by PenIsMightier1
It's fairly good. There's a lot of good description in the story, but you need better editing. It's good, and you obviously have some talent, but there are some errors that with good editing could turn it into a better story, one a little easier to read.
I liked it, caught my attention and bounced along nicely. Agree with the previous comments about editing - just needs a good proof read before submission.
Enjoyed seeing the seed of submission being sown early on, going to be interesting to see how that develops in the next installment.
Thank You For A Sexciting Story. My Panties Were Dripping Wett By Time Penny & Sonja Kissed In The Cafe.
I Guess I'm Just A Softie For That First Seduction & Kiss
Kisses
Kathy F
Love it! The ending was delicious ..... love Penny climbing over Sonja after she cuffed her .... ~sigh~
Dear Miss Penis (pronounced pen-a ) Lovely piece--liked the imagery and timing---the way you inject some humor makes it feel more genuine. Keep up the good work, I look forward to more submissions from you.
I hope you will write a second installment of Penny and Sonja... loved the seduction and passion. Look forward to reading more from you!
I love the way you teased with the interrupted encounter after the cafe. It helped to make the whole story a steady progression toward the incredibly hot climax.
I think this story has brain-washed me. For some reason, I can't help myself but call someone, Miss.
It was beautifully written, with loads of details, I like lots of detail where I can drift of into my own world. I re-read a few times where Penny leads Sonja to her bedroom, and when she saunters towards her on the bed swinging the hand cuffs...mmm, very sexy. I can say, hand on my heart, that there was a twitch in my knickers. I look forward to the next instalment.