by submissiveMan
this is even sadder than MY life, and awfully short, i'm still looking forward to the rest of the story, hope it comes quick
wow i thought the story had potential at first but ... wow that sucked.
i will however read chapter 2 to see if it pulls out and if so how.
Wow, that was lousy! It should have been under non-erotic. Do yourself a favor and stop writing.
Not only did you waste my time reading it, you wasted your time writing it. If this is the best you can do, don't. Sorry I can't give you less than 1, it deserves less.
This was absolutely horrible! Who the hell is Brad? No, wait, I'll use a MAJOR cuss word, who the FUCK is Brad? This has got to be one of the worst stories I've ever bothered to read...definitely belongs in the "can't write Jack-shit" category...
Hey Buddy,
Looks like you have got the beginnings of a great story here. Want to add a few more chapters here? Don't let the others' comments rush you into trying to put everything into the next chapter. Why not keep it voyouristic for atleast another chapter or two before hitting people with a Coup-De-Grace? This could be one hot story, if you want to make it so. Cheers.
I've slammed writers for not being able to keep characters straight, but he DID say who Brad is in the 5th paragraph. I just hope this doesn't fall apart into "let's all humiliate Rick" where everyone gets some but him.
It wasn't the best story that I have ever read, but, you did pretty good. Keep at it !!
This chapter is really supposed to be the setup for the rest of the story.
I have been thinking about this on and off for more than 3 years now. I once wrote it out (and later destroyed it) and it came out different than how it's coming out now.
I'm sorry if it wasn't advertised correctly. Perhaps I should have put this chapter under non-erotic, and had chapter 2 under incest. I apologize.
Also I noticed a couple of grammatical errors that I thought I had flushed out, again sorry.
Rick, Amy, and Brad are still arguing in my fingers about how the next couple of chapters come out but I have a rigid outline of what can happen.
Thanks for reading and the (overall positive) feedback.
You now need to do a follow up showing his revenge to his brother or now ex girl friend.
man of all the storys I read this is the worst man it was a bad idea doing a second the story sucks
It seems as if English is not your language.please have someone edit for you.story had no substance.