All Comments on 'Serie Noire 01'

Is this the first chapter of a series? If it is, great. I thought the story was pretty good. However, for it to be the start of a series then you probably should have told the story up to when he got home, added more detail and conversation to draw it out. Then pick the story up with Alex trying find out what the noise he heard was. You can draw out the story and make it better by adding more detail and more conversation. What was the conversation like between Nancy and Tom when they came up with their plan after Nancy knocked Alex out? What was Alex's life like in prison, other than with Bubba?

most of the writers here fuck over the husband better than most judges do, i mean damn.

disguised as justice to all. TK U MLJ LV NV

but to expect everyone would suddenly lose their critical judgement and believe one side of the story without substantiating evidence??? Well, that's a little hard to accept. I mean, there were just too many unanswered questions and with Toms' perjury trial, it would force the state to either retry or pardon him and with it would come a large cash settlement for false imprisonment.

So while you're story is quite good, it leaves out to many salient facts.

For another great snap shot of a story laid out and wrapped up in a single page! Talent, shear talent

Since I'm not a man, I don't know much about fighting. What is a hipper cut?

AND BACK TO COURT WITH REAL WITNESSESS AND ATTORNEYS. A HIPPER CUT IS A PUNCH THROWN FROM BELOW THE HIP WITH FORCE, POWER, MOMENTUM AND SPEED. TK U MLJ LV NV

1. A little tale about not to be violance when your wife is with her lover in your bed. Some excellent writers wrote here excellent stories, in which the husbands went to prison after the violance.

2. The best solution to use the mobile to shoot fotos and to start the divorce or the revenge (if there is any amonition for the revenge). I prefer the smart husband or smart friend of the husband stories with the modern Figaro.

3. For pissing the tomb is a excellent scottish joke.

Alister ask for his friend Donald in his dead bed to pour a bottle of Jhonny Walker on his tomb after his dead and 1year after his dead. After the funeral one year Donald goes to the cemetery and he stpped at his friend's tomb. He took the bottle of the Jhonny Walker and say. I like my friend and I think you allow me prior to pour this Whyskey through my kedney.

Next chapter:

The protagonist gets his verdict reversed on appeal, he collects more money in settlement with the city to drop a lawsuit against it, the kids cut off contact with their maternal grandparents, they go back and publicly humiliate the former friends for disloyalty, and when they run into Tom again, Melanie knees him in the groin and shouts out that Tom tried to molest her.

I served two years probation for beating the everloving shit out of my ex and her cock of the moment. Seems the judge busted his old lady doin the deed and felt my pain.

Wife accuses husband of beating her but doesn't have a mark on her. No evidence of previous violence either. He is accused of beating his kids but THEY show no signs of violence. The police apparently never talk to the kids which they almost certainly should have. As soon as they did the wife's deception would have become clear. The wife and lover would have been charged with lying to the police for telling such a transparent lie. For a provoked assault and under emotional distress and given the false accusations someone with a clean record would probably have been given probation with community service and anger management classes. Since the wife was cheating and convicted of lying to the police her outcome in the divorce would be much worse.

I know you try to stack the deck by saying his lawyer is a moron but the cops and the judge would all have to be morons as well. The stupidity makes it hard to enjoy the story. Here's my problem, What is the likelihood of having a bitch for a wife, an incompetent lawyer, a blind judge, and the keystone cops as a police department all at once? Oh, he also has to be brain dead not to have figured this out himself. It's just far too much.

Quick justice. No questions for the 'victims' before he's sent away ? AT least it worked for him at the end, as it could. Perjury is criminal, defamation I think would be the ticket.

Liked the Story esp. the way he finally gets back at the A__Hole and gets the kids and Money.

if the wife said that he beat the kids then her lawyer and the police are required to tell the states child welfare Department about it and the would then investigate the charges. And would have found out that they were not true. At least make the story believable. It is hard to stay interested in a story this far from the real world, unles it is in the Sci-Fi catagory.

I have seen betetr bshit on LIFETIME cable.... its pathetic that his son has to hit Tom...

but I also like when the pereson is man enough to stand be heard not like some of the anon cowards that make comments and then hide behind the anon. Get a fucking account and quit being pussies. Some of the anon's have been reading these stories for years and are just to pussified to get an account. DWornock while being a true asshole at least has an account. So join the club and be an asshole like the rest of us or shut the fuck up. And I don't like RACC stories, I hate the stories where the husband/wife get fucked over so bad it's unbelieveable. This husband gets fucked by the wife, the court and in the end it takes the lying cheating slut dying for him to see his kids. WOW....so loving

I see by your reply u read his stories regulary, With that said, you mention "but this fucking idiot of an author has never written anything that did not suck Moose cock"

I wonder who is the idiot, When you come back to read shorts stories from a author you dislike or an author who is take the time to show us his talents and willing to absorb idiotic ridicule from non grateful readers.

ps: suggest you don't read lie a good wine' stories any more.

ty for writing this story. elaborating on the wife life in those two years, It would have been nice for his Ex to be expose her lies to her family, the kids, to the police... and to find what a jack ass Tom was.

in the WBC club: they read every cuck story and get off on the humiliation - the harder the cucking in a story the longer and more prolific the comments from the WBC.

This is an erotic story site: plenty of guys get off on cuckoldry, so many in fact that they formed a club - the 'WannaBe Cucks'

Let them get their jollies.

The story was very believable to me, and like in real life, it's always the husband that gets fucked, never the slut wife.

Even if he would have taken pictures and walked away, and not attacking her lover, she would still get half of his stuff plus the house, and he would have to pay child support.

It's too bad that the laws are stacked against the husband, and a shame the husband can't kill the cheating slut, like in some Arab countries.

And they say those Arabs are bad.

Your writing is clear and flows. The story ideas flow naturally from one idea to the next. The pacing is good. I didn't spot any obvious grammatical or spelling errors.

This was a well written story.

(I know you are waiting for the 'but')

It was a very sad and despondent story. It's very hard for me to enjoy a story like this. Yes, he gets his kids back. He's still a certified jailbird and known as a wife beater to his former friends. Even with the perjury claim, everyone will look askance at him wondering.

His wife got off scot free.

Like I said, I don't mind bad things happening to a husband, but I like my 'recovery' to be a bit bigger then that.

There was one bright spot in the story:

The son 'But I'm a minor' was a deliciously good line.

Thank you for writing

It is sort of like having someone rub salt into open wounds and you wonder about sadists and masochists. But it is so improbable that it is amusing! I will read the next of our author's dark stories!

@digdaddyrich

In USA the family law is local law. I think the politics should step to spread the fault divorce in more states. The murder is not good and wise solution to kill 55% of the American women. (In Hungary the cheating rate is similar.)

A little heavy handed but still a good read. Thanks for sharing.

@Anon Buddy How could you avoid the long time prison (10-8 years)?

Horrible gramar, please get an editor.

But it was made up and unreal. It's already been mentioned that the assault charges on her and the kids would not have held water. The assault on him by the wife would have done better in court because the police look for the damaged one of a spousal assault case. Oh hell...why go on. I will try another one.

A quick read and a good one. Thanks for posting.

Except for the line "I did deserve some jail time for beating up Beaulieu, but..." Huh? Kind of fucking moronic mentality is that?!?!?! Probably a Yank thing...

wait for Bubba, TK U MLJ LV NV

Good theme... however since when does a trial Judge ignore a defendant's statement ?

Silly premise... what was a very naked Tom, with a cock wrapped in pussy juice, doing dropping off papers in the couple's bedroom. Story needs a rewrite to be coherent.

Someone else may have mentioned it, but the boxing term is "uppercut", not "hipper cut".

Interesting story - the idea that it could actually happen is - unfortunately - not that remote - scary isn't it?

will be stamped paid in full, TK U MLJ LV NV

Have your house wired for video - it saves money on the insurance and is insurance against things like this happening to you. Lesson #2 - Take a video/picture with your cell phone. That could save you a lot of agony also.

Totally unrealistic but a great tale of redemption. Fucking dead whore cunt skank cheating wife is now rotting away as the parasites are devouring her black dead heart. The asshole jerkoff lover was beat by the clueless son who when he found out the truth, took revenge on the prick. The daughter just loved having her pop back. All in all. a happy ending.

Ha, "betrayedbylove" will do, thanks!

pathetic is more like it.

Hard, if not im possible, to believe that neither police nor DA or judge believed his explanation or asked why her loverboy had been naked in the bedroom. Impossible for him in his state to get dressed, wasn´t it? So we have a naked female, a naked man in their bedroom, severely hurt...and no one believed husbands story?

It is my belief that a story has to be at least logical in itself. This one wasn´t.

Apart from that - nice plot, allthough often read.

I just wish the cunt had suffered before dying. Oh well....can't have it all.

of lies, pain and humiliation, TK U MLJ LV NV

part i find believable would be what the police done most of them are as crooked as the criminals they chase.

Sweetie's insurance money would go to her Hubby ... Tom! Unless she made the kids beneficiaries. That would have been unlikely if Tom were paying the premiums, since he never had any use for them!

Let's assume the woman, who was so cold-hearted she lied to her kids to KEEP them with HER, made them her beneficiaries. Also, let's assume SHE was paying the premiums (coz she's THEIR mother and was still WORKING for Tom) and the kids decided Daddy (the real one) could reap the financial benefits too!

Fuck! Why did you, of all people, have to piss on a story which didn't need over-analysis?

ESL?

What's a hipper cut?

Sounds completely plausible to me. It's called Karma. Except I would have had her having sex with another man in the car when she went over a double yellow right in the path of a red Peterbuilt tractor trailer. Thank you

and excessive

Does not fly. The boss, nude on a EMT backboard. 2 swabs on the privates, and the wife goes to jail for filing false statements.

Nancy was obviously screwing the cops, the prosecutor and the judge.

re:

sorry Does not fly. The boss, nude on a EMT backboard.

Try reading the story:

"When the cops arrived, she and her boss were dressed."

always make sure your alibi's stay intact. TK U MLJ LV NV

Serial cheating wife lost her job as college instructor in Helena Montana. Seems she coerced student into sex. Get details on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

I liked it. Decent take on a cheating whore of a wife and her bastard lover. Hard to believe, thoug, that no one ever asked the kids about abuse. Guess the wife and Tom shielded them pretty well.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Should have been Tom that died in an accident. Then when the kids find out the truth, they never speak to mom again.

The suit against Tom for perjury is pointless. He was cleaned out in his divorce. He could have gone to jail, though.

Lost interest after 4-5 paragraphs. I took a nap and felt more productive.

Glad the whoring bitch got her Karma.

Read again, and would be proud to have a son like Ross.

To go from a couple who married with good intentions to a couple that wants to harm the other both physically, financially, and emotionally?

The illusion? That gap between the two seems vast and yet it's just an illusion.

Son comes through

Tom's wife could have been more help. After all, she had evidence of Tom's cheating. That information could have helped with the criminal trial and his divorce case

1 star - no comment

1 star

5 stars. I ain't no 1 star wuss.

Is this the so called Dark Side........

Man then you are a Pussy.

Death is too easy a punishment. she needed to live and be ostracized by her kids with some jailtime.

0 star - this is the second read and violence of any kind always gets ZERO.

I gave you the 1 star above so it would lower you average for including the unnecessary gratuitous violence.

nixrox is just like that religious nutjob that whines about using god in the stories. Most definately nixrox has mental problems. But it makes me grin seeing morons like him.

3 stars as there was no reclaiming or clearing of the charges lied about.

I'm okay with the violence; encourage it even, especially for somebody in that situation. Still, on the whole, the story barely rates a blah from me. It was pretty lackluster.

this is one big plot hole and the wife was barely in the story at all. wtf?

Violence never solved anything. Except y'know, that whole little Carthagen vs. Rome thing. Or WW2. Or... oh, right, it solved MOST of historical problems, actually. Not necessarily the best solution, but it did SOLVE them.

/

Oh, and mr peacenick idiot nixrox, when those cops arrest the people you don't like (as in, victims of cheating), they ALSO apply violence. Of course, that's violence you like.

Poor writing; sentence structure, verb misuse, grammar.

Balderdash. Faking and framing that to put him in jail for 2 years and hide it from two teenagers is surreal. Maybe she gets a temporary restraining order and uses it in court to get custody of the kids. Heck Tom's wife got proof and raked him over the coals. This would be a first time offense. Wife beaters don't go straight to jail for 2 years for first offense. Would be nicer world if they did. There is literally no forensics to suggest he beat his wife. Yet Tom was bludgeoned. How did they explain that? And them being clothed? Some injuries show up differently when delivered when naked bs when clothed. Bs. This town must have zero budget for any sort of detective work. And again somehow the kids having zero knowledge other than he disappeared. And then Tom's ludicrous behavior at the end. Just a fail.

Well this was certainly fiction because the author knows absolutely nothing about forensics or the legal system. 3 stars.