Sea Goblins

1. Find a man I don't find repulsive who doesn't seem to be repulsed by me.

2. Get drunk.

3. Seduce him.

That wasn't going to work with Michael. I was going to have to be sober for our date, and I was going to have to stop anything sexual from occurring until I was confident I could take him. That meant that I was going to have to convince him that I was interesting and attractive enough to date even though sex was temporarily off the table.

It was a terrifying prospect. Exciting but terrifying. What if he actually did like me? What if he was okay with going on a few dates before we attempted anything sexual?

'What are you going to wear?' Mum asked.

'Oh God, I hadn't even thought about that,' I said.

She smiled brightly. 'Let's pick something. We'll make sure he's knocked off his feet the second he lays eyes on you.'

~~~~~~~~~~

Michael was supposed to arrive at my house at six-thirty. I'd planned to wait by the door from six twenty onwards, so that when he arrived, I could rush out of the house without him having to come and knock at the door.

I thought it was a pretty foolproof plan, but I hadn't counted on Michael arriving twenty-three minutes early. I was barefoot and finishing my make-up in the bathroom when I heard a knock at the front door. Oh no, no, no, I thought, rushing out to the living room with no shoes on and a half-finished lipstick application. Let me be the one who answers the door.

Dad beat me to it. He opened the door, eyed up Michael and asked if he was the one who didn't want a holiday.

'Yeah, that'd be me, mate,' Michael agreed, holding his hand out. 'I'm Michael. Nice to meet you.'

'Dave.' Dad shook his hand. 'Come in. She's not ready yet.'

'It's my fault. I misjudged the traffic.'

'Where do you live?' Dad asked.

'Dad!' I interrupted. 'Dad, go back to watching TV. I'll take over.'

Michael and Dad's gazes swivelled over.

My date's face softened and he gave me a shy smile. 'Hi Katie. Sorry I'm early.'

'You'll be sorry if you have to listen to my Dad interrogate you,' I told him. 'Give me two minutes and I'll be ready. Tell Dad to shut up if he asks you anything personal.'

'I don't mind,' Michael said. He turned to my father. 'I live at Sandgate, with my parents.'

I dashed back into the bathroom to finish getting ready. I was glad Michael was taking Dad's questioning in good humour, but I didn't want to leave the pair unattended any longer than absolutely necessary.

When I pulled on my shoes and went to retrieve Michael, Dad was questioning him about his university studies. My father never went to university, but because I did, he thinks every man I date should also have a degree.

'Sorry,' I apologised to Michael as I led him away from my father. 'He's a pain in the arse.'

'He's not so bad.'

I shook my head. 'You don't need to lie to me. I know what he's like.'

Michael unlocked his car and opened the passenger side door for me. I'd literally never had a man do that for me before and skulked in guiltily.

'You look beautiful,' he said.

'Oh, thanks,' I replied with a blush.

He shut the door and went around to the driver's side while I strapped myself in. He had a big Toyota thingummy that sat high off the ground and had lots of modifications. That probably doesn't make sense, does it? Let's just say it was the sort of 4WD that people buy when they actually want to go 4WD-ing.

'Do you go camping?' I asked him.

'Yeah, either that or I sleep on my boat.'

'You sleep on a boat?' I asked incredulously.

He put the keys in the ignition and started the car. 'I love fishing. I'd spend my life on the water if I could. Do you fish?'

'I've never gone fishing in my life. Are the fish from the ocean even safe to eat?'

It was Michael's turn for incredulity. The expression on his face made me giggle, and as I thought about my question - and where regular fish come from - I felt a bit embarrassed. Michael smiled at me, then he leant over and kissed my forehead.

'You look really pretty tonight,' he said. 'Thanks for coming out with me.'

'You look really cute, too,' I replied.

He'd traded his jeans for dress slacks, and his hair was neatly brushed. He was by far the best looking man who'd ever asked me out, and I was still really flattered that he hadn't realised I was trans.

Michael started to drive off. 'What did you get up to this week?' he asked.

'Oh, just work stuff. And I won a raffle prize, that was exciting. Speaking of that, I really think we should at least split the prize. You can take two and a half grand worth of stuff, and I'll take the other two and a half. Or you can have it all. You paid for the ticket.'

'It was a gift,' he said. 'The prize is yours.'

'I feel kind of bad.'

'No, don't feel bad. Feel excited. Besides, I feel really bad about what happened at the bar. I'm so sorry about that.'

'That wasn't your fault,' I argued.

He grimaced. 'I could have defended you.'

'I don't need defending and I know you were surprised. Don't worry about it. Seriously.'

He drove us into the city and we parked our car. I had no idea where we were going, I just let him lead the way. He knew where he was going.

We went to Aria, which is a super high end restaurant. One look at the prices on the menu and I nearly died, but I was mentally committed to paying the bill, so I told myself to enjoy the meal. If I was going to spend thirty percent of my weekly wages on one meal out, I might as well stop stressing and eat up.

Michael was good company and the food was exceptional. By the time I'd finished my dessert, I no longer cared what it cost. It had been an awesome night, and sometimes you just need to splurge. I was at a financially stable point in my life. I'd had all the surgeries I needed to make me feel like a real woman. Life was good, and the alcohol I'd consumed over dinner made it seem even better.

When the bill arrived I reached for my credit card.

'No,' Michael said firmly. 'I told you I'd pay.'

I didn't want to cause a scene, so I lowered my voice to a whisper. 'And I told you that I'd pay.'

'I chose the restaurant,' he argued.

'It was a good choice.'

He put his credit card inside the bill folder. A waitress approached and he handed it to her with looking at me.

I didn't want to challenge him in public, so I bit my tongue. I'd discuss this with him later. I really disliked feeling indebted to anyone.

We left the restaurant and walked along the Brisbane River. There were boats in the river and he started talking about one of them with a passion that I knew wasn't borne out of idle interest.

'Do you like boating?' I asked curiously.

'I love it. I love going fishing and spending the whole day, and often the night, on the water. I have an old boat and I take it out just about every weekend.'

'Do you get seasick?'

'No. Do you?'

'I don't know. I've never been on a boat, only on the cross-river ferries.'

'Do you want to come with me sometime?' he asked. 'Maybe next weekend?'

'I'd love to,' I said. I wanted to another date, and being on a boat meant he was guaranteed not to spend money on me.

'Do you want to spend the night at sea?' he asked.

I hesitated.

'Oh fuck, I don't mean to make you feel pressured,' he apologised. 'I'm not asking you to sleep with me. Well, I'm asking you to sleep on the same boat as me, but not have sex with me.'

I felt immensely relieved. 'Okay, cool. That sounds like fun. But, um, what if I need to pee while I'm on the boat?'

'There's a toilet on board.'

'Is this going to be some super yacht?' I asked suspiciously.

Michael laughed. 'You'll be disappointed if you're expecting a super yacht.'

'What colour is it?' I asked. Always wanting to know the important questions.

'White with a navy trim.'

'Okay, I'll go on your white boat,' I said. 'Can you teach me to fish?'

'You're the first girl I've met who's wanted to go fishing with me,' he said. 'I'd love to teach you.'

We'd reached the end of the boardwalk. Nobody else was around. Michael stopped walking and pulled me in for a kiss.

It was incredible. Just enjoying kissing someone I liked, with no pressure of sex, was something I hadn't permitted myself to do before. Michael had one hand resting on my hip, and the other on the back of my head. He held me the way a man holds a woman he admires, and he kissed me with a passion that hinted at bridled lust. He was forcing himself to take this slow, but I knew that if I offered sex, he wouldn't hesitate to get us both naked.

A family walked by and I tried to pull away, but Michael held me close.

'I have a hard on,' he hissed urgently. 'Stay close to me and hide it.'

When the family had passed, I reached down and rubbed the bulge in his pants. I don't know how I hadn't noticed it until he pointed it out. He wasn't big or small, just a regular sort of guy, but it was poking against the fabric of his pants in a very obvious way.

While we were waiting for it to subside, I made a joke designed to instigate what I felt was a necessary discussion.

'I remember having one of those,' I joked, nodding my head in the direction of his penis.

Michael laughed and hugged me tightly. 'It's good to be with a girl who really understands how annoying they can be.'

'Does it gross you out?'

'What? My penis, or the fact that you used to have one?'

'The latter,' I clarified.

'Um...' he trailed off and frowned. 'No, not really. You look and act and sound like any other woman, and I'm straight so... I sort of can't even comprehend you used to be a man. I don't know. The answer you're after is 'no' and that's the what I'm going to say. No, it doesn't bother me.'

'One of my girlfriends is the same as me; everything has been operated on and she has a normal woman's breast and vagina, and she's never picked, ever. She passed every time. But they told her husband's family, and now he gets asked if he's secretly gay.'

Michael kissed my forehead. 'I'm not worried about that. Anyone who's seen my porn viewing history would feel very confident I'm not gay.'

I giggled. 'Maybe you could write to pornhub and get a report on what you've watched.'

'I can get reports from more than one website, Katie,' he teased.

We started laughing, laughing and kissing and hugging. When our giggles and chuckles had faded, he held my face in his hands and kissed me. He kept his eyes open and his gaze locked on mine. He liked me. I liked him. My palms felt sweaty with nervousness, but I was so happy to be with him I didn't want the evening to end.

I would have walked the boardwalk forever if I hadn't been in high heels, which were starting to hurt my feet. Michael noticed and took me back to the car and drove me home. We made out for a bit out the front of my house, before we said our good-byes and I went inside.

I'd done it. I'd gone on a proper, adult date with a man I really liked. My stomach was full of butterflies and it wasn't until after midnight that I finally fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~

The boat wasn't a yacht, but it wasn't exactly small, either. It was berthed at a marina in between two bigger boats, and as Michael helped me aboard and handed me my overnight case, I felt a bit more excited than I'd expected to feel.

'I like your boat,' I said. 'Can I look around?'

'Sure. It's your home for the next sixteen hours.'

It was about eight or nine metres long and it was kind of like a boat with another bit of boat stacked on top. On the bottom part there was a steering wheel, tiny kitchenette and table, shower and toilet, and double bed. On the top bit there was another steering wheel.

'Where do you steer from?' I asked curiously.

'Either one.'

The boat was very clean and tidy. We'd been in contact with each other throughout the week and he'd shamelessly admitted he'd gone down to the marina to clean it up in preparation for a woman coming on board. I'd asked him if he cleaned it if he had male guests and he'd laughed and said 'no, fuck them, they're not worth the trouble'. I, however, had been deemed worthy of his time and attention, and I'm not going to deny that that pleased me.

'And if we start sinking, do we get in the life boat at the bottom of the boat?' I queried.

'That's a dinghy, not a life boat, and I'm hoping we won't sink. That's not the mood I was hoping for.'

'The mood?' I teased.

He leant over and kissed me. 'Yes, the mood.'

With every minute that passed, every conversation, every bit of banter, he was growing more confident around me. Gone was the shy, nervous guy at the bar, and in his place was someone who was, oh God, how do I explain it? Just wonderful. I was really starting to develop feelings for him. I enjoyed talking to him, texting him, and being with him.

I took a seat next to him and asked if he wanted any help, but he said the only thing he wanted was company. He was incredibly easy to talk to, and as he led us out to deeper water, we talked about his love of fishing. He did that thing that people who are intensely involved in hobbies do, and spoke about things that went right over my head because I didn't understand the basic concepts let alone the developed theories, but it was nice watching his eyes light up and to hear the passion in his voice.

'I should stop talking,' he said. 'What about you? What are your hobbies? We've been talking about me and fishing and boats all week.'

'I don't really have any,' I admitted. 'When I was a teenager I did up a plan about how I was going to achieve all of my goals. I had a lot on my plate up until recently, because I was studying and working as well as transitioning.'

'Did the surgery cost a lot?'

'Tons. Medicare covered some things, but a lot of it was considered cosmetic, and even for the Medicare covered stuff, there were out of pocket expenses. My parents helped me out, but I earned most of the money myself.'

'Wow.' He glanced over at me. 'You're really driven, aren't you? No wonder your Dad was practically demanding to see a university degree, a piss test to show I'm not on drugs, and a payslip.'

There was a hint of resentment in his voice. Dad had again bailed him up when he'd come to collect me that morning and had given him a second interrogation. I'd been totally embarrassed and had dragged Michael away as Dad was in the midst of asking him where a twenty-six year old got money for a boat.

'Sorry,' I said. 'He's just a Grade A worrywart, and he trusts no one. It's okay. You have a degree and a job, and you don't smell like pot, so I'm sure he'll calm down soon.'

'I hope so. I really like you.'

I smiled and blushed. 'Me too.'

We drove a little further out. Michael had been silent, but he'd evidently been dwelling on my father's continual questions, because when he put down the anchor he continued the conversation pretty much where it had left off.

'My parents bought me the boat,' he explained. 'It was a graduation present.'

'Mine took me out to dinner.'

Michael smiled wryly. 'My parents are loaded.'

'What do they do? Or is it family money?' I asked. 'Whoops, sorry, scrap that. That was rude.'

'No, no,' he said. 'They're property developers but they also have family money.'

'Oh,' I said. Understanding was dawning. Pieces of the jigsaw puzzle were fitting together. All the random comments and statements were starting to make sense. 'You work for your parents, don't you?'

He nodded. 'Yeah, but it's not a free ride or anything. I still need to actually work. Not everyone gets that. Those guys I was with at the bar sure didn't. That's why they were so keen to take the piss out of me. They just see me as a spoilt son, being shoved to the front of the queue.'

'I don't understand why people get so upset about that. Why wouldn't parents hire their kids for the cushy roles? If I had a kid and my own company, and my kid needed a job, I'd give it to them.'

'I still need to work as hard as everyone else,' he said.

I didn't press the matter. It was obviously a sore point.

He returned to his happy, outgoing self as we stopped discussing work and family, and he taught me how to fish. There was a fish finder on the boat, and he showed me how to use it as I burst into giggles.

'It also tells me where the sea goblins are,' he told me. 'If I know where they are, I know where I can't anchor.'

'The sea goblins, huh?' I asked. 'And what do these sea goblins look like?'

'Mostly they're black. They prefer deep water, at least a thousand feet down, but they stray into shallower waters when they're hungry. The follow the fish. Your biggest risk is if they are following a fish that's caught on a line. They'll follow the fish all the way to the surface. They're very determined.'

I giggled. 'Good thing you have the fish finder.'

I caught three fish before lunch and made him put them all back, even the two that were of legal size. He caught four and on the basis that all were of good size and we'd need to eat that night, he kept them.

'I can't look you in the eye,' I said. 'Fish killer.'

He grabbed me and kissed me. 'I have a confession to make; I'm a serial fish killer.'

Over the course of the morning, he'd stripped down to his board shorts and I was in a bikini. I never normally wear bikinis. I couldn't even remember buying this one, so Mum had probably bought it for me. But I felt confident around him, and with nobody to see me and judge my less than perfect body, I'd decided to be brave.

Michael seemed to like it. He didn't stop kissing me and I found myself readily responding. I was seriously attracted to him and his body was hard and lean against my soft, female one. He gently squeezed one of my breasts, and my hands did the same to his bum. With us both wearing such brief clothing, there was no hiding his erection and he started to subconsciously rub it against me.

'We should stop this,' he muttered, his teeth grazing across my earlobe. 'Let's have some lunch so I don't have a chance to break my promise to be good.'

We broke away from one another and each smiled guiltily. He may have promised me he'd behave, and I may have promised myself the same thing, but it was proving a hard vow to keep.

I was on the cusp of offering him some sort of sexual activity when he said 'fish!' and went to attend to a fishing rod.

I watched him reel in a fish and realised that if I entered into a relationship with Michael, I was going to spend a lot of time aboard this boat. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant thought, and he was obviously trying to make it enjoyable for me, because after lunch we moved closer to land, then used the dinghy to travel to shore.

I had no idea where we were. It was an island and there was a quiet beach with golden sand and clear waters.

'Where are we?' I asked.

'St Helena Island. There are prison ruins over the other side, but we'd need to book a tour to see them.'

'We should do that sometime,' I said.

'Whatever you want,' he replied, taking my hand in his. 'Name the day and I'll organise it.'

'Or we could agree on a date and I'll organise it,' I countered.

He leant over and kissed the side of my head. 'You're really independent.'

'Maybe, but I also want an equal relationship.'

'My parents pay me more than I deserve.'

'Well then you'll just have to get used to slumming it when we're going out on my dime,' I argued.

Michael laughed and pulled me into a hug. 'I'm having a really great day. Thanks for coming.'

'Thanks for inviting me.'

We walked around for a bit, then sat on the sand and just talked. It's funny all the odd things you learn about someone. I commented that he had a bit of an accent and he told me he was American 'with the circumcision to prove it', and from Texas no less.