All Comments on 'Semi-Permeable Monogamy'
by eidetic
- 16 Comments
Many_Memoriesalmost 6 years agoThe only question that I have is "When is Chapter 2 (and 3 thru about 10) coming out?
Anonymousalmost 6 years agothat this is not finis but just the first chapter of many to come! You need to write several more chapters to include him and his wife and together with his lover! So many possibilities. Your descriptions of their love making is verrrry good! Please consider writing more chapter!
Thanks!
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoNice story. I really liked the opening part, the older, more experienced guy getting bowled over by the uninhibited sexuality of the college girl. But then it turns out the guy is a virtuoso master of female orgasms---if he does say so himself---who proceeds to give her thirty? forty? I lost count. The story is sweet---his attention to her, her amazement, the whole business with his wife---I guess it's just the first-person god-who-can-do-no-wrong narrator that I find off-putting. (But that's just me.Take it with a grain of salt.)
One grammatical pointer. Please review the rules about quoting direct speech. If the quoted speech of single speaker goes on for more than one paragraph, only the final paragraph should have a closing quotation mark. You violated this rule a couple times, and it made me think that the other person was talking.
JJJJeffalmost 6 years agothe premise of the young woman falling for the older guy makes for a good story line and it's a hot story.
but why did the guy's wife jump at the chance for a FFM threesome? ~wink~
yes, that could be the next installment.
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoIt took considerable self control not to come on the keyboard!
UltimateHomeBodyalmost 6 years agoHowever his return home was totally out of character for the married couple. They are a sexual pair and I suspect quietly having a drink in the kitchen would be post coitus, not first. They barely gave a kiss on the cheek. So wrong. Re-uniting after weeks apart would have made his hotel room hookup like just shaking hands. You lost great opportunity in this story. The video would not have come up for at leasr 24 hours, for round 8 to start.
I went away a lot for work so have some idea of returning home. Just never got the bits while away.
NonSequitourover 2 years agoI've seen some hot swimmers; but none had "amazing tits", much less ones that she could ever be "sucking my own nipples." The guy must be Superman to hold out as long as he did; but it didn't keep it from being a Super Hot Story.
She Comes First is not just a slogan. The more effort you put into your partner's pleasure; the more you get back with interest.
OldFloridaGuy9 months agoBeyond excellent! A great take on the often poorly done road-warrior tales. Well done!
eidetic@eidetic
