All Comments on 'Serie Noire 03'

Very good! Hey, got a tear in my eye!

Each story in your Serie Noire series tells a powerful & unique tale in a short but well written manner. I was glad to see the 3rd installment & hope you will continue.

Muffdiver1

Thanks for the read

This story's denoument was to short. You did a wonderful job of making us care about the characters, would love to see you turn this sketch into a longer story elaborating more on their lives after the reunion.

Like that it ended in a positive way.

well he does when he says that readers wouldn't want settings like the soup kichen portrayed as a setting. The gritty atmosphere of that locale & the job bazaar gave this story a SPECIAL poignancy. Frankly the plot was a little hokey and there was a bit cheese to be found in the stilted dialogue of the character. Luke & the reverend felt real, I concede that.

Overall this story's strengths muted any weaknesses to be found. I'm rating this at full marks because of the uniqueness of the backdrops chosen. A lesser author would have had this play out in traditional courtroom, penal & suburban ranch house domiciles. likegoodwine took chances and avoided these clichés. Nicely done *****

The story was without twist or turn. It was linear and not very imaginative.

keep writing your stories have heart, so many don't. we need all the heart we can get. john

often times it can be for the better. TK U MLJ LV NV

very good read. 5*

Hope to read much more from you.

As promised, minimally erotic, but it DID have an adventuresome wife! There were several places where it was not easy to determine who was being referred to. Otherwise, an easy and poignant read!

Great story, I enjoyed reading ur work. Thank you

All three are great! Thank you for writing something that is not total fantasy.

Thanks for sharing.

Is it would be nice to hear how the story went on:)

One note,a good lawyer probably could have gotten a temporary insanity plea to stick in this case (though.it wouldn't have allowed the story to work as well).There is long precedent for that,in the 1850's in nyc Dan Hooker (later famous both for helping create the word 'hooker' as a term for prostitutes,due to the 'camp followers' that hung around his command,and losing his arm at the battle of the peach orchard at gettysburg) killed his wife and her lover,catching them in bed together.He was reputedly the first person found not guilty by temporary insanity in us legal history,and that precedent has successfully been applied to this day in some cases.

I enjoyed reading your story.

Thank you

Left a few questions, however. Did the kids know what happened with their cheating mother and her dead lover? What happened with the whore? Obviously she's dead, probably from aids. What were the kids told?

Although a great tale, it needs a follow-up.

Thanks for the offering.

A good tale with 5*****, but the 15 years a little long time.

I read at the end of your story it is difficult to find good editor. My experience is same.

@ Betrayedbylove Their cheating Mom died in car accident, so they began to look for their Dad.

While I can tell from your writing that English is not your primary daily language, your passion to tell stories gives you the courage to write anyway.

Well done!

Some help with more complete story outlining and development, as well as a bit more characterization, might all prove to be very helpful to your efforts.

Good luck finding an editor....especially a good one!

I'm sure your expressing interest in a female editor is motivated purely by their demonstrated superiority in that most challenging work, but I can't help but wonder if there isn't a little bit of the romantic Québécois showing up, as well......

Please keep writing, your ideas are good.

Thanks

The soup kitchen was fine, but dead mother, daughter literally ran into dad (what's the chance of that happening), and both recognized each other? Plus it doesn't seem a father that caring of his children would not visit them when he got out of jail. Then to have Mary fall in love with Luke the volunteer, I was waiting for the pigeons go to the curb to shit.

I missed the drama, the action,

This wasn't my sort of story so I didn't vote

Chilley

Their mother moved them to Idaho, I don't think he had any idea how to reach them, not to mention that he didn't feel himself worthy to be with them.

The way society can destroy a person's self esteem is fascinating. This was a dark tail and like a chocolate sundae full of contrasting love and light.

Thank you.

Thanks for your effort. I see you stopped writing. Hope you come back sometimes.

Good story and a sad one. Wonder what happened to Martha? Glad cheating partner did not survive.

They are feelgood stories. Meaning they are designed to be "bad-things-happened-to-good-people-but-there-is-a-happy-end".

Your characters are also totally black and white, no nuances between.

That is a weak writing, sorry. It is pleasurable reading but it has no depth.

likegoodwine

I enjoyed this story and its hopeful ending. Your others in the same series are much more bleak, but fuck so is life at times. The quality of your writing is consistently good. Thank you for your submissions!

Well written, but I it's revolting that authors seem to think they need to include lines such as: "He did something totally wrong as it caused another man's death." What the H did wasn't totally wrong. There was justice in it. Apparently authors are thoughtlessly submissive to feminized, unjust law or are just soy boys. We execute people for treason against the government. Fuck the government because it's corrupt, murderous, and exploitive. Treason against the family is far worse and deserves punishment as severe as treason against the government.

Really like this story. Like how you have to read to the end to get the full story.

Read this one again. I don't know why it hit me so hard this time. Just a really good story. I don't ever remember a story that Mr donut liked though.

I sincerely appreciate your writings. Really well done

Great tale. Brought a tear to my eye. Reminds us that all humans have a tale to tell.

The people who work and volunteer in the soup kitchens and shelters are deserving of more praise and accolades than others who crow their good deeds to all.more people should send their kids to volunteer at one for a few weeks

Brilliant.