All Comments on 'Secret No Longer Ch. 08a'

you play crappy games this the score you get.stop the bullshit and write the dam story or don't write.

Firstly, I would ignore the comments from the previous dunderhead. He sounds like the type that if there's no fucking within the first or second sentence of a story, it's no good. But that being said, you are a bit wordy in your prose.

Secondly, and the main reason I write, there appears to be a quite dramatic continuity break in the story between ch. 7 and 8a. At the end of chapter 7, Linda was standing in front of her son's door in her sexy black blouse and tight pants as the door knob was turned from the inside. Jumping on to the beginning of chapter 8a, we find Jason in the kitchen and seeing his mother for the first time in the very same sexy outfit. Something doesn't fit.

incredible story and well paced. Thank you.

Actually, at the end of Ch. 07 Linda is still inside her bedroom, having just gotten into the sexy outfit. I'll check over the wording and see if I might submit an edition of the story that makes that clearer.

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Thanks for the pointer.

SWCa.

Don't let the idiots grind you down.

I think it's a darn good story and moving nicely. It's certainly better than a story that starts fucking in chapter 1 and goes to chapter 56 with nothing but fucking. At least this story has a degree of suspense to it.

Like many others I have been patiently waiting for the next installment. And, I will be patiently waiting for chapter 8b. And, for chapter 8c or 9 whichever. Please don't become discouraged and say to hell with it. Do it exactly like you want to and if someone doesn't like, well....

The wait is killing me!

*****

You wrote: "this part of the story will actually span two chapters; so I'll be numbering them as part a and part b of chapter 08. I'll be submitting the two close together; with any luck, they'll show up, if not simultaneously, then at least close to it."