Saving Her Marriage

She nodded and smiled. "Yeah, it was."

"Not that I want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but where did that come from? I haven't seen you that revved up in a long time."

She continued typing, concentrating intently on the laptop screen before her. She suddenly stopped and a look of annoyance came over her. "I just lost my train of thought," she sighed.

"Oh," he said, "sorry. I'll shut up, I promise."

She began reading her essay from the beginning.

Marriage is essential to any civilized society. It is the building block of the family unit. It allows a couple to combine their financial assets and liabilities, enabling them to better manage their finances and attain greater wealth and prosperity. It provides a stable foundation for children, who greatly benefit in many ways from being raised in a two-parent household. Yet, despite all of the benefits of marriage, Western culture has seen dramatic changes to this age-old institution in recent decades. Some of those changes appear to be for the better, while others may not be.

The marriage rate declined in the late 19th century just as the divorce rate began to climb. The stigma of divorce faded quickly during the 1960's and is now considered to be morally acceptable to 73 percent of Americans, according to a recent Gallup poll [1]. Over the past twenty years, that figure has increased an astounding fourteen points. This, while the national divorce rate has plummeted from four divorces per 1,000 people to just 3.1 during that same timespan [2].

The truly baffling aspect of that declining divorce rate is the fact that more married women than ever before are now reporting that they have been unfaithful to their husbands. In the past two decades, that figure has increased a remarkable 40 percent [3], while the infidelity rate among married men has remained even.

Perhaps the stigma of infidelity has simply disappeared along with the stigma of divorce? Not so, according to another recent Gallup poll, which reports that 91 percent of respondents deem infidelity to be morally wrong [4]. What, then, is the cause of this recent increase in infidelity among women?

Jessica had been racking her brain trying to think of a topic for her paper. As soon as she left that dinner meeting with her friend, Samantha, she knew exactly what it would be. She was astounded by what she discovered during her research. Unlike Samantha's parents, her parents were happily married for more than a quarter of a century. Her grandparents were married for 63 years before her grandmother passed. The concept of divorce was as foreign to her as the concept of cheating.

Samantha's story, however, was undeniably compelling. She insisted that cheating saved her marriage and kept it fresh and exciting. She claimed that it caused her to be nicer to her husband, which caused him to be nicer in return. In the course of her research, she came across the stories of several other women who cheated on their husbands without remorse. They shared many of the same sentiments as Samantha.

For some women, their affairs were emotional rather than physical. The advent of social media allowed them to connect with old friends, or even strangers, online, share their most intimate feelings, secrets, desires, and fantasies, and carry on a lengthy "affair" without ever making physical contact. These men, they claimed, filled a void that wasn't being satisfied by their husbands.

"It isn't my husband's fault," one woman recounted. "He was brought up in a way that it was frowned upon to share your feelings and emotions. His entire family is the same way. I knew that about him when we dated, and I knew it when I agreed to marry him. He is so wonderful in so many other ways that I thought that I could live without that particular aspect of my life. And I can. But why suffer if I don't have to? If I can fill that void with a man online, and it does nothing to hurt my husband or our relationship, and in fact it actually benefits my marriage, then it would be self-destructive not to do it."

Several other women agreed with that premise, only their affairs were purely sexual. They would purposely find men they didn't know, seduce them, sleep with them, and then never see them again. They refused to even give their names to these men. Most often, they claimed, they chose married men, as they were safer and more reliable to keep their mouths shut.

Jessica decided to include these anecdotal quotes from these women in her paper, along with an anonymous recounting of Samantha's story. She then added her own experience as well, and confronted the question of whether she could ever cheat on her husband. Maybe an exciting affair was just what she needed to re-energize herself, put a spring in her step, and break out of her rut. Or maybe she wouldn't be able to live with the guilt, and it would slowly destroy her from the inside out. The answer to that question would be the ultimate conclusion to her paper.

***

When she pulled into Devin's driveway two days later, he greeted her with a warm smile before reaching across the seat to give her a friendly hug. "You look nice today," he remarked.

She had to admit, she did look rather nice. She woke up earlier than usual and took extra time getting ready for work. She didn't really think about why she did it until that moment, when she realized she wanted to look nice for him. She blushed at that realization.

Their morning drives were normally quieter than their return trips. On this particular occasion, however, Devin seemed to have a lot to say. Mostly, he chatted about the weather. A massive blizzard was due to arrive the following night.

"You think they'll give us hotel rooms?" he asked. On occasion, the airport would provide hotel rooms for its employees. Even though all flights would be cancelled, the airport would always remain open, and in need of staffing.

"Probably," she said. "From everything I'm reading, we're looking at ten to twelve inches."

"Yeah?" he said with a smirk. "How many inches do you think you were looking at the other day?"

She blushed immediately. "Stop being a pig."

"You liked it, though, didn't you? Admit it."

She shrugged nonchalantly, despite the tingling between her legs. "It was okay."

"Wanna see it again?"

"No!" She nearly veered into the next lane when she spun her head around to glare at him. He responded with an amused chuckle.

When they returned home, they learned that they would have to turn around and return back to the city that night. Hotel rooms had been provided after all. When Jessica informed Matt, he was visibly annoyed.

"I don't understand why they need to be open in the middle of a fucking blizzard," he said. "It's not like anyone will be traveling tomorrow."

"The airport is open," she explained. "Passengers are stuck there and need to be re-booked. Flights have to be rescheduled and staffed. We've been through this before."

"Fine, whatever," he sighed. "Hey, you enjoy your night at the hotel. I'll take care of the house and family."

"Don't be so dramatic," she said. "I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. I'll cook you a nice meal. We'll put Hayley to bed. Then maybe we can spend some quality time together." She gave him a wink.

"Don't make any promises you can't keep," he scolded.

"You know I always keep my promises," she said with a laugh. She kissed him sweetly, then packed her bag and hurried out the door.

Devin greeted her in the lobby of the hotel. "Fancy meeting you here. Go put your stuff away and get settled in your room. Then meet me down at the bar at 8:00."

"I'm not really—"

"No, no, no!" he interrupted, waving his finger at her. "Don't tell me you're going to be all boring and sit alone in your room watching TV. Just be at the bar at 8:00."

The bar was packed with rowdy revelers -- many of whom she recognized as co-workers. She found Devin laughing with a group of his co-workers at a table and took the empty chair next to him. For the next several hours, they drank, laughed, and shared stories and gossip from the workplace. The time sped by so quickly, they were surprised when the bartender announced that it was last call.

"Shit, we gotta be up soon," Jessica said, her words slightly slurred.

"I'll walk with you to your room," Devin offered.

They stumbled to her room together. She opened the door with her card key, and he stood in the doorway as though he were expecting something. She looked at him curiously.

"Just so you know," he said, "I'm in room 311. Just down the hall."

He motioned toward the direction of his room and stood with a devious grin. It was clear what he meant. It was also clear that she didn't dismiss the idea immediately. Without saying another word, he turned and walked down the hallway toward his room. She shut the door and checked her appearance in the full-length mirror hanging on the closet beside the door.

"This is crazy," she muttered. She sat on the edge of her bed and covered her hands with her face.

You aren't seriously considering this, she thought. She had admitted to herself long ago that she was attracted to Devin. He was very handsome and charming, and always so complimentary of her. He made her feel special. She could easily slip out that door, sneak down the hall, knock on his door, and within moments she could experience the thrill of being with him.

No one would ever know. He was married, too, so he wouldn't say a word to anyone. He had as much to lose as she did. She could return to her husband and resume their daily lifestyle as if it had never happened. Maybe she would discover what Samantha had discovered. Maybe her marriage would strengthen and improve with a revitalized sex drive and a better attitude about herself.

What was it that Samantha had said? "Men have been cheating for years. Why can't women?" She couldn't know for certain that Matt had never cheated on her, but what if he had? If so, and she didn't know about it, then it would be the same as if it had never happened. If a tree falls in the forest...

A knock at the door startled her.

"Jess, it's me," Devin said from the other side of the door.

She rose from the bed and slowly walked toward the door. She stood facing the door for a moment, paralyzed with indecision. She reached for the door and noticed her hand was shaking.

***

Jessica sat at the kitchen table with the laptop opened in front of her. She stared at the screen and re-read her words once again.

I reached for the door and noticed my hand was shaking. I turned to look in the mirror and that's when I saw it: my grandmother's eyes. Everyone always said I had my grandmother's eyes. I didn't really see it myself until that moment, but it was true. She was such an amazing woman. I always admired her dearly.

Then I remembered something she told me often: "Integrity is doing the right thing when no one's looking." She also told me: "Integrity is the hardest thing to have in life, because it takes a long time to get it, and it only takes a split second to lose it forever. That's why it's so rare."

If a tree falls in the forest, and I'm the one who chopped it down, I would hear it echo in my mind, over and over again, for the rest of my life. I may not be entirely satisfied with my marriage, but that can be fixed. What can never be fixed is losing my integrity. In the end, I decided that this was more important to me than any temporary sexual thrill I could ever experience.

She shut the laptop and padded into the next room. The television was on, but no one was watching it. Matt was fast asleep sitting in his chair. Hayley was asleep as well, sitting on his lap and wrapped in his arms. Jessica stood for a moment and watched the two of them. A tear trickled down her cheek and she wiped it away. She snatched a tissue from the end table and softly blew her nose.

"Everything okay?" Matt whispered with a look of curious concern. As quiet as she had been, he had always been a light sleeper.

"Everything is fine," she said. "Hey, I was thinking. I think I'm going to switch to a later shift."

"Really? That's great!"

"I won't be able to pick up Hayley at the same time, but we'll figure it out. Maybe it could give me some more time to do more work around the house."

"I don't know what to say. That would be great."

"Also, I think we should schedule a date night every week. We can get a sitter for Hayley and go out to dinner or a movie or something. Maybe bowling?"

He laughed. "Bowling?"

"I don't know. Anything. Just you and me."

His eyes twinkled when he smiled. "Yeah," he said. "I'd like that."