All Comments on 'Sarah, My Younger Sister'

I enjoyed your story very much. It would seem that you have in mind to add a sequel to this storyline. If so, please explain/describe the "complications" aforementioned.

Until your next installment . . .

Will need one or two more entries for tis one. Questions/Complications?

A great and well-written story. I hope the next chapter or two will have more details of where both girls would rather be with Kyle and share a great life and more hot sex details ...... thank you.

the story part was very interesting, as for the sex scenes they were way too short and lacked details, but keep going.

Yoy mixed up Susie and Sarah a few times... confusing. Also, you should have an editor's review to catch these mistakes and other grammatical errors. Very good storyline.

You need an editor to help you with your grammar and the spelling errors. But it has the potential of being a great story.

Laughed at that as a image of a east German shot putter came to mind

Good story - would love to read a Chapter 2. You did confuse Sarah and Susie a few times but I confused them a lot. I had to back a number of times to see if the person you were talking about was your sister or her friend. Please use names that are not so similar. It would be much easier to keep up Sarah and Karen

Great story. could have been split into sections though, as in a complete section about Sarah and Susie Getting it on. Maybe Kyle and Craig walking in unexpectedly. Ending up with a full blown orgy, (no gay).

I was surprised that Sarah dated so many guys and did not give blow jobs. Maybe some hand jobs. I would have thought she would have a reputation as a tease. I guess if you are a beautiful girl you can get by with a lot.

OK...complications..What were they? Do you plan a second chapter for the after college years? If not, why did you mention complications in the first story? You could have ended the story with both marrying the other sibling, moving close to each other where no one knew each other and move into the incest homes and living happily ever after.

Problem is always logistics.

What's wrong with people that this garbage is getting favorable comments?!!

This has some of the worst, most unrealistic dialogue of all time...

"Well Kyle," she began, "I have a girlfriend Susie. Maybe you remember her?"

"Of course, I do. She used to be your best friend. Maybe she still is? She is a little sweetheart, as I recall. How is she?" I asked.

"Oh, in general she is doing well, real well. In fact, she will be joining you at Yale next year, as a freshman," Sarah said. "You've always known how smart she is, right?"

Sure, that's exactly how a brother and sister talk to each other. NOT!!

I'm not sure working with an editor, (as some have suggested), will help you. Best not post anything else until you come to grips with the whole writing/reality thing.

Hell, I don't know why it would be complicated, just get apartments next to each other, or get a duplex condo, or just split a house! Better yet just move far away from the family and do whatever the fuck you want and enjoy life! Hell, my nearest relative is 300 miles away and I can count the times any of them have visited on one hand in the last twenty years! ...and dodging those visits would have been easy heh.

Sis says she doesn't do blowjobs but then he comments on her 'amazingly talented mouth, lol. ...so unless she's been getting feedback from a banana, hehehe!

Regardless, the story was generally fun! The only thing I didn't like was the very end, talking about ultimately failing, kinda threw a wet blanket on the emotional high! Heh.

Thanks for writing!

Well written story with the exception of the times you mixed up Susie and Sarah's name. However, the ending was so abrupt it took away from the story itself. You need to finish the story.

kyle can marry susie and sarah marry craig get a house together and go from there

Dear Author, I have had the enjoyment of reading a diverse selection of your writing.

A one word description will suffice. "Excellent"! Thank you for the spirited writing and stories you have published. All 5 star rated. jntiques/john.

PS. What do the initials J.B. stand for?

Thank you, jntiques/John! You've made my day. ~~JBE

I think you should continue with this story!

Very well written!

The ending was too fucked up for me. 1*

The dialogue was stupid, and you got the names mixed up a time or 2. 1 star is as low as they would let me go.