by Moondrift
Saint Barnabas started it is the best read in two years that I have seen at literotica. This author has imagination, deep feelings and brings out emotions that simply cannot be described .... great, very good stuff...
What a touching story! Loved the read! Was heartfelt and emotional! It tugged at me hard! I wished you would have consumated their relationship! But perhaps this is another story!
Thanks for writing!
Sexmate
You did such a good job of building up the characters and showing the ebb and flow of their emotions.
A very fine story.
Well done.
Fine character development and emotional depth. I love how it's not just about the sexual aspects, but about human relations as a whole. Perhaps a next installment could see Jenny and Mark consummating their relationship in a more intimate manner...
I loved the character development the best. Congratulations!
Like Mark trying to watch the movie, sometimes I had difficulty reading. The screen kept getting blurry.
Jenny
I marked this as a '4' ... It is an excellent story, a lovely romantic story and I thank you. You have a habit of taking one or two small, month-long excerpts from two lives, forming the story and the relationship to just one common point. I wish that sometimes you would consider that point you use as merely being the end of one chapter, and that a another chapter begins where this one leaves off. This next chapter would no doubt be more challenging to write, but for us romantics, oh so satisfying. If there had been a next chapter, it would scored at least a 10 out of 5 ... Lay on McDuff! Thank you, regards, Michael
Further chapters, please!
Both endearing and a bit amusing, but delightful.
Arguably, the ending was a bit rushed, but the overall story was thoroughly entertaining.
nicely laid out & timed, but a bit 'clinical' at times.
All in all, a 'nice' tale.
HP
Not your usual story in a erotica site but still one of the best about love!!
thank you
I love happy endings, YOU, Moondrift, have given us many.
But I do think women can be very cruel by not telling the man about a child....he missed out on those early years and they can never be again.....why are women such cruel bitches doing this to men......that is why I don't like stories like this very much.....besides that she was a fuck slut whore letting him fuck her when she was married......women are just controlling skanks....
but it was a chance in a million that he chose to go to that hotel and saw her again - had that not happened he would never had known about his child as she made no attempt to contact him or tell him. As it was she treated him very badly....he should have just walked away and forgotten her as she never told him until later on....just playing games with him...not a very nice woman....controlling him.....he missed out on seeing his child growing up - time that can never ever be again no matter how hard he tries...that is so cruel of her to have done this to him....why do women do this.....
This tale has been in my favorite's list for a long time, and I'll NEVER tire of it...thank you. Moondrift. Keep up the good work.
Im sorry. It´s not erotic to me. Feels like sexual education. I´m sure it´s a nice story. But the initial sex was mindblowingly boring. I can not go on.
Beautifully crafted, powerful understanding at the end. I shed tears for her relief.
this is the second time I have read this wonderful story and I have it saved in favorites. I plan to read it again in the future.
At the restaurant when she said she'd looked him up on the register and he lived so far away, she wasn't even going to tell him until he asked her to send him away.
What a controlling bitch. And he's all weepy about it instead of pissed off about his kid being kept away from him and the games she played with him? No, I don't think so.
one that took years of growth with much more to come.
While I loved the story and the sentimentality of the relationship, the language was so formal it seemed to have been written in a by gone era.
It would be nice to know what happened next for these three. Did he move or did they? What happened to the precocious Felicity? Just curious.
And a little bit of a puzzlement. If Jenny was 26 and Mark was 18 when they celebrated his graduation, and Jenny is now 38, 12 years have elapsed, but Felicity is only 9. That would be a very long gestation period.
I loved the story. Yes, the age of the girl should have been 12, but the rest of the story made up for that error and a few grammatical mistakes. Like any good story, it left me wanting more. I will spend more with this obviously British writer.
detroitdave
Nouns, when used as names, are capitalized. If not used as names, they are not capitalized.
I love you, Mummy.
Your mummy is nice.
I am your daddy.
Let’s go swimming, Daddy.
You are a sweetheart.
Here’s looking at you, Sweetheart.
Love your story telling. Too bad that there is mostly a very hurried finish to them like they can't be ended too soon.
I like the sketched setting. We don't get the town, the time, the technology or much else about the time or place, but it's better as it gives clear focus on the story. A lovely story. Thank you