Rock Climber

She could feel his heat, lying just an inch away. She could smell him in the air, stirring her senses. Her body was on fire, beyond eager to get things started. The days and nights of fantasizing about just this moment had suffused her mind into a blindingly lustful state. She listened to him breathe and was tense with anticipation as she waited for him to make his move. And waited. And waited. Minutes ticked by and yet he lay still beside her.

Kelly looked out of the corner of her eye at him, trying to read him in the darkness of the room. Suddenly, she understood. He didn't want her. Her eyes widened in shock as the realization set in. Kelly's mind reeled as she swallowed a sob before it could become audible. This had been a huge mistake. What on earth had she been thinking? How could she have been so stupid to think he liked her? She was so undesirable to him that he wasn't even interested in touching her. She replayed all their interactions in her head, and suddenly it was crystal clear. He had treated her with detached indifference not because he was shy, but because he didn't like her. She had been the one pushing their relationship. He had merely put up with her to be nice, like the way she had humored the disabled kids at school.

Kelly stared blankly into the ceiling, her heart seeming to collapse into her chest. All the imperfections of her body, her face, her personality, failings she knew all too well but had chosen to overlook, now screamed apparent. God, he was probably just lying there wishing she would leave already. How long had it been? Should she just leave now? She should have lain down closer to the edge so she wasn't squashed up against him. Kelly laid perfectly still, trying to figure out the least humiliating way to get out of this most humiliating situation. He knew why she was here. He knew she was just an ugly, horny slut that thought she could get him interested by coming over. God, she was such a loser. At least he wasn't taking advantage of her. No, he was too nice of a guy just to screw a random whore. She would never deserve someone as wonderful as him. She would never deserve anyone. Kelly struggled to hold herself together. The only way this could get any worse was for her to burst into tears like a child and run away.

***

Matt lay perfectly still next to the angel beside him. He wondered what could be going on in her life that she needed to find a place to sleep. He felt so blessed that she trusted him enough to ask to come over. He could smell her delicate scent, flowers seeming to fill the air as she breathed quietly on the bed. He wondered if he should have vacated the bed to give her more space, but now he was trapped between her and the wall. He didn't want to wake her by clambering over her, so he just stayed still and smiled contentedly. She was so unbelievably beautiful, he was amazed he shared the same world with her. Angels like her deserved the best, and maybe one day someone would be able to give it to her. For now, he was more than happy to give her a safe space to rest.

Time drifted by, each moment more peaceful than the next, blending into the most treasured morning of his young life. Finally, she stirred and looked over at him.

"I have to go," she whispered.

"Okay," he smiled in the darkness.

She slipped of bed without a sound and a moment later had left his room. He rolled over and buried his head into his pillow, the pillow that moments earlier had supported the most exquisite head in the whole world, and inhaled deeply, capturing her scent one more time.

***

Kelly fought, she fought hard, to hold herself together as she worked her way back to her room. She felt numb, from her head to her toes. Numb. Mostly, though, she felt dead in her heart. Like a massive weight was crushing her chest. Campus was full now, full of happy, beautiful people going about their happy, beautiful lives. No one spared a second glance at the ugly girl in shabby clothes as she crossed through their space. Her roommate, Sara, had left already, and Kelly buried herself into her bed, curled up, and started to cry. When Sara returned hours later, Kelly was still there, curled up on a tear soaked pillow, having skipped all her classes. She had even been unable to gather enough motivation to get something to eat. Mercifully, Sara bought the lie that she was ill and brought her dinner.

Kelly thought about the position she had put Matt in and imagined what it would be like to have the roles reversed. She imagined agreeing to let one of those disgusting boys from high school into her room, almost retching at the idea of Samuel getting in bed with her. For all she knew, Matt already had a girlfriend. He had been kind and patient, and let her leave peacefully without yelling at her. She felt awful for having put him in that situation. She hoped his girlfriend made him happy.

The next day was more of the same. She managed to take a shower, but she couldn't muster the will to go to class. Saturday came, and she hid in her room, acting like she was studying. She still felt numb, dead inside, but she knew she had to get back to work.

A campus event was scheduled for that night, and Sara wouldn't take no for an answer. Reluctantly, unable even to summon the energy to fight, Kelly agreed to go. She tried to make herself presentable, but every time she looked in the mirror the ugly girl was looking back at her. She had no reason to dress nicely, no need to wear makeup. No one was going look at a freckle-faced flat chested loser. She looked at herself in the mirror, her scrawny arms poking out from a baggy tee, and decided she was showing too much skin. Pretty girls were allowed to show skin, ugly girls like her needed to cover up. She put a plaid shirt over top of her tee, pulled on some sweats, put her hair in a pony tail, and slumped on her bed to wait for Sara to return. Her friends entered the room, all dolled up in cute outfits and sparkly shoes.

"You okay?" Sara asked, "You've been acting odd." Kelly just shrugged.

The event was outdoors, spread across many locations, with a booming stage at the front. She tried to join with her friends, bobbing to the music, trying to enjoy herself, but it didn't work. Her eyes caught couples mingling, smiles and laughter, but it all felt like it was a world away. She toughed it out for as long as she could before finally giving up. It was just too painful to be out and ruining the happiness of others. She slipped quietly away from her friends and then through the back of the crowd. She walked aimlessly in the enveloping darkness, lost in the bleakness of her thoughts, passing couples sitting on the lawn in love with life and each other.

She heard a noise. She looked up to see she had wandered into another location, full of people. There was commotion to the side, a scream and a shout. A deep, primal desire to see what was happening took over and she pressed forward. Her eyes caught a fist illuminate briefly in light before plunging down with a thud. An instant later there was another scream, and the crowd parted just enough for her to see the owner of the fist. It was Matt. He had just punched someone. The crowd erupted into chaos and Matt was obscured as someone tackled him. Kelly surged forward and saw him on his feet, taking another swing, this time knocking the guy down. A security guy crashed through the crowd and threw Matt out of the way, pointing a finger in his face and telling him to stay put. The cop then turned, trying to break up the other fight. She paused, watching Matt catch his balance and obediently stand there. She slipped through the crowd, reached out and grabbed his arm. Their eyes connected for a moment as the police loudspeaker boomed for them to disperse.

"Come with me," she said and pulled him into the crowd, driving through people and leading him away.

Cops were flooding into the area, telling people to disperse. More yelling and fighting was going on behind them as she guided him to a darker corner.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he breathed looking back at the mob. "Thanks. You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I'm supposed to stay there, that guy said..." Matt said, looking back.

"Never mind what that guy said. You're coming with me."

More police showed up. She had no idea the school had so many cops. She knew that if they caught Matt he would be expelled for fighting. She had cut her teeth on police shows, and her instinct took over. She took off her plaid over-shirt and had him put it on, figuring that the change in appearance would buy them time. She took his hand in hers and led him away. He glanced back again.

"Don't look back," she said. "It's suspicious to look back."

More cops streamed by, seeming to ignore them. Soon they were just a couple walking hand in hand down the street.

"What happened back there?" she finally asked.

"He...wouldn't leave that girl alone."

"What girl?"

"I don't know, some girl. Some guy wouldn't leave her alone."

"You got in a fight over a girl you don't know?"

"He wouldn't leave her alone."

Kelly's blinked in admiration. Sticking up for someone you didn't know in a crowd of strangers was really courageous. She considered where they were. It was after 11 and there was no way to go back to the concert.

"Well, I think we're safe. I guess I'll just go back to my room."

"Yeah. Um, can you let go of my hand?"

In an instant Kelly remembered she was an ugly girl. Doubtless he didn't want to be seen holding her hand. She jerked her hand away as if scalded.

"Sorry," she whispered, ashamed.

"It kinda hurts," he said and held it up in the light.

"Oh my God," Kelly gasped as her eyes widened. His hand was purple and had a knot the size of a golf ball. "Oh my God. Oh my God!" Kelly stared at his hand, trying to figure out what to do. "You said you were okay!"

Matt slowly flexed his hand and winced. "Should I go to the clinic?"

"Yes! I...I mean no, you were just in that fight. You'll get in trouble."

"It hurts," he said.

"Rosa. Rosa will know what to do. Come on."

"Who's Rosa?"

"A friend of mine. Come on, to my dorm."

Kelly started to move, and Matt reached out with his good hand for her, taking her hand in his. She froze and looked at him, wondering why he wanted to hold her hand.

"Is that okay?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah. Yeah," she smiled. "Let's go."

Minutes later they were running down the hall to Rosa's room. Kelly pounded on the door, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

"Rosa, I need help," she called out.

There was a crash on the other side and a moment later the door flew open, Rosa balanced on her one leg, looking fierce and not at all presentable.

"Are you okay?" Rosa asked.

"Yeah, hi, I...we need your help."

Rosa glanced over to Matt, and Kelly noted movement in the background.

"Oh, hey, if now is a bad time..." Kelly said, with an edge of embarrassment.

"Just give us a second," Rosa grumbled and closed the door.

Minutes later they were introduced to Kyle, who had been in the room with Rosa. Kyle was a big man. With tattoos. Wearing only shorts and not looking pleased. The room smelled of intimacy. Kelly awkwardly explained their situation.

"Well, you came to the right girl," Kyle smiled. "Martinez here is a CLS."

"What's a CLS?" Kelly asked.

"Medic," Rosa and Kyle answered simultaneously.

Rosa looked at Matt's hand. She then pulled the trash bag out of her trashcan and put a new bag in, handing it to Kyle.

"Kelly, take Kyle to all your friends and get all their ice. Tell them I'm making fruit punch."

"Fruit punch?"

"Yes."

Kelly thought about it for a moment, decided she had no idea what was going on, nodded and headed out with Kyle.

"So you're Matt," Rosa said. "Tell me what happened tonight."

After Kelly and Kyle returned, Rosa fixed an ice pack for Matt's hand. She explained that he had a broken hand, and while she had to advise him to go to the clinic, there was nothing they would do other than tell him to ice it and rest it.

"Kyle, I want you to show this young man to the men's rest room, and then come back here."

Matt and Kyle left, and Rosa picked up her phone and dialed, motioning to Kelly to sit.

"Cartwright, this is Rosa Martinez. You want to tell me what happened tonight?"

By the time Kyle and Matt had returned, Kelly had a good idea of the situation. Apparently Rosa was highly respected by the campus security guy, and he had told her everything. The description of Matt was minimal, and the police weren't actively looking for him. A couple of other guys had been arrested, and the girl had been taken to the hospital for treatment for excessive intoxication. If Matt went to the clinic, there was a good chance that he would be cited for fighting and possibly expelled. Rosa showed Kelly how to make an ice pack and gave Matt some ibuprofen. Rather than lugging the ice bucket to Matt's room, they decided that he would spend the night in Kelly's room. Rosa gave them an extra pillow and told them to keep his hand elevated.

Sara was already in bed when Kelly and Matt entered. Kelly introduced them to each other and asked if it was okay for Matt to stay over. Sara told them the concert was cut short by a disturbance of some sort. She noticed Matt's hand, but Kelly deflected her questions. Kelly faced her own bed with Matt beside her. They hadn't really discussed the sleeping arrangements.

"Here, get in bed," she motioned, fluffing the pillow.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Matt asked.

"I'll sleep on the floor."

"No. I'll sleep on the floor." Matt said insistently.

They started to bicker, each one trying to convince the other to take the bed.

"Oh for Pete's sake, why don't you two share the bed?" Sara finally called from the other side of the room.

"Sorry," Kelly whispered.

Matt stared at Kelly, who stared back at him in the darkness, illuminated only by the dim glow of charging electronics. Silently, they agreed to share the bed. Matt laid down against the wall, and Kelly wedged the pillow under his arm by the wall. She remember all too well what had happened—or, more precisely what hadn't happened—the last time they were in bed together. She summoned her courage and joined him, lying on the edge of the bed, half hanging off to give him enough room.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Yeah."

"You're practically falling off the bed. Seriously, let me sleep on the floor."

"No, I'm fine." she insisted.

She scooted another inch over. They rustled some more, lying shoulder to shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she whispered.

His hand brushed the back of hers, and then a moment later intertwined with it. She looked over to him in the darkness, wondering why he wanted to hold her hand now.

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's nice."

"Thank you for rescuing me," he whispered, brushing his thumb across the back of her hand.

Kelly smiled quietly. "Thank you for being so brave. You're a really good guy."

He shrugged. "Well, at least one of us thinks so."

"Yeah, I really do. You're great."

He squeezed her hand and rubbed his thumb on her again.

"Do I smell bad? I got kinda worked up out there."

Kelly suppressed a giggle. "No, you're fine." She turned her head with a grin and gave a few obvious sniffs at him. "You're fine."

Matt turned his head and gave a few sniffs back. "You smell good too."

"I don't even have perfume on!"

"So you just naturally smell like heaven?"

Kelly glanced over at him again. He was being really sweet, even talking to her. He was holding her hand, something he initiated. He sure wasn't acting like he found her repulsive. He brushed the back of her hand again. Kelly looked over to him and thought about what was going on. Finally, she had to ask the question that was on her mind.

"Why didn't you touch me when I came over?" she whispered.

"You were sleeping."

Kelly turned her head to him. "What?"

"You needed a place to sleep, so I let you."

Kelly sat up and looked down at him. There was no way he was that dense. "What?" she demanded.

Sara murmured in annoyance and tossed in her bed. "Sorry," Kelly whispered over her shoulder.

"What makes you think I was trying to sleep?" she whispered in his ear.

"You said you needed a place to crash."

Kelly mouth gaped. He seriously thought she was trying to sleep! "Matt, I was totally throwing myself at you!" she exclaimed in a whisper that sounded like a hiss.

"What?"

"Okay, guys, I'm going to sleep in Alana's room," Sara announced as she got up.

"Sorry, we'll keep it down," Kelly apologized.

"No, no, it's fine. If I have to listen to you two exchange any more sweet nothings I'm going to puke. Have a nice night. Condoms are in the drawer if you need them." With that, Sara left.

"Sorry," Matt said.

"Oops." Kelly turned back to Matt. "You really thought I wanted to sleep?"

"Yeah, why else you would get in bed with me?"

"Gee, I don't know," Kelly said, exasperated, "A hot guy, a girl, alone in a bed, what else could possibly happen?"

"Who was the hot guy?" Matt asked densely.

Kelly gaped at him again. Was he teasing her? She snapped on the light, kneeling now beside him.

"Seriously?" The blank look on his face indicated he wasn't teasing her. "Matt, you were the hot guy, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm the girl."

"I know you're a girl. I...wait, I'm not a hot guy!" Matt protested, still doubting her.

"Excuse me," Kelly snapped, grabbing her breasts. "Hello, boobies! I'm a girl and I think your hot!"

Matt stared at her, a bewildered look on his face as he slowly sat up.

"Why?" he finally asked.

"Gah! This can't be happening!" Kelly flopped back onto the bed. "Okay, like, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but is there something wrong with you?"

"I don't think so..."

"Matt, I'm dead serious. I think you are so hot that I ignored all my inhibitions and came over to your room to throw myself at you."

"Why?"

"Matt, for Christ's sake, which part of 'I think you're hot' aren't you getting?"

"But I'm not! You're hot. You're just incredibly beautiful, the prettiest girl I've ever seen, why would you think I'm hot? Shouldn't you be dating like, I don't know, the captain of the football team?"

Kelly stared at him for a moment as she processed his compliment.

"Okay. First off, football players don't date girls, they just screw them, pardon my French, and secondly, I'm a girl, and I get to decide when guys are hot. And you are hot."

"Well, at least one of us thinks so."

"Would you stop saying that! Geez!"

"But why would you think I'm hot? I'm really scrawny. I don't talk much. I act like I have Aspergers apparently. You don't even know my major!"

Kelly shrugged. "I don't know... business?"

"No, Engineering."

"I thought you were a Freshman?"

"I am a Freshman."

"They don't let Freshmen into Engineering. They only let...oh my God, you're one of the Dwarf Lords?" Kelly clamped a hand over her mouth, too late to take the insult back. "I meant that in the nicest possible way."

"Yeah, yeah that's me. Seven. Seven rings were gifted to the Dwarf Lords..."

"But all those guys are dorks!"

"Exactly! What makes you think I'm not a dork? Even in a room of dorks I stand out as a dork!" He looked sadly at her. "Why would someone like you want anything to with me?"

"Matt, you are so not a dork."

"I think your hot guy detector is defective. I mean, seriously, I really don't see why you would like me."

Kelly sighed and smiled up at him before she reached out and cupped his face. "Because you're kind. And sweet. And handsome. And really strong. And you stick up for people you don't even know. Christ, you're a Dwarf Lord!" she looked away taking back her hand, staring into space as a pause filled the air. "Did you mean what you said earlier? About me?"