All Comments on 'Richter Ch. 02'

This is a good start and I am excited to see how exactly this goes. Well made and thought out. Well done.

Kronos.

I like the story and what its got going for it. There are some suggestions i'd make though.

The speech and dialogue sequences of this story are really really formal. It stiff and unflowing, sorta makes it hard to get into the rhythm of the story.

The other thing is the perspective shifts. Use them more. You had a great point at the end where you could've gone into Judd's perspective for the fight. It meant you didn't need to 'talk explain' the situation, because you could've just had it run through her head.

Just some ideas

JC

Great story but please don't take to long to bring out the next chapter.

This is an excellent story, I wish you would come back, and finish it.

Great foundation for what could be a fantastic story. Hope you find your way back to it.

Let me add another voice hoping you have the opportunity and inspiration to continue this story.

Wow! I hope this is just the beginning, you’ve a wonderful imagination, please keep it going. Thank you again for sharing.