All Comments on 'Rhythm and the Blue Line Ch. 12'

i very much enjoyed Rhythm and the Blue Line and am sorry to see it end . I am so happy the two of them finally came around and worked things out . Great story as always looking forward to your next offering . thank you so much for posting

I'm glad they're together, but I'm kind of disappointed in the whole story, it just didn't feel right for some reason.

Epilogue?... Please!!! ... A year later with a beard and maybe a ring?

I liked it. Maybe not a favorite of mine, but it was good. I loved the Terminator reference though!

As usual, you have written a great story, However, I would have liked the issue with her father resolved. To me that was just as much part of the story as the love affair itself. The commenter who asked for an epilogue may have hit the nail on the head - some aspects might need to be tied up. Nevertheless, thanks for a wonderful story.

Never thought I would say this about your story, but it isn't finished. We can speculate but why? Did they work out their schedules, did Ryan make peace with her family, did they break up, did they get married, is Brody able to play, did they have children, if so how did they juggle their careers?????

All valid unanswered points.

Why???

This was one of those stories that the was very true to life. The misunderstandings and lack of communication or rather miscommunication was very lifelike. I enjoyed reading it and will miss Ryan and Brody. An epilogue would be nice just to see how they are doing and for some closure with Ryan's family. Although as in real life I don't see her father changing his attitude toward Ryan, a leopard never changes its spots.

As I was reading and got to the part when she tosses the purple rabbit on the bed, my mind immediately thought vibrator! I forgot all about Brody's gift of a stuffed animal. And for me that just made the scene that much more enjoyable. :)

The dialog between the characters was perfect. Their personalities come through and it makes me feel like an eavesdropper listening in on a conversation between friends. Thanks for another 5 star story! It's always sad to say good bye to friends even imaginary ones.

~S

Well, you said this is the last chapter and that leaves me with a sense of the story being unfinished. Yes, I know they seem to be on the right track and they exchanged "I love yous" at the appropriate time and they have agreed to live together, but........ The story cries out for a sequel and some resolution of Ryan's family issues, at least as best they can be resolved.

I guess we get used to stories from you and other masters (mistresses?) of the genre that involve more emotion expressed and the story wrapped up in a nice neat bow, which you obviously chose not to do here. I can see where you chose more restrained words and phrases to express their feelings in many places in the story, which left the characters somewhat subdued as I vicariously watched them through the narrative. There just didn't seem to be that spark that a first true romance is all about, that sky is bluer, the colors are brighter, the birds song is happier kind of experience, which is of course the reality because of the chemical changes in our brains. Maybe it just took these two so long to decide they loved each other that they bypassed the infatuation and lust stage and that is a tragedy because it is such a wonderful time in the relationship. Sometimes it is an illusion, but what a hell of a ride it is while it is happening.

I guess it sounds like I am criticizing again and I don't mean to do that. Your writing, your dialogue is excellent and you draw good characters, it just seems like maybe you couldn't get really into this story for whatever reasons and that is our loss. Brody and Ryan may be the most challenging characters I have read from you thus far and they need (IMHO) to be explored further.

this is nice but as some others i have to agree that it doesn't feel 100% finished. yes they made up and made plans. but i missed the interaction you normally have with the new girl on the team and the other wives/girlfriends of the team. her family issues are far from solved and the one with her brother. it kinda leaves me hanging a bit :(

its a great story, your a great writer. all stories do not have to be finished to answer every plot line, but so many people seem to enjoy that. thanks and i look forward to more

I love your writing, but this time, you kinda rushed the ending and it left it open-ended. How about an epilogue to give us a chance to find out where they went from where they left off? That would be so cool!

you still spelt 'alright' wrong. Its 'alright' not 'all right'.

as i pointed out in my comment on the previous chapter, (i'm the anon who called it a depression buster) for it to have ended just one chapter after the fight, the ending would have to be rushed.

Glad to see that you were able to complete the story. I did enjoy it except for the long gap between chapters. Hope that you keep publishing on Lit and not just the hockey stories. Looking forward to the next one.

I guess, you know, the story changed directions after the 8th chapter, when you took the long break. Till the 8th chapter everything moved pretty slowly, after it everything was pretty rushed.

I mean, chapters 1-8 have a really slow build up. There are introductions to and descriptions of each of their backgrounds, personalities and issues. There are a lot of interactions between the characters and i don't mean just brody and ryan. There's even some confrontations which move the story along.

In the last four chapters, there are mostly just confrontations. The descriptions nearly stop. I mean, you're a pretty descriptive writer. So do the interactions There's hardly any talk of nate or mitch and they're supposed to be on their

1St tour. Mark, who introduced them is hardly mentioned. The only people who are mentioned are all somehow related to the plotline. Do you seriously mean to say that it just took one shouting match with her dad to get over years worth of misery and insecurities? If not, why are none of these mentioned in the last chapter? Chapters 9-12 are almost all plot; The showdown with the dad, the concussion, the tour, the big tour and fight, and the 'i love you's (which seem to be just there because the story's to long to go without one). Even the sex scenes seem plot related: the rockstar fantasy and brody's version of it.

I guess you just wanted to get this story over with and just wrote your general outline without adding any of the 'embellishments'. I'm just disappointed it ended this way; the beginning was so promising. Anyway, thanks for finishing the story and not leaving us hanging. I think you can think about getting back to this story and re-writing bits of it when you're between projects and not under pressure. You're still my favourite writer on this site. :)

Feels rushed after all this time. What about her parents, nothing got resolved. Did enjoy though

I agree with the others ... this seemed to rush to the end and then left us hanging without the fully expected ending ... so, I agree, an epilogue seems to be the order of the day ...

And like the others ... I still enjoy your romance stories ... I've sometimes wondered what a story would be like if you and MugsyB would alternate writing chapters ... one of you write the even numbered chapters and the other the odd numbered chapters. Have you ever thought of trying something like that ... without a full outline, so you are each developing plot as you go ... it might be interesting to see where you take each other with a project like that. Maybe as writers that wouldn't work for you ... but I've still wondered what the story might be like. :-)

I think this ending suited these characters very well. They did this song and dance around each other for so long, that rushing into anything more than what you wrote here would feel disingenuous. So, good job.

The thing with relationships - be it lover, friend or family - is that it's never cut and dry. You are never 'done' with a relationship. It can't be fixed up, polished and tied with a cute little bow, never to be addressed or made complicated again. This is probably the most realistic romance I've ever read. Was it always easy to read the fights and wait patiently (or not so patiently) for the two leads to admit their feelings for each other? Hell no. It's also not easy to live through fights or deal with the emotional backlash of a new relationship. You made us all care (well, I don't speak for everyone though...) so much about the characters that we wanted desperately to see them resolve all their issues. But that wouldn't have been true to the story you'd written all along. You started with real people and you've finished with them. They've taken huge steps in their relationship and I'm satisfied knowing that they're headed in the right direction. That's not to say I wouldn't love to see more but this story, and this story-line? To me, it's complete.

Thank you for all the work you put into this and I look forward to whatever you next come up with.

...but not the end. Ryan and Brody have met in the middle, professed their love, and made plans to move on together. There are a few loose ends: what will Ryan's parents think of this development?

PL, your characterizations are so life-like - I forget that this is fiction. I have really enjoyed this series. Bravo!

kind of a rush ending to a goooood story. still a five though...thanks...

Good chapter, but completely shortchanged compared to the rest of the story. Ryan's parents provided one of the main plot lines in the story, and it was as if they suddenly didn't exist. Her father gave her the motivation as to why she hated the sports vs. music priority, which was a pushed button during her fight with Brody. That definitely needs some closure, especially since Evan is now in the crossfire.

I have loved all these stories. Although, as a red-blooded Canadian male. I wish the male lead were on a Canadian team), I will agree with some of the others that the story was too short......

Maybe Ryan's parents and she don't get back together until the first grandchild shows up, if then. In my own family, and I'll wager in most of the commentators' families as well, there are, or were, unresolved issues that lasted for years. Herself and her uncle didn't mend a torn relationship for over 30 years, but when they did it was a wonderful thing, and gave our daughters a new uncle and aunt to love. So hang tight, fans. SA Penn Lady may or may not tell the story, or tell it that way. But while we're waiting maybe so we should mend a few relationships of our own?

I know some of the commenters are trying to defend the ending by saying in real life not everything gets resolved, but here's the thing: if you are going to introduce a plot point like Ryan's family, it is lazy storytelling to drop that plot halfway through the story. If this were a film or novel, it would be considered a major plot hole. I consider PennLady to be a talented writer, which is why I am so disappointed in how this story was resolved.

In following this series from the start to the 'final' installment, an ending such as this is very fitting for the lead characters. Their entire relationship went back and forth--from communication to zero communication. Lust to love, bickering to brushing things unde the rug. This is a very realistic approach and something that many can relate to, especially when in the early stages of a relationship. And god willing--in a relationship for some time. To see a story take the reader on a path to end this way is actually quite nice because it is rare. It is not very often where the conclusion is left with questions unanswered. But is it really that much? While many want to have an ending where everything is wrapped perfectly and tied with a big red bow, life doesn't always work that way.

If we are going to break apart a story because certain parts (I.e. parental conflict, rushed outcomes, etc.) don't come together, let's really get to the nitty gritty bit of things. Take a step back and look at your own personal relationships: is everything resolved? When talking out conflicts, do you find that some things are left unsaid?

Relationships are never an easy subject to tackle, and an ending if written any other way would almost seem off-base and even more rushed for the lead characters. Sure, I would like to know how the lead finds some kind of resolve with her family, however that could take years if not a lifetime. However, for the actual relationship--it's a work in progress and will take time to mature.

As always, thank you PL for sharing this piece.

I don't understand all the criticism.

Considering the storyline, this one has a perfect end. Ryan and Brody are together and it's implied they'll remain together, they even will start living together when this tour is over, what other wrap up is necessary?

Brody's career going back to track? It's more than implied that he's recovering just fine. Ryan's career becoming successful? It's happening. They managing the relationship? There's no doubt about it.

The only thing that is not happening is Ryan's parents changing their minds, but I personally think it would be weird if they did. At most, they'll regret losing their daughter in the future, but it's not like they will ever be very close to her, or vice-versa. This approach is better.

Come on, guys, the writer must have some freedom to decide how to conduct their stories, and PennLady did a very good job here. Congratulations!

I hate to say it but the argument that this ending is realistic and therefore good is not a compelling one for me. My life is realistic, but it would make for a crummy short story. It is fairly realistic, but it also fizzles out. I was not on the edge of my seat thinking is this conflict going to be resolved. It seemed very resolvable. I was a little surprised when she didn't talk to her brother after the concussion leading to some sort of reconciliation with a family member.after it was brought up.

I love your work Pennlady, it is some of the best out there, and I liked these characters. They were very natural. The ending was just not my favorite of your work. You set a very high bar for yourself.

The ending feels like you rushed it to be complete, given the pacing of your other chapters. I don't think all the loose ends need to be tied up, just the pace should have been in keeping with th other chapters.

Ok so I never leave comments, but I just want to say to all those people criticising the ending, what would you rather happened? Brody can't play any longer so they'll be together all the time? Ryan gets dropped from the tour so she can spend the summer with him? Oh and my favourite idea, Ryan's family issues miraculously fix themselves after years of fighting? If you say it's bad because it's realistic then you need to contact PennLady with a better alternative, because I don't see one. The only comment I'll agree with is that it seemed a tiny bit rushed in terms of length.

Excuse my long rant, PennLady keep up the good work, and I look forward to your next story :)

Thank you for a very enjoyable read. I just read all twelve chapters back to back, even though I was supposed to be taking down the tree :)

Hope we see more from these characters in the future. JT blows out a knee, Imaginary Grace gets a big record deal, or doesn't...who knows?

I wanted Brody to stand up for her more. He supported her of course but was no where near as understanding about her relationship with her parents as he could have been.. He should have stood up for her at the family dinner. I routing for him to punch out the dad. Of course he wouldn't, though he could have said something to support her.

Also you left an unresolved issue. You made the relationship with the parents a focal point of the story then dropped it.

Enjoyable read for the most part. The story, however detailed in some ways, lacks maturity. This is especially true of the relationship handling. They sound a little more like teenagers than young adults and the sex is on the cool side. It lacks the appropriate buildup and each time was much to quick. Tap and go instead of making love. The author is tentative. As good as the rest of it is I would read this author again in hopes that they overcome these obstacles. The ending was cute, not romantic, but cute.

I'd love to see her parents get their comeuppance by seeing how successful she, brody and Evan are. And if JT ends up working construction like his dad not because he got hurt but because of his bad astitude that wouldn't suck either:)

I was surprised at the beginning of Ch. 12, where you stated that it was the final installment. I knew you didn't have time in one more chapter to resolve all of the situations you had created, and as far as I am concerned, you quit in the middle of the story. You failed to follow her to success, and to let her show her family that her music was a much more reliable way to achieve success than sports. You didn't let the younger brother become a success. You didn't have the older brother failing to make the team - any team, or breaking his leg, or coming out of the closet - anything to disappoint her sports fanatic dad. Her dad, if you can call an asshole like that a dad, hadn't been properly put in his place. It seems to me that you just lost interest in the story, while your readers were just getting started.

You left SO MANY situations just blowing in the wind. All you did for an ending was get the guy and girl back together - big deal! I was still interested in finding out what happened to resolve the problems with her family, and you just quit. This was one of the better stories you had going, and you just lost interest, leaving me and most of your other readers frustrated.

WHY??????

A well-turned performance, PennLady. Shame there aren't more writers like you and MugsyB on Lit. Great dialogue, good stories, realistic people who really care about one another. (Not the pretend "caring" of femdoms for their mates: "Oh, baby, of course I love you, you sniveling, tiny-dick wimp. Now get over here and suck Jawan's cum out of my pussy, worm." Love? My arse).

These two were especially enjoyable.

Agree with last anon. Too much left hanging. Need to stick it to parents

Album deal

Headline acts

Body saying change or loose talented daughter

Amy and Rick????

Etc etc.

Too much left unanswered. Frustrating. great story so far.

Will search other stuff to see if an epilogue under its own title.

Brody says he has nothing to do over the summer because Ryan will be on tour! Why doesn't Brody become a roadie for Ryan's band then he can spend al summer with her! Why didn't any of the other commenters notice this?

Too long and that wouldn't be an issue if it had a better ending.

I really have no idea why none of the stories (MugsyB's too) aren't done.

This series really didn't deal with what eventually happened to Evan an important character. Oh hell after investing so much of time reading this series we don't really know if they'd last especially since they both think they'd have to deal with issues when Ryan tours again. It'd have been different with another ending. Even a shorter story like Obie and Lena's had a more solid ending.

The protagonists started out being in a casual relationship but it'd be nice to see how things moved after the 'I love yous'.

All in all disappointing read really. Dragged on and on and then bam stopped suddenly. Time wasted. Sorry.

You've got another 500 pages to resolve all the issues that you brought up. Start up again please. trf

Well written, well edited.

I like the story arcs and character developments, as well as the finish.

Another great story. Well done.

Enjoyed this cute tale very much! Thank you

When I read about a 28 year old acting like a 16 yr old because his girlfriend got her big break and he decided to have a temper tantrum. That is what turns a great story into a waste of time. It didn't cause intrigue, it caused "what the f@ck" is he doing acting like a 16 yr old kid? Adults don't act this way! Especially when you went against all odds to make it into the NHL to get your big break and act like a toddler when someone else gets their break? This was a childish ending and I expected more coming from someone who can write so creatively at the beginning. This was disappointing!!! Sorry I can't give less than 1*.

Unlike Tonyusmc3051, I found the ending of this story to be quite realistic and congruent with Brody’s character. Yes, his temper tantrum was childish and that was Brodie.

Part of what made this series worth a 5 to me was the ongoing tension between the social and interpersonal inexperience / ineptitude / lack of skill of both Brodie and Ryan and how they both grew as social beings, in part due to the efforts of Lara and Baxter to get them to be more self-aware and better communicators.

This series was full of unconscious characters who allowed their immature “little boys/girls” to inappropriately, IMHO, dictate their thoughts, words, and deeds. Ryan’s father and mother, Brodie’s older brother, and Jason, the guitarist, all come to mind…and there are others.

Thank you PennLady for sharing your writing gifts, perspectives on interpersonal dynamics,, and your huge heart with me and the others here on Literotica.

Lots of relevant comments here, but it did leave the big plot hole of her family and any final resolution one way or the other, is she disowned or are all sins forgiven and her father comes to his senses - decades too late…. yeah I wouldn’t have thought so either.

Sadly my takeaway from this story isn’t the fact that both Ryan and Brodie are doing well and coming to terms with a new relationship, it’s the narrow mindedness of Ryan’s family and that the author has potentially seen, read or heard about someone in that type of situation, that a child could be subjected to a home life like that is saddening. Cheers, Ppfzz.

This was a really good story. Thank you.