Segun

A shiver ran through me, and I trilled again. Even though it is a vulgar sound in respectable society, I cannot stop it. My yonsu was near, and I needed him.

He heard me and tried to climb into the cart. No. This is bad for him. I'm on my way to Shaming, and he should not make this display because that will get him in trouble.

"Go away," I hissed. The fiercest cramp I ever had wracked my body, and I drew my knees to my chest as my heat struck in full force. This is wrong. My heat usually crept up on me slowly. I thought Papa said I was going into heat to stop the guardsmen from taking me. I was wrong.

"Move along," said the jerk guard. "Or we'll take you in too."

A frustrated sound comes from my yonsu's throat.

"Don't you dare harm him," he said. "I saw your abuse. I will report you if you harm him in any way."

"Yeah, and who are you?" challenged the cart driver.

"Aulkus Wren," he said. "I'm sure you've heard of my House."

Silence gripped the guardsmen then because the House of Wren was powerful. Not as powerful as mine, but close. If they lived in Kiji Ost, they would be one of the Upper Houses of our city.

"I'll find you," he whispered. And then his scent receded, and I was alone in a night that grew colder by the minute.

My mind became a haze of need and want. All I could think of was that voice and scent, and I curled into myself as one cramp after another struck my body. I may have trilled several times, but I'm not sure as I'm not sure of the events of the rest of the night. There was torchlight, fetid smells, and the clang of metal as time crawled in jumbled thoughts, pain, and want. Dimly I was aware I was in the basement of the church, behind bars, and I writhed on an unyielding stone floor covered in damp straw. This should disgust me, but I had other things, or rather, one man on my mind.

I should not be here. They should have left me home where I could sequester myself in our sanctuary room and ride out my heat. It would be a week of bodily torture, but not this, not the urgent, relentless need that filled me since I met the man that would father the child my body demands of me. Now I was half mad with craven lust and cannot abate any of this.

I grabbed my rock-hard dick and pulled on it, whining in frustration as I futilely pumped my flesh. This would not help, and I knew it, but I could not stop. My heat will continue its relentless quest for fulfillment, and I can only climax when my yonsu takes me. His scent hung in my nose, and I smelled nothing else.

In desperation, I fingered my wet entrance, questing for a spot I knew there but could not reach. I howled as tears streaked down my cheeks in my distress. I rocked, seeking release. This was unbearable, and I repeatedly yowled, calling to the only man who could relieve me of this cruel biological imperative.

Other prisoners cried out to be quiet. Were they talking to me? I don't know or care because all I want is my yonsu.

Aulkus, Aulkus, Aulkus, my mind cried. My only hope was his final words, "I will find you."

But that was impossible.

And I howled to the heaven cursing the god that made me and then abandoned me to the cruelty of my body and humanity.

Chapter Six

Aulkus

At night, we see lights in the hills beyond. I will lead what men are strong enough to find out from where the lights come. We have no choice. Despite the warnings that pure Ostakian foodstuffs could be dangerous to consume, I've made Jackson the scout captain and sent him and a team out to hunt and scavenge what they can from the land.

And that's when we found them. How could they have eluded the Colcorp terraform scouting team? They are shorter and squatter, and their manner is innocent and gentle. There doesn't seem to be a female among them. Maybe they hide them in the desert? Their language is utterly foreign, but they are whip-smart and have picked up words in English already. There is one, Onikoah, who seems to be the leader. The others of his kind call him yonsu with a grating inflection that I cannot match. He calls me yonsu as well in the few words we can exchange. Onikoah insists on spending time with me when he and his group appear in the colony, and I look forward to his visits. And it's not for the food they bring us, though that is very welcome.

Journal—Captain Winston Veller, Governor, Ostakis Colony

When I returned to the hotel, Sela was especially happy to see me. In bed, she touched me and made it clear what she wanted. But ungodly man that I was, I had zero interest.

"We haven't received the blessing yet," I said. "It is late, has been a long day, and I'm tired."

"Of course," said Sela though her voice dripped with bitter disappointment, but I don't care. Segun's scent lingered in my nose, and my only thoughts were of him. This is a sin for a churched man like me, even if I am a heretic. I never thought that a Cursed would seize my thoughts this violently. I spent overlong in the water closet, relieving myself while I obsessed over his scent and voice. This caused me to lie to Sela when she asked why.

"Travel," I grunted as I turned my back to her. "Binds me."

"Of course, husband. Sleep well."

But I do not. The bed is a torture rack because my body refuses to calm. I go to the bathroom several times and experience the joy and frustration of my desire for Segun.

My father kept a devout house. No one talked about this. No Wren man had lain with a Cursed. Stories abound of how the Cursed "incite men to sin," but my heart bursts with what I can only describe as love for the young man. I'm sure, however, that either of the Reverends Sharr would call it crass lust. They would demand I do penance, apologize to my wife, and beg her to take me unto her bosom so her love could cleanse me.

Would say that it was so simple, but it is not. I cannot let go of thoughts of him, of how his scent enlivened me, or sent shivers of ice and fire through my body as my manhood throbbed.

After the third time I rose for the bathroom, my wife stirred.

"Aulkus, what is the problem?"

"Travel loosens me."

"It was probably the hot spices in that dinner we had. I am nauseous myself. Please, Aulkus, come to bed."

I did, and she tried to touch me again. But while a mere whisper of thought of that young man stroking me makes my body burn hotter than a reddened fireplace poker, she cannot stir me. I was ashamed because I've spent myself with idle pleasure and turned aside the woman to whom I gave holy vows.

This is ridiculous and insane; I must do something to correct this. I cannot lay in bed thinking about a Cursed man while my wife lays next to me unfulfilled. Nothing is more sacred to the church than a husband and wife bringing forth children. I was a craven, debauched sinner, due for eternal torment if I do not confess and repent my sins.

Maybe I deserve this, but my wife does not, and I try my hardest to shove Segun aside in my thoughts. I bend my thoughts to her skin softer than lambs' wool, her round breasts that would delight any man, and the fullness of her hips—nothing.

In a rare affection, Sela lay her head against my shoulder blades.

"Sleep, husband," she whispered. "I know what bothers you."

My heart raced with the speed of a racing hound breaking from the gate. Did she know? Oh, dear Lord, she cannot, can she? I lay waiting for her to speak the words that would flay my debauched soul and reveal me to be a disgrace to my House in all ways. In the dark, she spoke.

"We have not received the blessing yet. Forgive me. The novelty of coming to Kiji Ost enlivened me."

Oh, dear merciful Lord. My breath released as a sigh. My secret is safe, and my sin is hidden.

"There is nothing to forgive. It is I that beg your forgiveness. Kiji Ost affects me adversely."

"I know," she whispered in a scandalized tone. "There are sinful things here. I saw the Cursed messenger driving about. I cannot believe they wander the streets freely here. It would upset any righteous man."

"You are right. I am upset."

Nothing pleases a woman more than telling her she is right, even if my words conveyed a different meaning to her. She turned and started snoring, and I lay on my bed sweating. My body lay stiff as a plank catching only uneasy snatches of sleep.

I rose from the bed in the morning light and took a cold bath to relieve my sweat and odor. The chilly water restored some sanity to me, especially after I rinsed my nostrils. Kiji Ost's heat exhausted my body, and I was a wreck with no sleep. But this is the first day of the Festival, and the streets will be crowded, so Sela and I will sell wine, and tomorrow we will receive our blessing and then return home to Kiji Amst after banking the money. Though there were fees for this that I despise, my father insists as it is insurance against highway thieves.

I dressed and gave Sela the bathroom.

A knock at the door gave way to a Cursed who entered with a tray of food and tea. I looked at him, with his hair tied in a bun as Cursed often do and his body slighter, his shoulders less bulky than an Ostakian man, and saw nothing that attracted me.

Why does Segun stir me so?

"Your breakfast and day meal, Yonsu." He set the tray on the table by the window overlooking the street. "Sandwiches are wrapped for your daymeal."

"I did not order that."

"It's part of the room service for Festival, yonsu. The restaurants will be jammed. So many people, even my cousin who does not leave the house, are pressed into service at my uncle's restaurant during the Festival."

"The service of your Establishment honors me," I said.

He bowed.

"My master is pleased that his Establishment serves House Wren."

I handed him a handful of coins for his tip.

"Yonsu," he objected. "This is too much."

I saw fear in his eyes, and with a jolt, I realized my error. A Cursed man working in a public place must be subjected to unwelcome advances. I can imagine these because, apparently, now I'm an evil man. In my mind's eye, I see a yonsu pushing him into a closet or forcing him to the bed in the room and demanding something not his to ask.

Coins would be given, and the yonsu taking advantage would imagine the Cursed wanted his attention for money or sex. Yet, the poor Cursed soul could not object, not offer a social error that would dishonor his employer. This thought angered me because I would kill the man that tried this with Segun. How could I not empathize with this Cursed man before me?

"I only wish to reward your current service to my House. Understand?"

"Yes, Yonsu," he said with relief. "I thank your House. This is most generous."

"Then Walk in His Holy Ways," I said.

"I endeavor, always, to do so." He bowed and left.

Sela walked from the bathroom in her robe, drying her hair with a towel.

"Who was that?"

"The porter. He brought us breakfast."

She turned an eye to the offering and then shook her head.

"I'm not hungry."

"You should eat. We'll be outside all day with no reprieve. You need your strength."

"I'm not hungry," she snapped.

Never in a year has she spoken so brazenly, and it shocked me.

"Sela!" I said sharply.

"Sorry, Yonsu," she said, hanging her head. "Please forgive me. I don't know what came over me."

At her pitiful expression, I relented because I didn't want to distress her even if she spoke ill.

"Don't worry about it. Travel is always stressful."

"I'm not a good wife to you," she said.

What is it with her recriminations lately?

Chapter Seven

Segun

From the sins of our fathers came the abominations we called the Cursed. In each Ostakian the curse of that sin lives, and the only way to exorcise it is through prayer, and devotion to the church. But it is plain that man is not pious enough, and the Cursed still walk among us.—Sermon before the Festival, Most Reverend Gyenn Sharr.

Aulkus, Aulkus, Aulkus, my mind sings until light breaks into this odorous, dank place.

"Will we at least get something to eat?" called one prisoner as a body passed by my cage.

"I'm thirsty," called another.

"Quit it. Not until after," said the guard.

After what? I thought, and then I remembered the Shaming. I wanted to finish it so I could go home and wait for Aulkus. I know he'll come. He has to.

"You first," said the guard as keys jangled at the lock of my cell. This was good. First, Shamings were milder than what came later. Gathering what wits I could, I stood, though my bones ached from the night on the stone floor, and my stomach and balls were on fire from the constant cramping during the night.

"Come along," snarled the guard as if it were within my control to walk. I wondered why the man didn't respond to my heat, as any would, but then I noticed plugs up his nose. Of course. These holy men couldn't take the chance of corrupting their souls by suffering attraction to a Cursed.

He dragged me along as I stumbled and stubbed my toes as we climbed a steep stone stair leading into a hallway. Two more guards took charge of me then, hauling me from under my arms out another hallway. I spied the Church's public courtyard through the doorway, a wide square bordered by three walls by the wide "u" of the church. The fourth side was a tier of stairs that led to the wide church plaza. Against the northern wall was the body of the church proper, filled with a rectangular window of stained glass depicting the holiness of the Most High One. Here ran the walkway that led to the raised dais that cradled the Shaming post, a cross that stood straight and unyielding. They locked my wrists to iron cuffs at either end of the crossbeams and spread my legs to meet cuffs at my ankles as the gathered black-robed crowd of penitents jeered.

"Sinner!"

"Abomination!"

"Devil's Spawn," and all manner of unoriginal insults. It's nothing I hadn't heard before, just more vehemently hate-filled. Fear filled me because penitents had "gotten out of hand" and ripped the Cursed from the post.

But Gyenn Sharr arrived, whip in hand, and the crowd quieted.

"Let us pray," he said.

"Glorious Father, redeemer of souls, I come to you to confess my sins. I know all men are sinners, and temptation plagued me. I beg your forgiveness. Unburden me of this pain. Pass your judgment so I may spread your glory to others. I seek this of you in your eternal light, oh Giver of your Supreme Love. Anoint your faithful servant with your holy kindness. Amen."

Sharr held out his arms.

"Today, we all participate in the redemption of the souls of the Cursed among us. Only in shaming the body can we cleanse the soul of those born to and in sin. Today, we have the Cursed child of the Trademaster of Ostakis, Segun Klath, who seeks redemption. And in his first ritual Shaming, my son, Reverend Sharr, will administer it."

My gut clenches. Not Thyenn, that pompous ass that sat in my father's office and insulted us all.

"Sharr, Sharr, Sharr," the crowd chanted, and the younger Sharr walked on the stage in his heavy cleric's robes and strode to the dais like he was a headliner from the theater. His father handed him the whip, and he stepped close to me. I became very aware of his manly musk, which made me recoil. He smelled foul and unwholesome, and my heat-enlivened body jerked but was held fast in my bindings. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted his nostrils flaring. The fool didn't bother with nose plugs. Did he think himself above sin?

The first blow hit on my buttocks, landing a mild sting. But unfortunately, in my state, any touch would stir me, and my cock filled. I struggled, enraged that this stimulation would rise my manhood, and I wanted to strike him. I hissed with fury, and Sharr's eyes widened.

"Take your punishment, Cursed, without your cheek, or it will get worse for you," he snarled.

He landed another blow, harder this time, and pain shot through me. I clenched my teeth so as not to make a noise, but something unfortunate happened. My natural lubrication leaked, spreading the scent of my heat through the air. Sharr's eyes widened even more, and because of his nearness, I could see the bulge under his robes. I had aroused him, and there was no telling what would happen next.

Sharr began whipping me fiercely, trembling with each blow as if striking me would excoriate his sin in responding to me. I heard Sharr's father calling for him, but he did not pay attention and kept swinging that arm, and wave after wave of pain rolled through me, and I gasped for each breath.

"Stop!" a voice called.

Was it the elder Sharr? No. And a set of heavy boots thumped on the dais, and incredibly, it was Aulkus. My Yonsu.

"Who is this?" demanded Sharr. "Wren?"

The crowd booed and hurled epithets at Aulkus.

"That's Yonsu Wren to you, Reverend Sharr. You've gone beyond your mandate from Shaming to torture. That is not allowed by Church Law."

"Not yet," hissed Sharr. "But it should be."

The elder Sharr hurried over to us and shot a worried glance at the restless crowd. "He's right," whispered the Most High Reverend. "Declare this over, Thyenn."

Thyenn Sharr gave Aulkus a glance that would shrivel grapes on the vine. Aulkus Wren humiliated him this day. Most likely, my yonsu would suffer for it.

Chapter Eight

Aulkus

In the hills, we found caves, but what's more, signs of habitation. The men mutter amongst themselves that ColCorp sent us to a ghost planet, that is one that was colonized before, but the colony failed to thrive. But we see no humans. This is a mystery.

Journal—Captain Winston Veller, Governor, Ostakis Colony

"Guards, arrest him," shouted Thyenn Sharr, and before I knew it, strong arms grasped me on either side.

"Thyenn," said the elder Sharr quietly enough so the crowd would not hear him. "You know who this is."

"I do," said Thyenn. "The son of Bacchus Wren, the vintner."

"He's a rich man."

"And should a rich's man son be allowed to defy the authority of the church?" Thyenn Sharr's voice was full of scorn and hate, and I worried for the young man hanging from the Shaming Post, panting. His eyes were nearly turned up in his head, and I feel bad for him. From the state of his tented wraps, he's being Shamed against Church law during his heat. I was furious about this because the priests of the Faith Progressive Church demanded obedience to Church Law, and Thyenn Sharr flouted it here.

Hypocrite.

Gyenn Sharr's face remained the passive reflection of utter calm, but his voice carried a hard edge as he continued to argue with his son.

"Do not make me gainsay you, Thyenn, in front of his crowd."

"And when we do not stand up to sinners, we become complicit with them."

Gyenn sighed heavily.

"Aulkus Wren, apologize for interrupting this proceeding, and I shall lay the hand of forgiveness upon you."

I should. My father will be mortified when he learns of my antics this day. A simple apology will save me from hours of lectures and my father's considerable wrath. And I look at the trembling young man on the Shaming Post nearly out of his head in his misery, and I cannot. There is no way I will condone this treatment of this Cursed who did nothing wrong other than getting birthed of a Cursed parent.

"No."

Gyenn Sharr's face drew tighter.

"What?"

"You heard me. No. I will not countenance this treatment of a Cursed when he's being Shamed in defiance of Church Law."

"I told you, Father," said Thyenn. He wore a self-righteous smirk that I wanted to wipe off with my fists. "Defiant."

Gyenn Sharr, now put on the spot for my audacious disobedience, nodded. "Take him to a holding cell."