Saying Stay Ch. 04

I walked over to the two of them. "Hey Dawn."

She gave me her best attempt at a smile. "I see someone else got lucky tonight. Who with?"

"Are you okay?"

That woman smiled. "I should say she's better than okay. By the way, welcome to the store. Can you start on Monday?"

"Yeah, uh, I guess." I grabbed Dawn by the wrist. "Do you want to go home now?"

"She doesn't need a boyfriend to rescue her," She said.

But Dawn nodded, and I held her hand as we walked away.

Outside the club, anonymous from the outside, I broke the silence. "You really did not have to do that for me."

"Whatever." Dawn sounded downbeat and a little sarcastic -- in other words, distinctly un-Dawn-y. "You're gonna take the job, right?"

"I dunno if I should."

"Do it."

It was then that I noticed a large red welt around her neck, one that still looked blisteringly raw. The welt snaked down her shoulder and beneath her halter top. Something dark was clinging to the sides of her dress. "Is that blood?"

"Don't."

I didn't say anything, but put my arm around her shoulder. For a moment I feared that this was the wrong thing to do, that she probably didn't want to be touched right now, but instead she clung to my body as if scared of drowning.

"Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"When we get home, can you fuck me until I forget about all of this?"

An hour ago I would have doubted the efficacy of this cure, but I remembered how clear-headed and warm I had felt after venting my anger onto Sadie (whose last name I still hadn't learned). So I said "What are friends for?" and gave her as chaste a kiss as I could muster.

--

Friday, June 1 - 8:20 PM

Dinner and a movie. It was so conventional it was a little weird. Nina had waited for me to call her, and did her best to sound unsure over the phone, but once she went through the motions of being won over she immediately had a pretty strict idea of what our date -- and possibly the ensuing courtship -- would be like. She picked the restaurant (a sleek, modern-looking sushi bar) and the movie (some European movie with a lot of sex playing at the Lightbox) and basically dictated what I ordered through a series of sharp "suggestions". It was okay. Sometimes it was nice to be freed from the burden of making decisions.

And Nina was fun. She was smart, and had an acid wit that betrayed an inability to take shit from anyone. We talked about everything from preferred brands of potato chips ("Doritos probably contain more chemicals than your average industrial run-off, but damn if I can't stop eating them") to the latest political scandal ("Just once I want the wife to stand up there and be like 'Eh, I've done worse'"). While I was struggling with chopsticks, Nina grabbed the sushi with her fingers and stuffed it into her mouth, ignoring the looks as she licked stray grains of rice off her lips. I hadn't had so much fun just talking to someone in a long time.

But all the same, something felt just a little bit off. A little bit dull, maybe. Maybe it was just that I had grown too used to the women in the house, but Nina was remarkably unadventurous. I don't know what I was expecting -- a handjob in the movie theatre, a collar affixed around my neck, a bathroom threesome with an attractive waitress -- but it didn't happen. In the end I headed home with nothing more than a peck on the cheek.

It wasn't fair to think this way, I knew. Maybe having all this access to easy, casual sex had ruined the usual dance of dating for me. I liked Nina, but I wanted her to be more like... I don't know, Dawn.

I realized then, on the subway ride home, that I should probably have told Nina about my sexual situation. Oh well. She had said she wanted to meet me again. I would break the news to her next time.

--

Tuesday, June 5- 10:35 PM

"You want me to fuck you where?"

"In the ass." Dawn slapped the fat of her plump butt, and I couldn't help but watch it jiggle. "The butt. The Hershey Highway. The poop chute."

"Okay, can you please not give it any more synonyms before I have to vomit." The first rule of sex, after all, is that you never want to think about what comes out of the hole you're going into. Unless you get off on that, I suppose, but I didn't.

We were in Dawn's room, nude as the day we were born. This was rapidly starting to become a routine. Well, as much as mind-blowing sex can become routine. We hadn't done much yet -- just the sensual undressing of each other and some heavy petting. After I unwrapped Dawn I liked to hold her in my arms for a while and just be amazed at what life had dropped into my lap.

And now she was on all fours, offering her puckered butt to me. I looked her voluptuous form up and down from her plump and eager ass to the wide smile on her face and thanked a couple of gods. "Are you sure? I mean... I haven't done anything like that before." The depraved voice in my head was cursing me out for being a pussy, but despite my raging hard-on I was still feeling a bit of trepidation.

Dawn looked back at me and giggled, her loose black hair draped like a curtain over her shoulder. "What, you're telling me that you and Simon still haven't--"

"No," I said, forcefully cutting short that particular line of conversation.

"Well, this'll be some good practice for your future boy-on-boy loving. Hey, once you two are finally doing it, can I watch? I used to be one of those slash fanfic girls, you see..."

"Dawn, I'm not gay."

"Not according to Simon..." she said in a sing-songy, taunting voice. That was it. I tackled her to the bed and dug my fingers into her ribs, tickling her for all she was worth. Dawn kicked and tried to get free, but eventually she started tickling back, and soon we were wrestling back and forth all while giggling until it hurt.

I don't know how -- everything was a mess of horizontal and vertical and tumbling bodies -- but somehow she ended up sitting on my face. A still-laughing Dawn put her hands on my chest to pin me down. "Ha ha! I am victorious"

"I surrender," I said into her cunt. I think it ended up too muffled to hear.

"Ooh, that felt good. Say something else."

"Four score and seven years ago..."

Dawn laughed, and then moaned as I swiped my tongue across the length of her opening. As much as we like to play, it's hard to laugh too much with an erection -- maybe the old saying about the blood not being able to go both places at once is true. In any case, we were soon locked in a languid 69 position, the room silent except for the soft smacking of our mouths.

I found it hard to concentrate on Dawn's pussy as she bobbed up and down on my cock, which was as usual like a hurricane around my member. It ached in ecstasy in its bath of saliva and breath.

Dawn pressed up, simultaneously pulling her mouth of my cock with a wet pop and grinding her pussy into my face. I could feel a long, warm lick on the skin of my cock, as though she was taking the first tentative licks at an ice cream cone. I quivered with the sensation, and had to make a mental effort not to come right there.

Then she sat up further, shifting her pussy off my face and leaving my cock alone and hungry. Instead she properly say on my lips, the globes of her ass resting gently on my face. "You want this hole too, Mike? You see how tight it is? Maybe you could flick your tongue up there, give it a good feel."

I did hesitate, but not for as long. That actually surprised me a bit. If you had asked me before about sticking my tongue up someone's butt, I would have been disgusted. But maybe the past month had worn down every sexual resistance I had once had, so that when someone suggested something new and strange I just shrugged and went along with it.

Dawn's asshole was tight and dry, and it quivered around my tongue in a strange, forceful way. It was less messy than I would have thought. (Dawn later told me that she had cleaned up thoroughly back there before she sprung her anal ambush on me.) As I began licking her ass more thoroughly, she began emitting soft, almost vulnerable moans. This wasn't so bad, I thought.

But my face was starting to protest about her weight, so I grabbed her by the legs and rolled her back onto her front. With a firm grip on her thighs, I held her diagonally, her face buried in a pillow, her ass up in the air for me to do as I will. I dove right back in with gusto that surprised even myself, pressing my lips right to the crack of her ass and lapping at the pink rosebud opening inside.

I sort of lost myself in the simple activity, and didn't even notice Dawn's muffled groans getting louder and more desperate. Finally, she pulled her head off the pillow and looked back at me. Her voice was breathy and she had a crazed look in her eyes. "My clit..."

"What?" I said, jarred out of my rimming reverie.

"Just rub my clit goddamnit!" And I did, and she let out one more long desperate moan and exploded into orgasm. I kept a hold of her hips as she bucked against me and kept my lips firmly pressed to her ass. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Her voice was a mixture of wonder and fury, as if her body had taken up arms against her.

Finally, Dawn calmed down and managed to prop herself up with her arms as the last echoes of orgasm coursed through her. I bade her puckered asshole goodbye with a friendly kiss and climbed up to hug her awkwardly from behind. We both let the afterglow have its moment."

"Fuck," Dawn said. "That was good."

"I was a little surprised you came," I admitted. "It was kind of out of nowhere."

"You did good, kid," said Dawn. "So are you ready to fuck me in the ass now?"

And there we were again: her on hands and knees, proudly offering her puckered butt to me, me trembling but still rock-hard.

"Okay," I exhaled.

Dawn produced a big jar of lube from her nightstand and offered it to me. I dipped my fingers into the clear viscous liquid and spread it on my cock. It was a nice smooth sensation, and I idly thought that I might try masturbating with this stuff later.

"Put some in my ass as well," said Dawn. I dipped another finger in the lube and slid it into her asshole, generously applying the liquid to her back passage. God, it was tight. I had no idea how my cock was ever going to fit in there.

Dawn moaned as I applied the lube to her rosebud. "Mike, can you just hook your finger and rub a bit... like that... ohh." Dawn looked and sounded like she just might melt into a puddle of happiness. "That's great. God, I want you to fuck me now."

I carefully got up on my haunches, like I was going to take her from behind, and at first I almost did. I missed the angle and my cock slid along the wet gates of her pussy. But on the second attempt I successfully positioned it at her anal entrance. Of course, then it was still askew and ended up poking up through her buttcheeks, but the third time was the charm.

Her ass was a guarded tight ring, pulsing to allow me entry and then tightening on her cockhead again. I had to stop, as all my brain was taking in the sensation. It felt as though the powerful muscles of Dawn's ass were attempting to crush my cock within them. It was a bit painful but also kind of amazing.

Showing surprising flexibility, Dawn managed to reach behind and slap my ass. "Get moving, bronco."

"Aren't you the bronco, since I'm riding you?"

"Shut up. Not good with metaphors right now."

I slowly slid my cock further into Dawn's ass, with every half-inch swearing under my breath about the vicelike passage. But it didn't come to an end like a pussy -- it just kept going until it had swallowed all of my cock, and my balls were resting against Dawn's taint.

I tried to pull back and fuck her, but my dick felt stuck. I panicked a bit, imagining that I was stuck inside her ass forever -- but then, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Her tight ring of muscles relaxed just enough for me to pull back and then shove my way back in, an exquisite physical sensation. Dawn let out a lungful of air at the short thrust.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "God, you're so big inside of me."

"Well you're so tight around me."

We both grinned as I began to slowly fuck her. It was a delicate operation, but an extremely enjoyable one. The warm muscle of her butt tried to milk me for all I was worth, and every time I slammed into her there was an ecstatic groan. I set a slow, steady place to begin, but eventually Dawn began rocking back, begging me with her cute little mews to fill her more. I took ahold of her fat buttcheeks and began thrusting into her faster, which produced amazed gasps from both of us.

It was an unreal sensation, like vaginal sex with all the sensations multiplied by a factor of ten. No, that's not quite right. It was its own beast, a raw savage sensation. I could barely hear our increasingly loud moans, or the slap of my balls against her skin, or see the amorous redness take hold of Dawn's skin. I could only feel that pocket of amazing that I was plowing into.

I pulled Dawn closer to me, pressing my chest to her back. I could hear her muttered prayers from her as I continued to fuck her asshole mercilessly. I grabbed hold of one breast and rolled the hard nipple around between my fingers. Her torrent of obscenities was music to my ears. Playfully, I reached the hand down between her legs to stroke her clit, and that was all she needed.

It was one long "FUCK!" loud enough to be heard not only through the house, but probably the rest of the neighbourhood. And then she was gyrating against me as she shuddered through a monster climax. Her asscheeks clamped down on my dick, pinning me to her and completely blowing my mind. I think I was screaming too -- I can't be sure. I didn't even realize I had orgasmed until a moment later when I felt the stickiness of my cum around my deflating cockhead.

My cock popped out of Dawn's ass as if it was being forcibly expelled. She fell forward and I fell back, both of us completely spent. I sat there, dazed, watching my cum begin to trickle out of her ass. I did that, I thought numbly. That's mine.

"Jesus," Dawn said into her pillow. "It takes you a while to warm up, but you sure know how to ride a girl. I'm not going to be able to sit down for a week."

"Sorry," I said, still not in my right mind.

Dawn managed a flirty smile. "I'm sure I'll find some way to forgive you."

We spooned, exhausted bodies hugging each other. Instead of the active, excited bliss of sex a calmer kind of bodily joy crept over me. I realized that I had always kind of wanted to try anal, but never had the guts to ask any of my girlfriends about it. With Dawn, it wasn't a question of courage . It was all just play, and what could be more harmless than a new form of play? With dreams of further experiments in my head and the sweet scent of her sweat in my nose, I began to drift off.

--

Friday, June 8 - 8:23 PM

The TTC bus made its usual leisurely way among the forgotten sidestreets that seemed to split off from downtown Toronto like bits of unfortunate body hair. I was squirming in my seat, while Dawn was practically dancing in hers, earbuds pumping hip-hop beats to her and her immediate vicinity.

"So," I said. "What kind of place is this... er... party at?"

"The sex party?"

I glanced around, to see if anyone was listening in on our conversation. Of course, it wasn't like you could tell just by looking. Dawn didn't seem to mind providing a little titillation to the rest of the bus, but I liked to keep these things private. Call me a prude if you will.

"It's in this old warehouse," she said. "This guy Greg from the scene bought it for a song and turned it into this weird bar slash apartment building. It's sort of like our house. Well, not all of the people living there are into the scene, but they know about Greg's parties and know to keep their heads down and their doors locked."

I wondered about this scene that Dawn was referring to. Was there a whole subculture that lived like this? Some kind of organization? Was I a part of the scene? I had imagined that this weird little free love experiment didn't go beyond the walls of my house, but I was slowly becoming aware of a whole world of promiscuity and strangeness out there, lurking just beneath the face of normality.

"There are probably going to be a lot of kinky people there," said Dawn. "But if you're not into that, it's fine. If you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to do anything at all. The downstairs is more of a bar type environment with maybe a little bit of making out, fondling, some light play... but if you're going to actually fuck somebody you'll want to take them upstairs." In front of us, a shrunken grandmother was turning scarlet.

"Uh, got it. Any other finer points of etiquette?"

"Well, I would say don't try to pressure anyone into anything, but you're not a douchebag so you don't need that kind of warning. Um, be careful about gender pronouns. People won't mind if you slip up once or twice, but if it becomes a habit..."

I wondered once again how Dawn had talked me into going to this party with her. I just didn't have a backbone, I decided. A sweet grin, especially when accompanied with some naked breasts, could get me to do anything.

The actual place was less intimidating than I had built it up to be. In fact, it was kind of cheap-looking. On the outside it was a rusted industrial building, absolutely nondescript. The inside was dark, candlelit, and with the kind of tacky furnishings (crimson carpets, dark and morbid paintings) that seemed more suited to a Vampire: the Masquerade LARP than a cool sex party. The people were another matter, a dizzying array of alternate beauties, every step on the scale from femme to butch, kinky to vanilla, gay to straight, male to female. Occasionally they would gather in corners, expose each others breasts, place nipple clamps on some mortified collared creature. There was a vibrating uncertainty in the air, as if something great or terrible was about to erupt.

Dawn was talking to seemingly everyone in the room, greeting them with hugs and inside jokes. I stood by silently and made the occasional introduction, but nobody seemed very interested in me. It was like those unfortunate times you end up hanging out with a clique of friends that doesn't include you. Of course, I guess for me that was most of the time. Going back, I had always felt that all my best friends had better friends, and while I was fairly popular I always seemed to be at the vortex of many outer circles, never able to penetrate some inner emotional core. It was like that at the house too: as much as everyone tried to welcome me with bodies and minds, there was still some long-established social dynamic weaving between Dawn and Julia and Simon that I couldn't equal.

It was weird the things you thought about at a sex party.

A pale blonde was giving me a detailed review of the latest sex toy when Alexis walked in. She was tall, taller than me, a broad-shouldered woman with bowl-cut hair and masculine clothes that only highlighted her sexuality more. She looked like a strange Amazonian permutation of Anne Hathaway. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to recognize her.

Dawn pressed herself to me. "That's Alexis. I would avoid her if I were you. She has a reputation for... well, let's say playing too rough."

That alarmed me. "I didn't know there was such a thing as too rough around here." Dawn didn't elaborate.

We soon fell into another conversation I didn't understand, as Dawn traded jargon with a middle-aged couple and made references to previous encounters. Some troglodytic part of my brain wondered nastily just how many people she had fucked, and whether she had any sort of standards.

She then headed over to the makeshift bar to get drinks, and proceeded to chat up the bartender (who surely had to be used to such things by now). I noticed Alexis approaching her. Dawn looked up, and even from across the room I could tell she was uncomfortable as Alexis's large shadow fell across her. It was one of those conversations you can get the gist of just from body language -- Alexis stretching out her body, looming to her full length, while Dawn smiled but shrunk up against the bar.