All Comments on 'Sarah's Secret Desires'

I started to read your story as the premise was intriguing. Aside from a few errors that will disappear with more writing the story was a good read. I would work on your characters mind set for their fantasies/fetishes. By the end it felt like Erika was more disgusted then arroused. I would keep on writing as your tri of friends can form an interesting group of characters.

Your grammar and writing style both need a lot of work. If I were you, I'd start with the grammar, as it's easy to improve without too much effort. A good story is very quickly ruined by poor grammar and style. Take a hard look at well-known writers that you like, and analyse their work. And never write in the present tense. Think about it.

Thanks for the comments guys, I've had some feedback in private as well and it's clear to me my grammar isn't where it should be yet. I am surprised how well received this was, and will work eagerly to continue the story soon. Given that I need to work on my grammar it will take a little time to complete, though, please be patient.

Also, yes, I realise Erika may come across as disgusted moreso than aroused by the end, and that was somewhat intentional. I'm male, so I don't know exactly how a female mind works, but from my point of view, someone who's into exhibitionism would still be a little disgusted and have conflicting feelings towards having been exposed for the first time. Maybe it should've been more towards aroused than it is, though! Thanks.

Great story so far hope you finish the rest and you post them all in their entirity.

This story is amazing! I hope you write more stories soon. I have read this one a few times and its exciting every time.

Good story. Wish there was more