Serie Noire 03

Martha followed me. I pushed her aside and went to the girls' room. I hit a resistance while trying to open the door. With my shoulder, I pushed the door open. As the door violently opened, I saw a man hit the wall and fall to the floor. He had only his pants on. When he looked at me, I recognized a co-worker of Martha's.

I am not, and will never be an Einstein, but there was only one conclusion about what was happening or about to happen when I came home: Martha was cheating on me! I reached toward the man cowering against the wall and I grabbed his hair. I almost fell to the ground when I ended up with his toupee. I reached again and grabbed his hair in the back of his head and started to drag him out of the room.

Now remember that my back was hurting like Hell. To put it mildly, let's say that I was short tempered. I was hurting so much that I was primed to lash out anytime soon. And I realized that if I wanted to have that guy out of the house real quick -- I still had to have it with my wife -- I would have to drag him all the way along the hallway, then down a flight of stairs, then along another hallway downstairs. I looked at the inviting windows in our daughters' bedroom. My back was hurting with the exertion from pulling that guy. It was a no-brainer.

I started to run toward the windows, pulling hard on Brad Park, Martha's co-worker. When he realized that I was about to throw him through the window, he tried to brace himself, but it was too late - his momentum and my own force sent him through the glass and out the window.

I turned toward my wife. She had followed me in the bedroom. All my anger fled me when I saw the look of horror on her face. It gave me a clue that I should make sure that the asshole was all right. Glass can cut you pretty bad.

I went to the window and looked down in the yard. Oh shit!

The window of the girls' room gave on the neighbors' property and a wooden fence separated us. Brad's was down on the grass, one floor below, his head jammed at an unhealthy angle by the fence.

"That's where I realized that my life as I knew it was over," said Crozier. "We called an ambulance and went down there, but it was too late as I well knew. His head hit the fence and he died on impact. I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted him out of my house. It was an accident but my defense of an accident didn't fly as my attorney predicted. I got 15 years with no parole for eight."

*****

They both stayed silent for a while. Reverend Dean now had a better feeling about Crozier. He wasn't a murderer. As far as he could tell, it really was an accident. Reverend Dean was now totally convinced that a reunion of Crozier and his daughter would be positive and beneficial to both of them.

For Reverend Dean, the concept of 'both of them' was important. He wasn't prepared to try to fix a meeting between Mary and her father only for Mary's sake, or for Crozier's sake. Now he was sure that both could benefit from it. But the comment of Luke was nagging at him. Was Crozier ready for a reunion?

Chapter 3 - Home sweet home

Reverend Dean broke the silence and asked Crozier to stay for the evening meal. The next two hours went in a flash, as it was suppertime. Crozier even offered to help serve the meal, spaghetti with a Bolognese sauce and a side of garden salad. A meal fit for a king if that king had only a muffin and a coffee for a meal that day.

They didn't have much time to talk, but when Crozier announced he was going back home, Reverend Dean asked him if it was possible to meet again.

Over the next few days, Reverend Dean was able to talk with Crozier many times. The main problem for Crozier was his own total self-contempt. He did something totally wrong as it caused another man's death. He sure wanted to hurt the guy when he found him with his wife, not kill him. Fortunately for him, the parole board was well aware of his sincere remorse for his action. That was the main factor that helped him to be freed on his first parole hearing.

His self-contempt also encompassed the fact that his behavior had made it impossible to care for his two daughters. His absence from his children's life was viewed as treason of his parent's duty. In his view, he had been the worst father possible.

"I was in jail while they needed a father," said Crozier. "I wasn't there when they needed me. I wasn't there to help with their homework. I wasn't there to put them to bed, to read a story, to tickle them and sooth them when they were sad. I wasn't there when they had a first boyfriend. I wasn't there for their graduation.... I was never there."

"Let me be the devil's advocate here," said Reverend Dean. "You weren't there for many important events in their life, and now that they ask you to be there, would you run away? From now on you won't be able to say that you couldn't be there, but that you didn't want to be there. Which one is worst?"

Crozier looked at Reverend Dean like if he had been slapped in the face. He got up and left the mission. Reverend Dean resisted his impulse to rush after him. He knew that he had pushed him hard, but he also hoped that Crozier would think over what he had just told him and come back.

However, it is not Crozier that came back first. One evening when he didn't have to serve the meal, Reverend Dean arrived at the mission to a huge surprise. Serving the last clients of another full house of 100, Marie Crozier and another young woman, obviously her sister, were on each side of Luke. Pedro and Sister Celeste - the volunteers scheduled for tonight supper - were sitting at a table sipping coffee and talking with a few clients.

Reverend Dean walked to Luke. "So you decided to bring your girlfriends to work?" he asked jokingly.

"Not my girlfriends," said Luke without looking at Reverend Dean. "That one is already knocked up (he pointed at Mary) and that one is probably not legal in this state. Hey girl, care to take a drive to Michigan?"

As expected, Reverend Dean blushed at the crude comments from Luke while the girls just chuckled. He should have known. Reverend Dean let them finish the food service and went to sit with Sister Celeste. Not long after that, Mary Crozier and the young girl came and sat beside them. Sister Celeste got up, excused herself, and left.

"Dean, I would like you to meet my sister Annie," said Mary. "I was really hoping that we could meet our father. Did you see him? Talk to him?"

"Yes I did see him..." started to say Reverend Dean.

"Is he coming tonight?" interrupted Mary and Annie exactly at the same time.

"Wo girls! Slow down!" said Reverend Dean. "I met him and talked to him. I am still not sure that he can meet you."

"I don't understand," said Mary.

"Well let me explain," said Reverend Dean. "I talked at length with your father and his story is a very sad one, a story as old as the world itself. I will not tell you the whole thing. I prefer to let him do it when and if you meet. Your father is a very troubled man. I don't know what you remember of him, but he is a ghost of that man. Eight years in jail and seven more years of rejection from the society will just do that to a man."

Mary and Annie were listening intently to what Reverend Dean was saying. They didn't notice Luke who came and sat beside Mary. They were startled when he spoke.

"Yeah, that's true," said Luke. "I did two years for a brawl gone bad with my girlfriend's lover, didn't kill him though! Broke his nose and cheekbone as well as a busted nut... I'm still on probation for the next two years. It totally fucked up one's life. But I am lucky to have my mom and dad supporting me."

With much empathy, Mary put her hand on Luke's hand.

"I have high hope that your father will come back to you," resumed a surprised Reverend Dean looking at the show of affection between Luke and Mary. "I know that you want him back in your life so he can meet your future child and the father."

"The father took off when he learned I was pregnant," said Mary.

"The fucker beat it like a coward," said Luke at the same time.

They both looked at each other with a smile. It didn't escape Reverend Dean nor did it escape Annie who looked toward the ceiling feigning exasperation.

"Girls, I know that you really want him back in your life," said the Reverend. "But I am really not sure that he is ready to be back in your life. He has been a society's reject for so many years that his self-esteem is simply non-existent. He loves you girls like the day he went to jail, but he believes that you would be better without him. He is ashamed of what he is -- an ex-convict. He believes that he abandoned you with his action 15 years ago. He still thinks that you would be better without him."

The two young women were now crying.

"Nooo," cried Annie. "It's not true! We can't be better with no parent when one is still alive." She turned toward Mary. "You promised me he would be here for us. You promised."

A voice sounded behind them.

"And her promise was good Baby!" it said. "I'm here for you girls."

They all turned toward the voice. Richard Crozier was standing a few feet behind them. As one Mary and Annie jumped and ran to their father. He simply took them both in his arms while they started to bawl non-stop. He was also crying, holding them tight and kissing their head.

"I love you girls! I never stopped loving you."

One hundred pairs of eyes were riveted to this touching scene. In the back, an old bag lady stood up, tears streaking down her cheeks, touched by a little hope, a glimpse of what could be still good in her life and she started to slowly clap her two hands. Other followed and soon, the whole mission was applauding the reunion. Even Luke was trying very hard not to shed a tear.

Epilogue

Four months later, Mary was in a delivery room at the hospital. A big tattooed guy was holding her hand while the nurse was urging her to control her breath.

Further down the hallway, in the waiting room, two soon-to-be grandmothers were waiting, none of them related by blood to Mary.

There was Mildred Jones, Luke's mother, as well as Michelle Vezina, the mother of the ass-hole that abandoned Mary when he learned he was to be a father. She always liked that young girl while having to accept that her son was a bad man, so much like his father, a wife beater.

He had tried to get back in touch with Mary when he learned that his mother would probably disinherit him to the profit of the newborn. He needed a simple meeting with Luke to see the light.

"Listen carefully mother-fucker," had said Luke. "You'll have Mary back over my dead-body, which means that I can keep her over 'your' dead body. I'm willing to let you take the first shot... But I can promise you that I'll have the last one."

When Mary described his reaction to the announcement that she was in a family way, it was a figure of speech when she said that 'he ran away'. When Luke describes the last time he saw the back of that guy, he was simply stating the truth: he ran away.

In addition to the two grandmothers, there were two grandfathers in the waiting room, only one related by blood to the newborn baby.

"I am really lucky so far Reverend," said Crozier to Reverend Dean. "Within a week of meeting her, Michelle found me a very good job with her estate managers. I now help monitoring a very large estate. I have some catch up to do in accounting but nothing much."

"You evade the real matter," said Reverend Dean, winking at Crozier. "Are you making headway with her?"

"Don't kiss and tell!" said Crozier. "Don't kiss and tell!"

Luke Jones' mother, Mildred Jones, came by the two men.

"So Mister Jones," she said to Reverend Dean. "How are you holding up with our first grandkid on the way?"

"Never better Honey, never better!" said Reverend Dean to his wife. "Hope sonny is faring good too. After all, he is the one in there while his girlfriend yells at him."

"Yeah, that's true!"

The end!

That's it Folks! I hope my little story touched some of you. In my 20's -- such a long time ago - I had been a volunteer at a soup kitchen and also for a Saint Vincent de Paul Society of a parish in a very poor part of Montreal. You don't wish me to write about it, but I can't help my experience to color some of my stories. Gee I still have bad dreams about them but it might help to exorcise them. Please comment but be nice!

My very patient editor, Scalia, won't be able to help me with my next stories -- if I can ever find the time to write. If you like my stories and are a good editor, please write me a note. I would appreciate a female editor as it would add a new angle to my writing. Thanks!