by john antony
It was good but the bad grammar ruined it. All I could think about was an uneducated person was writting it. I know that sounds terrible but it is true.
I have to agree with the ones who said that the grammer threw it off a bit. It also seemed rushed. I would have rather had it dragged out a little more. But I'm one for foreplay. Don't get me wrong, I have to go lay down ;)
it isn't bad grammar if you consider that he is not
writing in his native tongue. you try writing in
Indian, or Italian for that matter. the story is excellent!
forget the bad grammar. just imagine he's telling you teh story personally - imagine an indian man telling you then you can ignore the bad grammar. indian men do have big cocks and their women usually have big tits. watch any indi movie and you can see all the big titties. and they are naturally firm because they use all kinds of traditional method to keep them firm. i assume the girl in this story is hindi coz she has pink nipples so she must be real fair. imagine aishwarya rai. kareena kapor. north indian women are very sexy. in the hindi movies they wear sexy blouses and dance and you can imagine them naked.
I liked it because it was short and had the basic elements of mutual oral pleasure and a good fuck...but the quality of writing was not very good...when writers obviously have English as a second or third language they really need the assistance of an editor...still...I really enjoyed it...perfect reading for 6am before showering and dressing and going off to work for the day