mess. It's a time for womyn to lead and a time for men to follow us into a better future. It's our turn. And some men, like Eric, are better suited for taking on the traditional role that womyn were assigned, for centuries, by men. Having him develop breasts to nourish a child only makes sense at that point," she said matter-of-factly. "If he's going to be a homemaker and caretaker for children, for infants, he needs breasts for that. He can't properly suckle a child otherwise."

Julia nodded with genuine interest. As usual, Samantha was opening her mind to new, exciting, possibilities.

"He might find breasts dramatic at first, maybe even distressing," Samantha said. "Since AGen isn't common yet, that's probably a normal reaction. You might be feeling some of that too. But science and technology has made it possible to transcend old, traditional ideas about gender. Those old ideas are archaic now, they no longer apply in the modern world we live in. Besides, they come from a patriarchal mindset intent on keeping womyn barefoot and pregnant. The same mindset which devalues and demeans womyn," Samantha's said with fervor. "It's not valid and it simply must be challenged!"

Julia nodded, taking it in, welcoming the bold statements, her sense of pride at being a strong, independent woman building as Samantha spoke.

"You can make a very powerful and positive statement, Julia. A man developing breasts so he can breastfeed his wife's daughter? It's a tremendously powerful validation for womonkind," she said with enthusiasm. "And, it would be something Eric could take great pride in too. Something that would prove he'd evolved and matured as a person, as a human being. That's not just talking about fairness and equality, it's making it real, in a committed, permanent way for everybody to see. You can make that happen for him. It's a great opportunity for both of you," Samantha said with conviction.

Julia considered it, nodding her head. "Maybe you're right," she said slowly. "I... hadn't really looked at it that way but I think you're right."

"It's understandable. There's a lot to take in and think about," Samantha said. "Someday I think it'll be considered normal, maybe even mainstream. Truly, if I could, I'd put breasts on every man in the world. Maybe make some of them more caring people." Samantha shrugged with indifference. "If nothing else, if men had to struggle with boobs, I bet we'd get more comfortable bras!"

The women shared a laugh as Samantha pinched her bra straps giving them a couple upward tugs while pretending to be in distress. She adjusted the band quickly afterwards, having tugged a bit too hard in her mock display and the women laughed again at the silliness of it all.

Still laughing, Julia imagined what Eric might look like doing the same thing, standing in front of a mirror in an underwire bra, the cups bulging over to contain his breasts as he struggled with the straps and band trying to make himself comfortable. As she thought about it, she realized she really could look at the idea of Eric with breasts in two different ways - the old way that made it wrong because of strict gender roles and stereotypes, or a modern way oriented on needs, equality and fairness. If science could overcome the limitation for men then why not? Why shouldn't he have boobs? Just because she developed breasts in adolescence didn't mean he couldn't now.

Julia was feeling better, stronger, more convinced than ever that she was on the right path with Eric. Samantha's insights had been invaluable, as usual. "I'm going to do it," Julia said firmly. "I'm not sure how yet exactly but I am going to put breasts on Eric. He's going to have them and I'm going to watch him suckle my baby someday." Julia looked determined, holding her head high as she sat upright in the chair, like she was ready to do battle. "I'll tell you something else, I think your also maybe right about the patriarchal mindset. It's always been there. I think maybe it's clouded my thinking a lot over the years."

Samantha was brimming with so much excitement she was practically shaking. Julia was recommitted, back on plan, evolving, and no longer wasting her sympathies on Eric. He was going to be subordinated, feminized and moved out of her way. Maybe, ultimately, losing some of his maleness might even be good for him she rationalized, not that she really cared. She wanted him out of the way and Julia was going to do it.

"Don't let up on him, Julia," Samantha urged.

Julia nodded knowingly.

"For awhile, at least, you're going to have to be very firm with him, more than you've been already I suspect," Samantha said.

"I know," Julia said, her pretty red lips twisting into a sinister looking half-smile. "I've thought about that very thing before," Julia said. "I have some ideas."

"You're probably going to have to make him more...," Samantha searched for the proper word, "submissive," she said. "Maybe a lot more submissive before he agrees to AGen."

"Yes, I think you're right." Julia's smile broadened a bit as she stared off into space considering what she might do to Eric. For his own good, she was going to need to break him, destroy his male ego. She intended to have some naughty fun at his expense.

"I think I have a few articles on how to retrain a male, reprogram him. I'll send them to you," Samantha said.

Julia looked back towards Samantha with relief, the burden of worry having been lifted. "Thanks Sam, I'll be happy to take whatever you have," Julia said as lightly as if they'd been discussing sales figures. "Even if it's a little over the top, please don't hesitate sending it."

"Absolutely, I will."

"Good, I want everything I can get."

"Hey, know what?" Samantha said changing the tone. "They're still working on your new office and I have to get all your paperwork submitted today before everything is official. Why don't you head home early."

Julia nodded. "All things considered, I think that's a great suggestion," she said with a smile. "It's been a trying afternoon. Lunch tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," Samantha said with a broad smile.

"Great," Julia said as she stood up to leave. "I'll look forward to it." She turned to go but before taking a single step she turned back towards Samantha. "Thanks Sam," she said with affection. "You really helped me see the truth of my situation with Eric. You really are a great friend."