All Comments on 'Second Chance Ch. 04'

Never under-estimate the effects of insecurity on a relationship. Amazes me how many are taught by society to never reveal their deepest most fundamental concerns to the ones they love most.

I don't care that others didn't like it - I did and I want more of these stories. Some people might think I am a sad person for liking it soooo much - well that is their loss. It kept me enthralled for a couple of days - and just goes to re-inforce the view that the most important thing in a relationship is the necessity to talk about anything and everything - even the most difficult and embarrassing subjects must be talked through in order for a couple to become, and stay, a real couple!

Super story - I want more of them.

'2nd chance' gives me a moment to praise the best and rant at those that don't appreciate what "our" authors give to us readers. The trivial 'burn them at the stake' or 'wimp' comment lacks any substance or substantial critique about storytelling for the serious writers at this site. Those comments only denigrate the commentators for lack of insight and smarts.

I read this category because, after being married for 38 yrs, I still realize that companionship is a big mystery with a limited number of solutions and every problem has to be dealt with. Every possible solution is not possible. This category, LW, is rich in stories about dealing with breaking 'social rules' and that leads to interesting problems. The depth and quality in how an author paints a spouse dealing with the other spouse who violated the rules is interesting and challenges the writer's imagination and literary skills. A number of authors, amongst whom S-des is one (and Renquist and elsol and Leverkun and Sir Thopas and I could go on with another 10 or so) either deliberately or intuitively understand and have the writing skills to convey a psychological depth to the characters who are at both sides of the broken rule. [Other writers are superb storytellers without the psychological depth. They fall, to me, into a different category of writers who are enjoyable but lack the impact to provoke thought after the story is read - except sometimes when the question becomes apparent that something is missing that prevents that particular story from being great.] Clearly, I am not commenting about stories advertised as stroke stories since they are a third category of writing...the short, short, erotic story focusing on sex alone, not character.

'2nd chance' recounts a number of themes others have written about, young love, betrayal, redemption, etc., but it also has something else: literary value. Much thought went into structuring this story, and not just as a series of sequential events. Who knew the importance of the beginning Darryl story before the end? Not me. I got caught up in the story to think about it as anything other than a question mark. However, it clearly played a continuing role throughout Tim's story as we learned at the end. That short and sad beginning is a remarkable piece of literary forshadowing that finally is integrated into the entire story at the end. It actually presents itself as the instigation of the story but only in retrospect. A mystery, and other good literature, are known by its forshadowning. A good mystery has clues throughout the story that hint but don't giveaway and often, they are correctly interpreted only in retrospect. The psychological weakness of both Tim and Donna is not explicitly clear until near the end, yet plays a major role throughout before being resolved in a fluid manner. Great writing!

In other words, kudos to S-Des. 2nd Chance is a 10 in a world of 5's. No matter how long this story took to germinate and to craft on paper, it is a gift to us and its worth should be acknowledged.

While I'll be the first to admit that the *taking back the cheating ex* isnt my cup of tea in these stories, none the less this was a very good series. It was written so that you could see the story actually unfold in the real world just the way it did on paper (or screen as it were). I personally would rather read ten stories that are semi interesting content but still GREAT stories, rather than read one story that caters right up my own alley but turns out to have all the inteligence of a bum with a car wedged up his ass.

In the end, great story telling, fantastic story, incredible writing. As you did here, as you have before, as I hope you continue, please entertain us with your supreme abilities to craft a story.

by the way, daryl is an AWFUL name!

I didn't believe you could do it. you're good!

Story was reasonably well-written and showed good planning and plot development. That said, I felt Tim was portrayed as a very weak male. He was not just beta or delta, he was more like kappa. His knees buckled at every crisis. He was timid and indecisive when he needed to make choices. Tim seems to intrinsically be a weak name. I don't feel a BTB response was necessarily the mandatory pathway, but even a nerdy guy should have been able to enter into new relationships. Instead he behaved as one might if raped or abused. But he never got counseling or any other help to deal with his insecurities. I also question his behavior in attacking Jake after the college escapade. Others have commented on the lack of credibility in this regard. Nerds as timid as Timothy would avoid physical confrontation with a big jock. Despite these concerns, I enjoyed the story and give it four stars overall. Thanks for writing.

After chapter 4 I was disappointed and a little depressed. Good comeback & thanks for tying things together.

After part three, I said you had written yourself into a corner. Pleased to see you write yourself out of it. A fine story. You remained true to you characters, and it was enjoyable to read. Thanks.

I enjoyed reading it. After chapter one I was hooked. Great stuff and continue writing

It is great to have S-Des back and posting. He has written great stuff. As I commented before and got shot down for, if he posted this as Romance or Novel and Novella it would probably pull down a 4.8 in 5.0 score, but here on LW there are a residual group that always vote one star if there is reconciliation in any form. On the other hand there is a group who vote two stars on any well written violent revenge tale no matter how well written

NeuroBill below said all that there was to be said and said it very well.

Thank you for taking time to write this.

Very nicely done, thought provoking, and an enjoyment to read.

Great Job!

New Classic, Favorite. I would simply 'add' that those who pay ANY attention to the comments need to re-read NeuroBill's comment. 5* to THAT and

10* to S-Des

I've finished reading this on SOL and waited until this chapter came out, before responding. Personally, I thought it was rather so so

As others have said in the comments in chapter 3, Tim's inability to actually SAY why he thought Donna cheated, was weak. It reminds me very much of women's "If YOU don't know why I'm angry, I'm certainly not going to TELL you" stunt. Wait, that's exactly what it is.

Donna running off, not wanting to see Tim and him having to beg on his knees to give him a chance, THAT was what I disliked about the story, strange as that may sound.

Because this simply turns it around. Make the husband equally at fault, make HIM apologize to HER, so SHE can forgive HIM, and make that the happy ending. Very cliche and boring.

(As a small sidenote, ever seen the movie Hitch, with Will Smith? Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Girl mistakenly thinks boy is bad, and very publically ruins his career and reputation. Boy calls her out on it, girl leaves. Boy begs girl to give him another chance, she accepts and apologizes to him, with nobody around. Boy's career and reputation are still ruined, but hey, he got the girl, right?)

Back on topic, this sounds like the marriage counselor trick of making the husband 50% at fault for the wife's wrongdoing, making them equals again.

Yes, I KNOW Donna did not cheat after she was married, and I KNOW that Jake set them both up. That is AFTER the fact, however. Look at it from Tim's POV. He walks in on Donna and Jake having drinks together, and it turns out she's known Jake was back for a while. Jake's the guy she cheated with before, WITH all the ensuing drama.

What the hell was Tim SUPPOSED to think? OFCOURSE he'll think she's cheating again. Ofcourse he will think the worst of it, BECAUSE of their past. It's not like Donna never cheated on him before (with the SAME person!). There was a precedent. Donna NOT telling him Jake was back and bothering her, she knew it was wrong, and yet did not tell Tim. So Tim thinking that Donna not telling him is because she's cheating again, is LOGICAL.

So when Jake pulls that wine on dress trick, it's perfectly reasonable for Tim to believe Donna IS cheating. I mean, it's not like Donna has never cheated before. It's not like Donna has never kept secrets from him before.

It very much feels like that after the truth comes out (that Jake screwed them over), and Donna leaves Tim, that everybody blames Tim for not trusting Donna.

"Well," Caroline said, "that certainly sounds more like the young man I thought I knew. But Donna is devastated. I don't believe that there's anything you can say to make up for what you did."

What did Tim do? He accused her of cheating with Jake. Again. After she'd cheated on Tim in school. After he found Donna and Jake together having drinks. After Donna told him she never told him Jake had been back for a month. How terrible of Tim to accuse Donna of cheating. (Yes, that was sarcasm.)

If THAT is utterly devastating for Donna, and that there's nothing he can say to make up for what he did....What if Tim cheated on Donna? The world would end. Freaking Armageddon.

When I read that bit, I actually thought "What's good for the goose...."

But ofcourse (I keep saying that) Tim has to grovel and beg for Donna to take him back, that he should've trusted her although she's cheated on him before. Instead of Donna going "Yes, I can see how you thought I was cheating, although it was a setup by Jake", she went "You hurt me! How could you not have trusted me?! I never want to see you again!".

Sorry S-Des, but this falls into RAAC category, in my book. Make it the husband's fault in the end, so the wife can forgive him, and all is well.

Somebody who got deep emotional chatastrophy can behave insecure for a long time. However I agree other commenter, 5 years are too long time to be devatated not to find a other Second Chance for a healthy psyche man . 1-2 years may be, but 5 years are too long.

The only exception is a very strong inclination for DEEP DEPRESSION, which was treated workalcoholic medicin. In this case Donna MUST ASSIST him (as in the wedding wov to help each other in illness). The author's only mistake the healthcare graduate Donna, who is also a Deep Depresion suspected personalty should feel her husband is similar dangered for depression. If both are in that selfknowledge that they are in depression danger the love ECH OTHER WILL BE A BETTER AND THE CHEAPEST MEDICINE. The Author showed a friendly circumtensis (from parents to Pete and Trisha) for Tim and Donna but there are MUCH BETTER antidepressant for example common children's interest.

Donna and Tim was very lucky to find each others as the Hungarian way of saying Evry sack finds its patch.

BTW 5***** and a big kick on Jago's bottom (Pete's was small), I am sorry not Jago but Jake.

Great character development, smooth flowing plot line, TONS of emotion...S-Des, all I ask is DON'T stop writing and submitting stories to Literotica. The trolls all have their heads up their asses and will find something negative no matter what. Thank for another top caliber story!

You stated your structural objectives in chapter 1, and you have achieved them. Thanks. Please write more.

good guy, bad girl......then reversed.....then flip flopped to a lack of communication, TK U MLJ LV NV

After HER violation of his trust she should FOREVER be aware of and sensitive to his misgivings. When she failed to TELL him about Jake's return, she planted again the seeds of doubt.

So, maybe she was NOT fucking her long lost lover. But, that's not to say she wasn't fucking yet another lover.

The protagonists reaction to the set up was completely in character with someone who's trust has been shattered. Shattered trust is why I almost ALWAYS reject reconciliation stories that involve a cheating slut.

Good Tale. Sometimes circumstances have an impact on a relationship. I think this story is a case in point. They were attacked by a pro. Both made mistakes. I think they might make it. Communication is very important as Honesty is # 1. Well written.

I guess I'm in the minority here, but I didn't like this story. It just didn't feel right or give me a goood feeling at the end.

About Donna: Tim got 2 information 1. from Caroline about the wine spilling plan.

He knew the couse for being late was a trick/prank so Jake got knowledge about Donna's lingerie.

2. from the waitress, who assisted Donna with the cloth change. She told it had not been anything and DONNA HAD LOOKED FORWARD EXTREM PLEASURE TO THE ANNIVERSARY WITH TIM AND SHE WAS ENTHUASTIC ABOUT TIM.

This information was too late for Tim.

Donna got cold shower from Tim with his jelousy, and she wanted closed everything becuse of her hurt for the not right accusation.. Both was missinformed about each other.

It is right Donna made the bigger mistake not to mentioned Jake who worked in the Hospital. She should have thought Tim would guess him working in same Hospital so the discovering could couse problems. (Author dramaturgy to do conflict to increase the plot stress).

It is right Tim had a big trust problem in his secret mind, which was svitched on by the telephone. He did big mistake (Author other dramaturgy steps) not to mentioned this telephone to Donna, who would have known she MUST STRENGTHEN THEIR CONNECTION AND NOT TO DO ANY STEP WHICH COULD DECREASE THE TRUST ISSUE...............

Both are such personality who are easy to slide depression so they addicted to each others and their love state working brains (the free of charge antidepressans) attract them for a reconcilation by the friendly circumtensis.

Donna slid depression after the Tim/Jake love problem and her more life was a loneliness, so her Cannossa was HONEST THING FOR THE OTHER DEPRESSION chased personality Tim. Her cheating was not an adultary only a young not married girl mistake, which coused a quick punishment by Jake, so Donna was immunis to become an serial adultress. The Author built the (depression dangered) characters well in the story.

May it be the USA is full of prankers with spouse fidelity???????????? It may be almost the 20th stories with these type prankers......................

Good writer dramaturgy bravur story excellent romantic erotica, which is my favorite. and good happy ending with children plan (also my favorit). Thank you.

BTW Unfortunately I have not enough time to reread longer stories as this is. I reread 800ibgorilla's 8th chapter of "A Beautifull Wish" 4 years ago. (also super romantic erotic story)

@ Kind Author S-Des I am sorry I wanted to write exactly: Unfortunately I have not enough time to read longer stories as this is for assisting the Authors before publishing. I read 800ibgorilla's 8th chapter of "A Beautifull Wish" before publishing 4 years ago. (also super romantic erotic story) 800IBgorilla cut a scen from the original story, I hope for my suggesion (or except for me other readers also recommend this before publishing as well).

I didn't like the ending of this story at all. It seems like everything was blamed on Tim. It was his fault she cheated in college. It was his fault he believed what the jerk told him, even though Donna didn't tell him the old boyfriend was back in town, and the old boyfriend had personal info to prove his claims. Yea, maybe he should have talked to her, but based on their previous history, who could blame him for thinking she was at it again. It felt like the perspective of the story changed from a spouse who had been cheated on, to a cheating spouse justifying her actions. Too bad, it was a good story until then.

is what you get when you hit one out of the park. Take your time circling the bases sir... because you absolutely crushed this one! One of the best I've ever read on this site. And Thank You!

Realistic. This could have happened in real life. Of course, there is always going to be something that one doesn't like about a character, but that is life. Who can predict how any woman or man acts when confronted with the problems outlined in this story.

Look at it this way, for what it's worth, compared to the wimpy trash tales that are dominating the loving wives genre lately, this is a worthy read. Thank you S-Des, your tale kept me coming back until the very end.

I wrote to Đwornock in the chapter 01, because Dwornock had written: Donna had not dated with such guy as Tim was in the colledge. Dwornck, You have some scientific knowledge so it is funny you do not read the newer biological results in the brain investigation. On the productive ages the woman brain smelling capable is much better than the male smelling brain and the woman sexual attraction important part the smelling from the male's body. Not only the ovulation time is important factor, as you wrote once earlier. There are many parts of the sexual attraction for the woman. The woman brain selected from the visual, audio, AND SMELL information and this will be mixed with the male personality and the future possibilities of the candidate for long term mate (children..children...children's future and future of the common children in deep unconcious interest).

Tim's scent was good for Donna, his personality was a insecure virgin an easy prey for an experienced girl, he was a geek with a future mentor (Peter) with good job oportunity. I think the total summ of the unconcious automatic brain algebra was the best candidate mate for her (and the most important for her children future) and she put energy to teach sex for Tim. Here she was spoiled with a wrong time ovulation in her loneliness.

Scent of body is a helping for finding the best partner for the best immun system of the future children. Do not be similar scent of the future mate as there are at the nearer relatives in order to be for better immun and genetic collection for the future children.

Donna gave herself to the ovulation sex cycle and Jake got her . Donna discovered quickly she is not compatible with Jake. I think in that case Jake scent, personality, sex custom and in the involuntary brain algebra for her future children Jake got a big minus at all. She lost Tim and she sunk in the deep depression with her emotional catastropha. Pavlov had been happy with the conditional reflex which built in her brain to learn volurtary automaticly to rule her ovulation cycle for her true mate. (The modern anticoceptives prevents a not waited baby) The long time true love inducated depression assisted to prevent to become adulteress in her future life in the reconcilation. She was not wife at the cheating so after the honest remorseful self penitence DEPRESSION she became the right woman for Tim.

After this she learn to rule her ovulation sex drive to her true mate Tim forever and she will be with high percent likelyhood in the 45% of the wives. She will not be afraid of DNA paternity test results.

I think in Thecelt's interesting story "Special Day" , Moly's brain was ruled by the ovulation cycle once (unfortunately), and Moly learnt to rule her ovolation cycle by her brain for her husband after the birth of not DNA test proof daughter, but this was too late (they was not possibility for more children). Moly became an extrem loyal to Jim and Moly's guilt (she thought it is her secret forever) compensated extrem super sex and extrem super love for Jim.

Conclusion:

Donna and Tim are succesful, when the ovulation cycle ruled Donna's brain in the colledge only once and this was not followed a child from Jake and the followed emotional chatastropha with long time depression to assisted Donna to rule her ovulation cycle by her brain for Tim's (and for their common future children's) benefit to chain her husband for herdelf. This is a good believable reconcilation story, which is assisted the new biological results.

Well written, nicely paced, great character development, a warm and wonderful feel-good ending. . . and yet, I don't get how he can ever totally relax about her being faithful. I loved the story, loved the loveable characters, hated the hateful character, cared a lot about them having a happily ever after ending, but . . .

DP

I was one of those that saw this story as a bit too much, with the kinds of silliness and setups common to the loving wives genre. However, you finally broke from the stereotype. Apparently this is annoying to some of your faithful "loving wives" devotees, who would have loved to see her cheat again and proved their ridiculous theories correct.

Previousy, I commented on the implausibility of some events in this story, especially relating to Tim's choices and behavior. However, overall, the story was well written and cohesive, and maintained interest with suspense and plot surprises. While this last chapter tied up the loose ends, I continued to feel that discomfort over Tim's unbelievability. You are a superior writer and I look forward to your new stories.

Nothing short of incredible as a story. I had a hard time reading this last part, I was sad, I was angry, I wanted to find Jake and give him a sulfuric acid enema, I wanted to bang Tim and Donna's heads together and tell them how stupid they were..in other words, I cared, the sign of a great store.

For those knocking Tim as a wuss or a wimp, he isn't, he is more of a man then any of the BTB crowd could ever be. Tim had a lack of self confidence, one that more then a few men who aren't one of the "hot" crowd have, and it sabotaged him, it led him into believing a gal like Donna could never love a Geek like him. It led him into believing Donna was cheating again and not even questioning what Jake told him, for all his analytic skills as an engineer emotions got him. Tim has shown he is confident and self assured, he succeeds at work, but has this emotional time bomb that hurts him, time and again. It is very easy to say he could overcome it, that he should have just talked about things but when you have a self fulfilling prophesy come to life, like Donna "cheating' on him, it causes a shit storm that is impossible to bring under control. He is a man, but emotions make us act like little kids at times.

Donna is believable as well, talk to pretty girls about what it was like and a lot of them will tell you how hard it was, that a lot of guys they otherwise might be interested in were too scared to ever approach them, and then they spend a lot of time bolstering their ego, telling them they are great, etc....and then they also know that a lot of men approach them because they are hot looking and feel that is all it is, and it is easy to feel like when the looks go a bit, that a man will run.

It isn't surprising, because often people with similar issues do find each other, no one really knows why, and it set them up for a grand guignol as happened here.

I am also a little tired of those complaining the author blames the main character, that he is making him guilty for everything that goes on, and that is simply not true. Donna and Tim come to know what caused them to do as they did, and quite frankly, Tim in his own way was as guilty as Donna in terms of hurt, she let scumbag the jock seduce her (because of her own issues) and his issues refused to let him have the strength to talk to her, rather he ran off like a wounded animal or kid (which he was, mind you), and she didn't have the strength to find him and talk to him back then. In the modern story, his insecurities let him believe that Donna is cheating without thinking Jake is a scumbag who had every reason to lie (it didn't dawn on him, for example, that if Donna was fucking Jake, he would have seen some sign of it). Donna's insecurities makes her not tell Tim about Jake being back in town and Tim has a right to be angry, and yes, there is a logical reason why he would be upset with what happened at the restaurant...but rather then talking to her, his little kid assumes that she is dumping him for an alpha male, and he runs off like a little kid rather then confront her and get some answers (which she could have done, the woman at the restaurant would confirm the wine story, for example). Donna perhaps could have been more forceful after he throws her out in terms of getting in touch with him and making him talk, but her own insecurities probably flared up, too.

The point is, all you BTB and kill the slut types,or those complaining Tim is being blamed, is that there is no blame here, it is two people who make mistakes and hurt the one they love because they have issues; some might think they aren't big, but they are, and they do cause things to cascade. Tim is enough of a man to realize that while it might be logical to think something was going on with Jake, especially since Donna never told him out of fear, he also realized he dealt with it like a hurt little kid instead of a man and took responsiblity for it, which is what an adult does.Donna is not the evil slut, in her case saying she made a bad mistake back then was true and she took full responsibility for it, she never used her fears as an excuse; TIm comes to realize that being a man means taking the bull by the horns and not running away and also when you are married giving the person you love the benefit of the doubt, at least until you have reason not to. The characters are two decent loving people who made mistakes, but they aren't monsters, and the real 'fault' is something made them have those issues, whatever it was, being a geek in a world dominate by jocks or a pretty girl who is led to believe that al the world values is their attractiveness.

S-Def, keep writing, to quote a friend of mine, a musician, having a late dinner in a biker bar down south (don't ask, in full stage wear I might add, classical music style), is asked by the bartender, a dude wearing the leather vest and so forth, what they were dressed like that for, and when she said they had done a classical concert, the bartended banged his fist on the bar and said "Yeah, I just love that shit!"......well, S-Def, I don't have a bar, but I say "I loved that shit!" about this story:)

"After a couple of years of going through some bad depressions, Trisha made me see her preacher. He convinced me that the only way I could learn to live with the guilt I felt was to find someone who reminded me of Daryl; someone who needed help. He told me to treat that person the way I wish I had treated my brother. It was based on something Gandhi had once said to a man who had done something horrible."

..and at that, I temporarily stopped reading, and thought, That's the most intelligent thing I've read in a Literotica story. I've never seen anyone else make that kind of reference, completely reasonable, about that event. WOW. Nicely done.

Stayed up later than I intended to finish it all

I found this last section, where the couple share and neutralise each other's fears and insecurities, the most moving and truthful thing I have read on literotica. You are another writer who transcends the genre and writes something truly memorable. My ususal rule is to "favourite" a writer only if I have "favourited" more than one story series, but this time I am making an exception.

The first--and only--favorite author on my list. This is also the first and only story on my favorite story list. I thought SS06 & DQS1 were good--they are--but you are even better. More stories like this and I'll really be hooked.

I was wondering how you were going to put everything together....

I hope you make money with your skills....

But please don't leave US ;-}.....bill

That was so nicely done. A perfectly plotted, well-told tale. Class, on Literotica.

I absolutely loved this story! Not only was the writing superb, but the story line was captivating. Yes, I am a sucker for happy endings, but this goes far beyond that. I was actually cheering several times. I actually felt so connected to these characters. Thank you for making my week.

the end. Then comment...

Brilliant writing. You are in great company and thank you and all your peers for sharing you hard work, on Lit.

X

I may be a little loopy, it being so long past my bedtime on a school night and all...but I doubt it seriously impairs my judgment. Just a great story. I haven't bothered to read all the comments, but I doubt I can add much of value. II was thoroughly engaged. It kind of frustrated me how so much of the tension in this story came down to miscommunications, secrets, and misunderstandings. But, how often is that the case in real life? The use of foreshadowing was excellent. Really a polished product. I felt like the characters were real, I appreciated the subtle character development (the backstory of the protag and his mother and their flipping the bird tradition is a perfect example-just great). I actually understood the circumstances of Donna's seduction and confusion-it had a realness to it. The verbal assault by the protag on his wife was powerful and painful like nothing I've read on this site before, even from the very best LW authors. Anyway, what more can I say? It's an immediate favorite. I gotta go to bed.

I'm torn because this has been one of the best series I've ever read and I don't want it to end. But this chapter ended on such a perfect note that I hope they just lead a happy "normal" life from here on out

Great story with a great plot! Once started I couldn't stop reading until finished. This could definitely be book material!

S-Des your stories were some of the first LW stories I read on this site and you got me hooked on not their eroticism or humiliation like many seem to like in this genre, but their emotional drama. You are talented with your ability to make the characters feel.

I'm so glad you are back, too many authors drop a couple really good stories and then disappear. Finally to have one come back gives me a little hope.

damn think someone been cutting onions on my keyboard

... but I think it would be much better suited in the "Romance" category. Technically, Donna wasn't actually a "loving" (come on, we all know that really means "cheating") wife. Nevertheless, it was a good "Romance" story even if Donna's reason for cheating with Jake were, at best, shakey. Never did like the "I don't why I did it" excuse in fantasy or real life.

I was searching for a temple throbbing sexy story. But I got hooked on your opening scene where the little brother was shot. So it was a pleasant surprise that I enjoyed your romantic story.

Here i am finishing the story at 1 am and i have school in the morning. Hahaha and im not really regretting it, worth it! Thanks!!

This is truly a heartfelt drama. The memories of my youth came to light in the knee jerk reactions in this phenomenal work. The characters were 3D the description was well rounded and the emotion was as thick as a hero's eulogy.

Its all tims fault-hence all the chicks like it-never mentioned boy friend or going out with him? oh i love this its the best ever(smoke up your ass)- it a good tale and well written but a man bashing story- which all the chicks like- women might have noticed her failure to communicate ex-boyfriend= lying and cheating. so its a chick tale of husband bashing

Second chances for three different people! I also liked S-Des weaving in John, Jenny, and Dani from a previous story. I don't know where I got the idea that Pete was a more normal sized guy or that his wife was not a tiny woman. When the 300 pound Pete beat the crap out of Brad (?) I assumed he was a different Pete. I should have known better - LE authors (seldom ever?) never give two characters the same name, even with minor characters.

Thank you for a very nice story.

Please write us more stories like that one!

So let me get this straight....

Donna cheats on him Jake, then after getting back together Tim she fails to mention Jake is back in town, then after claiming she was working late she's caught having drinks with Jake, Tim gets lied to about her and Jake having an affair and of course freaks out.

Donna then has the fucking balls to be all butthurt about his lack of trust in her ! She is the one who should of swallowed her pride instead of getting pissy imho.

I am surprised that anyone can have anything bad to say about this story. Then again, there are a lot of people who have this BTB mentality, even if it is the worst choice. Tim and Donna grow so much in this story, it is impossible not to want them to make it. I have had a few girlfriends in college. One of them broke my heart, though not as drastic as it happened to Tim. I will tell you, if anyone of you has had a girlfriend who broke your heart in college, then came to you FIVE YEARS LATER to make amends, you would be an incredible idiot throw her out. Add the fact that he never really got over her, this is a heart warming thing. Then on top of that, the fact that their relationship made it through the fire, that makes them so much stronger.

People who have a BTB mentality, even when it isn't deserved, I feel sorry for them. Always being distrustful and unforgiving doesn't make you strong. Forgiveness doesn't make you weak. I got my heart broken, and had to forgive to move on. That doesn't make me weak in the slightest. I learned a lot and that is why I was able to move on and be confident in myself. If you have a BTB mentality that can't be satisfied without some sort of revenge, chances are you haven't moved on past the one who burned you. I barely remember the girl's face who burned me. Chances are every time you read a story about cheating you see the face of the one who burned you. Who is really the wimp?

As for the story, I liked it a lot. It was an EXCELLENT job. I feel this author could have a lucrative future in writing, it that is the path that he wanted to take. I feel in love with both characters. In fact, Jake was the only unlikeable one in the whole series. Great writing. I will look for more of your stories.

We still do not know what she did in the 5 years before she meet up with Tim.

he is trying to take one from S-Des? Go feed Tina or draw a liger you fucking gelding, only stallions are allowed to say who is in the club, not neutered runts, got it?

He is currently being brutally cucked, and not for the first time. During particularly vicious cuckings like the one he is getting now, it is not unusual for these timid she-men to seek refuge in silence.

Carry on.

It's nice to not have things devolve into three ways and group sex for a change. Stories like these are worth the time to read.

I kept worrying that Jake would do something fatal as the end approached... Had me on edge the whole last chapter...

Jake was like a suicide bomber... when someone doesn't care about what happens after, it's amazing the things they can cause... Donna and Tim were beyond lucky to survive not just one but two attacks by him... if they hadn't both ultimately considered the other's welfare as more important than their own, he would have succeeded twice over...

Very nice to read a story like that no matter how much it hurt...

Yes, there is a 'but'.

She had a bit of insensitivity.

She has a history.

She had RECENTLY lied to her husband.

Her husband, whom she KNOWS is a reasonable and loving man, accused her of something with someone she knew. Did she look into things? She tried to talk to her hubby, but he was hurt too much. So...did she try ALTERNATE sources of information? Did she ask Jake? Did she ask Jake's GF? Did she ask the people at the restaurant? Did she ask Peter and Trisha, who KNEW the whole story so she could contradict it?

Because, if Tim told ME what he suspected, I would think he was behaving in a dramatic but reasonable fashion, particularly considering the details scumbag knew.

I think she could have been a bit more sensitive and engaged to save her marriage instead of the 'he won't talk to me and he called me names so I'm dropping him like a hot rock.'.

People took Tim to task for 'running away'. She did too and with less reason. Obviously there was a trigger but she put it all on him to 'fix' things.

So well written. Characterisations, dialog, plot, it has it all.

Very impressed sir. More please?

Is there some reason the most hateful and cruel comments left here are all from anonymous types? Stop me if I'm going too fast, but...if you don't like the story or the types of stories a particular author writes, why read them? I'm really confused here--I honestly thought this forum was to help budding authors with writing skills and things like punctuation, grammar, and syntax. Perhaps to assist if an author has clearly hit a block in the story line, if that is apparent from the writing; not so much to spew vitriol simply because you don't agree with the plot line.

Personally, I'm infinitely more inclined to the "burn the bitch" stories, but that's only personal preference. Most authors are pretty good about identifying what type of story it is in the preface comments, and I just (stay with me here--stop me if I'm going too fast for you) DON'T READ THEM.

Anyone care to enlighten me about this? I truly AM curious about this syndrome.

Also, does writing in all caps and using obscure acronyms and abbreviations make comments more relevant? Or is this the fundamentalist preacher speaking technique (when preaching the Book, speak softly, when speaking personal opinion as if it WERE the Book, pound the podium and shout loudly)?

but what has got in through the cracks of time, TK U MLJ LV NV

to everyone who complains about the story,

this story is in the "loving wives" category. the description of that particular category is: "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more."

now, with that being said, you should have expected everything that fits in that description. wimp. cuckold... you name it.

if you guys are here for the "witch hunt", you might be disappointed seeing that the majority of the story in this section describes it as "being aroused" while the wife have her affair.

i'm just saying that, if you hate cheating stories, avoid "Loving Wives".

i personally don't like it but i try to learn something from it.

How irondragon has the nerve to criticise other writers after posting some of the worst stories on the site.

This was a 5* story.

Lots of drama yet a great read. Thanks for sharing.

It's hard to feel empathy for such a stupid wuss.

And I love a happy ending, but, sheesh, people, TALK to each other!

thank you for such a wonderfull story. some people might not like it, but it tells us one important lession. fear it the real and only enemy. because of fear we make misstakes and act badly.

what i got from this story is, face your own fear, and you will have a happier life. taking to someone, opening up completly, is not easy, even if it is your partner. to open up is to be vulenrable. and being vulnerable is feared. noone wants it. and that is the main reason for lots of problems in our society.

thank you again, keep up the good work.

Great story well siren and was tough to put it down

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't stop writing!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome.

Its long enough to get a feel to it.enough conversations.dialogues were pretty good.plot twists were mind blowing.Easily one of the best stories in this site and the best one i have read.

You need to start taking up some serious writing.

Thanks for the great story.

a very good love story had tears toward the end

It's difficult for me to give 5 *, but this one deserves it...maybe 6 if possible! Congratulations!!!!

The best I've read on this board... Great story.

Thanks,I didn't think they wrote about faithful spouse on Literotica

I don't believe any other writer in the LW genre has explored the possibility that love and commitment can allow a husband and wife to overcome the consequences of infidelity as well as you have. You have not minimized either the pain of betrayal or the corrosive impact of guilt but you have rejected the idea that a man's only appropriate response to a wife's infidelity is to label her a slut before throwing her out the door. There are far too many stories and critics on this site that relish the woman hating bitterness of that approach. I applaud the originality, writing skill, and ethical standards that have taken your stories down a better road. I sincerely hope that you have not stopped posting on this site for you would be sorely missed. P.S. Bringing in John and Jennifer from your earlier work in the last segment was a nice touch.

great story! I only remembered a few "scenes" from my previous reading. Certainly not the last scene(s). This is S-D's most recent Lit. story. It's been less than two years; I hope he/she returns.

Twenty total stars. Just added to my favorite stories and S-Des as a favorite author. "Fools Envy" is also one of my favorites.

I look on these stories like a vacation trip, for me the destination does not matter, what is important is that the trip be enjoyable. I really enjoyed this one.

I admit that classifying it as BTB or RACC would eliminate a lot of readers, so I would argue against labeling stories. This is beautifully done and the ending is not that important. I strongly suggest to the newbies that they go back and read all of

S-Des's contributions. They are impressive.

YOU SURE MAKE A GOOD STORY TELLER LOL...

TIM SORT OF REMINDS ME OF ME WAY BACK WHEN IN THE 60'S

I read this when SD posted it. Has been long enough that I mostly didn't remember the details. I usually don't like RAAC stories, but this one makes sense. Really liked the ending. As others have commented, the writing is superb.

I pretty much expected Donna to divorce Tim, since it was Tim who demanded communication and no secrets, and so on. He comes across as naive and gullible, and Donna is the strong one.

5*

She screwed him over before. Is it really so far fetched that she would do it again? History repeats itself, so it's hard for me to blame Tim for his overreaction.

Self righteous indignation. Personally he would have been so much better off with someone else without the history. Hard to live life not being able to trust.

Pissed me off that there is not a 20 star for me to click. A work of art. KEEP UP THE GREAT WRITING.

It s rare that we have a great story of this caliber. Thank you!

An excellent tale that had me off balance, sad and befuddled.

I skipped several sex scenes just to find out what happened, and you write some hot scenes :)

Definitely a favorite, thanks for sharing.

I don't like the name Daryl, but who shives a git? Tim is still a sap. I hope ass-wipe, Jake, is out of the picture for good. Cheers!

Congrats. Great story. Five out of five. There were a couple of times when I had no idea where this story was headed. Jake's cruel attack in the restaurant was brilliant and almost defeated Tim and Donna. I like how they had to overcome two obstacles, their own history and Jake's second interference. Even though I gave this a five out of five, there were a couple of times with Tim seemed to change his opinion too quickly. But that is a minor quibble. keep up the good work.

I stumbled back over this after having read it when it came out (and then forgot about it). While reading it with new eyes but with a hazily remembered idea of the story I found that I think it's maybe a little too symmetrical. Both the Tim and Donna characters do something foolish for foolish reasons and then torture themselves and then try to redeem themselves in the same way (and yes, BTB Bitches, I know that the actual crimes are different, but the motivation and the reasoning for their responses are the same). It gets to be a little much of a much.

The wraparound does help soften that edge a bit. Though in the end it's just an interesting bit of business that could have been easily cut and the story would have remained more or less the same.

You must have been. NO street drug is that powerful! Something psychotropic, perhaps? Neither of the leads likable/believable, plot thinner than cheap beer and a near omnipotent antagonist? Lordy, Lordy! Literotica must come up with a way to give negative scores.

With the "coworkers confession" so many things don't make sense if it was true so Tim's right she really should have been an actress. Unless you got so excited about the ending you forgot to explain everything? Not sure.

The only part I would have liked to have read would be Pete throwing asshole Jake off a bridge into deep cold water. Love your writing. Don't pay attention to the naysayers. They would bitch if their ice cream was cold.

Enjoyed the tale, liked the characters. The were flawed, but believable and drew the reader into the story line.

Fun ending. Thanks for the good read.

Please keep writing!

There was a scientific study done a number of years ago that asked the question would people rather believe fact or fiction. The conclusion was that the majority of people would rather believe gossip, hear-say, innuendo you name it rather than fact.

In support of this finding you have organized religion, the news media and politics.

George W. Bush convinced the people that Saddam Hussein had nuclear weapons and they believed him and supported him. WHY because they heard what they wanted to hear!

I think that since this study under mines politicians big time it has been hard to fine.

Authors who complain about the comments they have received, might take time and find this study

The wrapper about Pete and Daryl and the later passage about insecurity and not wanting to accept a doormat near the end saved a weak story.

Even after being dressed up nice, it's still a story that sounds like it's out of the 50's. Jock takes the nerd's girl? Really? In the mid 90's? Sorry, sounds like old people writing for old people. By the mid 90's jocks were getting tribal tats and trying to fit in with the metal heads or the alternative rocker crowd. By the mid 'aughts when the story concludes, the culture had already shifted and the jocks were just part of the crowd waiting to see what the nerds did next since they were in control of pretty much everything. Hell, by then there weren't many pure jocks around. Athletes sure, but jocks in the stereotype sense? Not so much... Certainly not enough to hold this Biff Tanner / Marty McFly tale together.

This complete story is a roller coaster ride, but a well written one that was enjoyable to read.

how great the story and writing was (is).

Thanks again for sharing on Lit.

x

It is well written with excellent prose and dialogue. The characters are flawed but likable and show good development over the course of the story. The emotions that he felt when she betrayed him and cheated on him just as he was about to propose are portrayed well as is his sense of utter devastation.

The author dug a hole which seemed to be insurmountable but wrote so well that reconciliation was believable and welcomed even though the reader was made to feel that her traitorous actions were unforgivable.

The second episode of 'cheating' was a great addition and I for one believed something was up but didn't quite either if you know what I mean!

Please produce more stories of such quality for this site as this seems to be your last one for over 3 years.

...you got the Emotions dead on !!

Third or fourth time reading hasn't reduced the effect your story has on me.

Thanks for a brilliant 'read' - keep on,keeping on !!

Still five stars. One of the best. Emotional ending. I like how well you developed these characters.