All Comments on 'Secrets'

Great start to a story but the comment about not seeing what's coming like the reason why, not true, almost guaranteed its because she wants him but is ashamed of her feelings. Still not a bad story at all.

I couldn’t read this. The dialog is excruciating the grammar and punctuation worse.

Sorry. I know it’s a first attempt, but if you want to put out a short tease like this it has to be much better written. The grammar is very poor, there is no characterisation and little in the way of intrigue.

She's a hermaphrodite

For someone who's literate, reading a story that seems to be written at a 4th or 5th grade level is like being stuck behind a slow-moving vehicle on the freeway.

Don't make excuses to try to justify your mistakes: correct them. And if your excuse is that "This is my first attempt...", then maybe you simply aren't prepared to share your work. So try again, when you are.

I think I like where this could go so please don't stop now

Thank you for your comments even though most of them are negative I tried to get an editor I messaged 4 different ones and waited a week and got no reply so I downloaded a spell checker and gramner app my first story is what's gunna help me become better as much as I hate negative comments its your opinion and I respect you for telling me what you think to the people that liked it I got 5 or 6 parts ready just got to send them in

To see where this goes. It is just like the weekly Batman series of the 60s or 70s short with a cliff hanger. And that writing wasn’t strong either.

Please continue the story of truth or dare !!!!!!!!

nipples on 1 tit and 1 nipple on the other

A little predictable but otherwise its not a bad tease, Hope to see more soon. The more you write the easier it becomes and the better you get

With that said I'll try and work harder or that for my next story if I make one I've got this story to fully sunbit all ready to go just waiting on approval from literotica doing it one at a time

I said go on a try and guess weird guesses but my brain is weird but it hasn't been guessed yet thank you to the people who give constructive critism but not flat out saying that I basically suck at writing no one can please every single person in the world not even Jesus so give me a break would you

That is not a valid excuse for not knowing that quotation marks are NOT optional. This very, very, very basic concept should be known by anyone past the age of 10.

I think she is a hermaphrodite.

Good start. Please continue.

Unreadable due to missing quotes. That's not grammar, it basic English.

If you have read ANY book or story at any time in your life, you know this is NOT how to write a story; punctuation and quotations are there for a reason. You can buy a book on eBay about it.

Obviously written by a ten year old prepubescent boy.

USE IT!!!

I am having some difficulties reading your prose. The lack of attention to detail, to wit: punctuation, makes following your story extremely hard.

Really? What’s this story even dude. Leaves off on a terrible ending, has no development and the writing blows. Please use proper punctuation. We learn that very early on, don’t forget it. Hate to be harsh but there’s no reason to post a rough draft much less a junk draft.