All Comments on 'Sandy Wants Josh's Cock'

No one except for Lit authors trying to be cool. And any woman who will fuck every guy she meets has some serious mental problems, the kind that scream "Run the other way!"

This story reads like a porno script. Nothing wrong with that. Not every story here needs to be an in-depth study of the human condition. Some readers seem to take these stories far too seriously. Lighten up.

That said, this could have been executed better with a few minor tweaks. If you had told us this was a continuation of your previous story, that would have provided us with some much-needed background. Without knowing anything about these people, it was just two people fucking.

Also, if you're going to use the first-person perspective, you can't include any action that person can't see. The narrator couldn't see Josh and the wife having sex, yet you slipped from first person to third and then back again. Just stick with third person. It's easier.

Whether intentional or not, the dialog is hilarious. I laughed at several of your descriptions. "Fun bags", "poontang", "tonsil tickler", "coochie", "WMD's", etc. are all hilarious, but not exactly erotic.

Frankly, I found your bio more interesting than this story! Best of luck with your next one. Thanks for contributing.

Glad there is football on today, L.W. sucked.

Was waiting for the cheesy prom music. Stopped reading when they got to the boat house.

Does not read like a loving wife story; more like a poorly written amateur porn script / erotic encounter between a guy and an porn star; as the story actually mentions.

An amateur porn director marrying one of his starlets doesn't really make her a wife; more like a live in girlfriend that he pimps out; she is just seen as an asset (or, object) not REALLY a wife. And, he gets a break as he doesn't have to pay her like a regular actress; kinda sad, really.

It isn't that bad, story wise, and I think swingerjoe just about summed up the problems with your writing craft. When I read this, I kept thinking you needed more development of the characters. However someone mentioned this was a continuation of another story, so maybe you just needed to mention that.

I know this is a bit nick-picky, but when I write I want others to point out things that would make me a better writer. I assume others want that also.

No love, not much sex, very little story. Thanks, for not wasting my time. Sorry about how much you wasted writing this crap.

Not bad but I just didn't get into your story sorry keep writing

Put Ch1 in the title of your starting story, then use the SAME title with increasing chapter numbers! At the very least, mention the previous chapters in a preface!

Not really LW, although the 'effect' on the marital relationship is made clear ... ZILCH! No seduction, no drama, except for how Bill will react when finally informed he's now a Porn Actor!

Detail ... They are EARLY in the old-shingle removal! WHY does Josh want to get a bundle of shingles??? They aren't even ready for for the roofing paper underlayment yet!

2*. Keep trying. You have gotten some good advice, already ... TAKE it!

So damn good!!! What a woman, I bow at her feet and surrender myself completely to her. I hung on every word she said. So strong, such control!!! The physical description of her was spectacular. I have been envisioning her constantly ever since reading this. I wish there was a picture of her, I'd frame it . I would be so totally under her spell . Josh was a fool to resist and wait so long. Please bring back Sandy, I need more of her. What a goddess.