All Comments on 'Roland's Journey Ch. 01'

by BobHacker

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Not Bad

Building up to fast. You have all the time in the world to build up the story. Not to say draw it out, rather allow details to add in. Let interactions build up to the full topic. You dont jump right in with, "wanna fuck?", you start with small talk and the such.

JC

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Great start.

Please continue.

Anonymous
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