Sensitive Research - Discoveries 02

JJ sat, and I did the same, looking at Maggie and wondering what she had said to JJ about me.

"It's really Judith Jackson," she explained to me, "but it's been JJ to pretty much everybody other than my grandmother since I was a toddler. She still calls me Judith."

As I looked at her, I realized just how attractive she was. There was some kind of magnetism to her; not a brashness or sense of overconfidence, but something that just drew you in to her. Maggie jumped in. "JJ is a friend of mine from UCLA, she's in the Sociology Department but mostly teaches in the Gender Studies program, and we served on the Faculty Senate together a few years ago."

"Oh, you're an academic as well?"

"Yes, and Maggie was just telling me that you've been good friends since grad school," JJ said.

"We certainly have," I said, smiling over at Maggie, who winked back. "We supported each other through grad school and have ever since."

"That's so nice to have such a good friend for so long," JJ said. "I have to say, I'm a little jealous. I wasn't really close to anyone in grad school, and haven't made many friends here at UCLA other than Maggie."

"How come?" I asked her.

"Well, I've pretty much kept my nose to the grindstone since I started as an assistant professor, focusing on starting my career and earning tenure. I just received tenure last year, so I'm starting to try to get my life back again," she said, laughing.

"Oh, I understand that one," I agreed, "I have to admit -- and Maggie chides me about this all the time -- that I don't have much of a life outside of my work. It's something I need to work on, but it's going to have to wait until after my current study is over, I'm afraid."

"Oh, you mean your BDSM study?" she asked.

I looked at her, a little surprised to hear that she knew about it. "Yes, that study. I assume Maggie just told you about it."

"Actually, no, not just now," she clarified. "Maggie had told me about it a few months ago."

"Oh, okay," I said, looking questioningly at Maggie.

She saw me looking at her. "Oh, dear, when you first told me about it, I shared it with JJ as I thought she'd be interested."

I now turned to JJ. "Oh do you work on this topic?" I asked, thinking that she may be a valuable resource to inform the work that my research assistant Tara and I were doing.

"Well, I haven't done any empirical research yet, but I've read a lot of the literature on the topic, because now that I've been tenured, I was thinking about possibly doing some work in this area."

Maggie jumped in with a laugh. "JJ, hon, reading '50 Shades of Gray' doesn't count as reading the literature!"

JJ laughed back at her. "I wouldn't read that piece of shit, it's way below me," she said with a sneer.

"So what is your area of research, if I may ask?"

"I mostly work on group formation in the digital era, how different communities of people with common interests come together via social media and digital technologies. And I've done a lot of work on oppressed communities, including a lot of LGBTQ groups," she explained.

"Oh, so looking at BDSM groups would be a logical extension?" I asked.

"Yes, and it's an idle curiosity of mine," she added.

I was intrigued by what she just said, but decided I didn't want to pursue what she meant by that. I said to her instead, "Makes sense, I guess."

"Yup, and that's why when Maggie told me about your study, I was very curious about it," she said, "and you, I should add. I thought I was going to have to wait until you published, but I've had the good fortune to bump into you here," she went on, smiling.

I looked at her smiling at me and thought to myself, "God, she is adorable." She had one of those smiles that spread across her entire face. I caught hold of myself, thinking about how I was reacting to another woman this way. I wasn't as shocked as I would have been a couple of months ago, before my experiences in Chicago. But I was still compartmentalizing what happened there, and hadn't thought about whether I really was attracted to women beyond my submissive experiences I had had with the two women in Chicago.

At that point, I heard the first few beats of "Love Shack" come on the sound system, and immediately Maggie grabbed my hand. "C'mon Susan, another one of our favorites from grad school!" She all but yanked me out of my seat, and as I rose, she grabbed JJ's hand with her other and pulled her up to join us. "You too."

JJ and I complied and followed Maggie back to the dance floor, and we immediately started dancing in a triangle. Maggie and I knew the words by heart and we sang along at the top of our lungs as the three of us circled each other. I could feel the effects of the almost three glasses of wine I had consumed, but I know they also helped me feel a little more uninhibited, and I was enjoying the gyrations on the dance floor.

I looked over at JJ, and saw that she moved very well, like a natural dancer. I was mesmerized watching her hips swing around, and couldn't help but stare at her firm, full ass when she turned around. Her large breasts had a little jiggle in her dress, but not all that much considering I was pretty sure she was braless.

The three of us danced to two more songs, laughing and singing along. During the third song, JJ put her hands on Maggie's hips, and started dancing directly with her. Maggie just went along and seemed very comfortable with it all,.

After the third song was up, the three of us headed back to the table, exhausted from the exertions. Maggie and JJ were walking ahead of me, each of them with a hand around the waist of the other. As I watched the two of them together, I wonder if there was something about Maggie I didn't know.

We had no sooner plopped ourselves down in our seats then Maggie turned toward JJ and said, "Hey hon, I have to go pee now, do you want to join me?"

She replied, "Actually, I do have to go." She leaned down to grab her purse, and as she did, I could see down her impressive cleavage, confirming for me that she was not wearing a bra as I could just make out the tops of her areola, a couple of shades darker than her mocha-colored skin. As she stood back up and my eyes followed her, I saw Maggie holding her purse and looking at me with a broad smirk on her face. It was clear that I was busted, as she had to have seen me staring at JJ's tits. "How about you, Susan, you need to go again?" she asked.

"No, I'm good, thanks," I replied. As the two of them walked to the bathroom, I took another couple of sips of my wine, finishing it off. I was definitely feeling a bit of a buzz, three glasses of wine being more than I usually drank at one sitting. I looked at my watch and saw it had just hit 10:30pm.

*******************

I rotated on my knees and scooted toward her. Her knees were up and spread apart, providing me with ready access to her pussy. As I bent down, I could see that dampness was already glistening on her labia, confirming for me that she had gotten aroused dominating me the way that she had. I began slowly licking her inner thigh, feeling the softness of her skin. I let my tongue travel from halfway between her knee and her crotch, first on one side, then the other.

After a few minutes of this, I felt her hands grabbing my hair and pulling me into her crotch. "That's enough teasing you little bitch," she said, "now start on my cunt." I did as she commanded, extending my tongue, and running it up and down first the outside and then the inside of her outer labia. I certainly hadn't had a lot of experience with women's genitalia -- besides my own, I had only been intimately acquainted with that of Lady Amber, one of her clients, and my research assistant Tara. But as I tongued her labia, I was impressed with their size and prominence, much larger than my own or those of the other three women with whom I had been. As I worked I felt her fingers stroking my scalp under my hair.

After laving each of her outer labia, I took each one into my mouth, sucking on it gently at first, but then with more pressure. She must have liked this, as I heard her sighing. "Oh, you are a good little pussy licker, I just knew you were going to be good at this," she said, as I felt her spread her legs even further, providing me with more access.

I continued on her labia for a bit, and then stuck my tongue out as far as it would go and began pushing it into her pussy. By this point she was absolutely sopping wet, her pussy juices leaking out of her. As I realized the state of her arousal I weirdly became less ashamed of any mark I may have left on her sheets from when she was spanking me; clearly, whatever I had done was going to be eclipsed by her dripping onto this spot here.

After a few minutes of exploring her pussy, I lifted my tongue upwards and found her clit. Like her labia had, it felt huge, almost like a mini cock. I tongued it, and with my first contact, I felt her lifting her body up to increase the pressure. I could sense she must have been getting close to an orgasm, as I could feel her breathing getting deeper and her body beginning to move around the bed some. I rolled my tongue around her clit for a bit before I moved up just a fraction and sucked the clit between my lips.

"Yes, that's it, you little slut, suck it hard." I complied, pulling it with my lips away from its hood, squeezing it hard. I continued like this for just another minute before I felt her body tense and her fingers pulling hard on my hair. "Oh god, oh shit, that's so good," she was screaming, and her body started bucking off of the bed. It was everything I could do to stay attached and ride her orgasm with her as it coursed through her body.

As she started to come down, she released my hair, and I let go of her clit from my lips. I pulled back a bit, and began gently licking her juices from the inside of her thigh.

"That's a good girl, you clean me up like the little whore you are," she said, laughing just a bit. I was feeling the same sensations I had felt when Lady Amber had first dominated me -- that sense of shame and humiliation at the same time I realized I had never been so turned on in my life. I felt as if I could just put my fingers on my own clit and flick it for only a few seconds I'd be able to cum. But I knew enough about submission to know that my orgasm belonged to her, not me.

After a few minutes of licking her thighs, she pushed me away from them, and scooted back a bit toward the headboard. I sat on my haunches below her on the bed, looking up at her. "Oh, that was very good, a very nice orgasm," she praised me. "How many women have you been with?" she asked.

"Only three, Mistress," I replied, "and only once with each of them."

"Well you're certainly a natural. I've learned that some women are like that. Even in their first time with another woman they know exactly what to do." She patted a spot next to her on the bed. "Why don't you come up here." I knee-walked my way up there, and kneeled next to her. She put her hand behind my head and pulled it down toward her left breast. "Go ahead and suck on my titties for a little while."

I opened my mouth and closed my lips over her nipple, which felt huge in my mouth. It was rough, but felt good between my lips. I ran my tongue around it as I gently sucked, and she once again began running her fingers through my hair, as if to urge me on. I strayed away from the nipple some, running my tongue over her areola, feeling the little bumps she had there.

I should have been shocked to find myself doing this, but for some reason it felt like the most natural thing for me to be there sucking on the breast and nipple of this woman who was almost a total stranger to me. Just as natural as when I was licking her pussy and when she had been paddling my ass. I know I wasn't able to intellectualize it at the time, but as I looked back on it later, I realized how easily I had fallen into the submissive role with women.

But at that moment I wasn't psychoanalyzing myself, I was just enjoying sucking on this woman's beautiful breasts. After a few minutes on her left, she said, "Time for the other, pet." I switched to her right breast and repeated what I had done earlier. She had let go of my hair and was now stroking my back and my ass. I hadn't been able to check to see if her paddling had left marks, but she was stroking it as if to help it recover from the abuse she had heaped on it.

After a few more minutes, she lifted my head off of her breast. "Okay, pet, are you ready for your next task?"

I wasn't sure what that was, but said to her nonetheless, "Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, up you go," she responded, and I lifted my body off of her. I sat back on my haunches once again, waiting expectedly. She sat up away from the headboard, and turned and flattened out on the bed the two pillows she had been propped up against. She then lay down on her stomach, her head on the pillows, her arms by the side. I found myself staring at her bulbous ass, not overly huge, but just beautiful, too well-formed cheeks separated by a valley that started halfway down her cheeks and deepened as it ran between her firm thighs.

"You'll find the massage oil on the nightstand," she said in explanation. I turned and looked, and saw a bottle of oil there. I grabbed it, flipped up the top, and squeezed some on to her back. I put the bottle down, and began rubbing it into her back, starting with her shoulders and working my way downward.

"Mmmm, very good, my pet. Your hands are as good as your tongue," she said, chuckling. I continued working the oil into her, feeling her strong shoulders and back beneath my fingers. She really was in great shape.

I put a little more oil on her back, and then let my fingers slip down to rub it into the side of her boobs. I massaged her boobs, and she lifted her body just a bit so that I could get my fingers underneath them as well. They felt luscious in my hands, firm, but not overly so. I gently squeezed her nipples between my oily fingers, and once again I heard her sigh.

I grabbed the bottle and squeezed a few drops onto each of her arms, and massaged it into those as well. I squeezed each of her fingers, running each through my fist, almost as if I were giving it a little hand job.

After about 15 minutes of working her upper body like this, she lifted up a bit and turned to face me. "Okay, enough of your fingers, there's something else I want now."

"Yes, Mistress?" I asked.

"I want to feel your tongue again," and as she said this, she took a finger and placed it at top of the crease between her cheeks. I understood immediately what she was asking for.

*******************

I thought about what JJ had said about her own interests in a BDSM study, and tried to think of the professional possibilities and whether there would be some opportunities for collaboration. But my mind kept getting distracted by the view I had looking down her dress at her glorious tits a few moments ago, and I couldn't get myself to focus back on my work.

It was about five minutes before the two of them came back from the bathroom. I saw them walking back to the table, their heads were together -- JJ's bent down to Maggie's level -- and they appeared to be speaking together in a low voice.

They sat down, and Maggie immediately announced, "I have to get going, I have a summer class I'm teaching at 9:00am tomorrow, and I'm getting too old to stay up all night partying and be able to be cogent in class. And for what these kids pay in tuition these days, I figure I should be at least halfway cogent," she said with a laugh. She stood back up again.

I started to rise to join her, but before I could, JJ put her hand over mine. "You don't have to go, Susan, I'd love to hear more of the details about your study. I think you can really help me think through my own ideas."

"Oh, thanks JJ, maybe we can talk at another time, but my car is at Susan's, so I should just go ahead with her."

"I'm happy to give you a ride back to her house, it's on the way home for me." Her hand remained on top of mine, and I looked at her long, slim fingers topped by a bright red polish over her short-cropped nails.

"Oh, go ahead Susan," Maggie chimed in. "You said your first appointment isn't until late in the day tomorrow, so you don't have to be up for anything in the morning. And I keep telling you you need to have more of a life beyond your work, right? You guys can talk and maybe even get a few more dances in."

I sighed. "Yes, Maggie, you keep telling me that." I smiled up at her, and then over at JJ. "Okay, I'll stay for a while. Happy to try to help you think through what you may want to do with your research."

JJ had a triumphant look on her face. "Great, thanks, I really appreciate it."

Susan bent down and kissed me on the cheek. "Talk to you later, sweetie. Hope we can find another time to get together before you have to leave."

"Absolutely," I told her, "I definitely want to see you guys again before I leave town."

She walked away, and I turned back to JJ, who had now removed her hand from mine. "Would you like another drink?" she asked.

"Oh god no," I said, laughing. "I've definitely reached my limit for one night!"

"Well, I'm a couple behind you, so I'm going to go get one more." She stood and headed for the bar. As she walked away, I realized I was looking again at her voluptuous ass. I shook my head, saying to myself, "Susan, what are you doing looking at that woman like that?"

I drank the last few drops of my wine, and a couple of minutes later saw JJ heading back to the table with a glass in hand.

"I admit it, I'm a slave to Cosmos," she joked as she sat down again and took her first sip.

"If I start on those, I'm a mess," I joked back. "That's why I have to stick to wine."

JJ smiled at me. "So tell me more about your research, Susan. Maggie told me a little about it, but I'm curious how you got started on this topic."

"Well," I started, "I had been looking at the research on BDSM communities, and saw that there was very little written about female-on-female relationships. So I thought I could make a contribution by focusing on that."

"And are you involved with women, is that in part why you were interested?"

Her straightforward question caught me off guard. "Uh, no, I'm not. . . .well, not really," I stuttered

JJ laughed. " 'Not really? Seems to me that's pretty much a yes or no question, isn't it?"

Having a second to gather my thoughts, I managed to compose a more cogent answer. I didn't see any reason to lie to her, so I told her, "Yes, I've had some isolated experiences with women, but I've mostly been in relationships with men."

"And BDSM?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, as surprised by this question as I was with the last one.

"Are you into BDSM?" she clarified.

This time I didn't even try to answer, no wanting to get into that conversation. I reached for my drink to stall, but when I looked down at it, I remembered that it was already empty. As I looked up again at JJ, she was taking a big sip from her glass and then smiled at me. "Well?"

I felt like a mouse being cornered by a cat, but was resigned to my fate. "Yes, I have had a couple of experiences," I confirmed to her.

"Ah, so some participatory research, huh?" she asked with another smile, sipping again. "Or was this experience prior to the research study?"

I hadn't even admitted these things to Maggie yet, but JJ was a stranger, and there was something about her that made me want to open up to her. "Can I speak to you confidentially?" I asked her.

"Of course," she responded, again placing her hand over mine, to reassure me. I felt the cold from her glass on the back of my hand.

"Thank you, I appreciate that," I responded. I continued in a low voice, looking around as if I was afraid people would be eavesdropping. "I did get involved in some scenes during the study. And I feel terribly guilty about it, as I know that's a serious breach of research ethics."