Sex Ed Ch. 05

I left the classroom and made my way back to the office. I planned on calling my mentor once again and hopefully she would be around to talk. I needed insight from a 3rd party, and my mentor was just the right person to ask.

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Sitting at my desk sorting through the remaining chapters I had left to cover before the end of semester. It was nearing the point in the semester when progress reports were due and I had to meet with students who were in danger of not passing the class. Thankfully, I didn't have many, at least I didn't believe so. I checked over my gradebook and the grades I had on my computer. After double-checking, I only had a few students who were in danger: Paula, Dean, and...Kenzie. The last name was disappointing to be honest, I know she and I hadn't been meeting regularly anymore and I've cancelled on her a few times since the incident. Also, she hadn't shown up in class, so I would have to email her to set up a meeting.

I opened up a new e-mail and began typing my notice to my students. Essentially I wrote the same thing for Paula and Dean except I just changed their names and few things here and there. When it came time to do Kenzie's, I copied and pasted my comments as I had done for the others, but an unsettling feeling stirred in my stomach. It didn't feel right to send her a notice, telling her that it's hopeless and she's going to fail my class. I know, I know, I should never play favorites as a teacher. And whether her advances towards me were genuine or she simply wanted a better grade, I still couldn't bring myself to send her this email. Images of her beautiful face flashed across my eyes and seeing her frown absolutely destroyed my barriers and my heart completely melted.

But she needed to know, right? It's only fair that she get a warning just like the others so she had time to correct it and do better. Then again, all it would take would be one quick click of the mouse to make it all go away. Just one.She would be so happy, just to see her smile again would be worth it.The voice inside my head was now being a bad influence. I couldn't resist, just the chance to make her happy would be amazing.I'll just say there was a computer error if anyone questions it, after all she had been making an effort, it wouldn't be THAT inconceivable!Those final encouraging words did it. I clicked the mouse. It was fixed.

My phone rang, snapping me back from my garden of Eden with an ignorantly blissful Kenzie and her precious smile. I cleared my throat.

"Dr. Lockhart speaking."

"Well, if it isn't my favorite student! I'm a big fan, I've read your articles published in the ASA Journal. How've you been?" It was my mentor from college. It was so great to hear her voice, thick and butch sounding with her Brooklyn accent.

"Dr. D-- I mean, Kim. Sorry, I forgot you preferred Kim. I'm good, did you really like the articles?" Her opinion on my work mattered the most to me. When I completed my research, I sent a rough draft to her in hopes she'd be proud. Instead, she reamed me for making crucial errors that the Board would rip me apart on. That was how she was, and I loved it. I fixed my errors, it cost twice as much to finally finish, but when I did it was a true feat for me.

"It was fascinating. I'm really proud of you. How has the teaching been going?"

"Funny you should ask, I've just finished my progress reports, only a few needed a written warning."

"Only a few? Well then, you're just not trying hard enough!" Her laugh was deep and hearty. It always brought a smile to my face.

"Yeah, yeah, I idolize you, but I certainly am proud of the fact that I'm a much EASIER professor than you ever were."

"Oh come on, look at you now! I did something right! So, the message you left me was a bit confusing, care to elaborate?"

"Well, it's sort of uncomfortable and it's a very sensitive issue and...and..." I hesitated, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to go through with it. She was a professor after all, and there I was lusting after a student, which is a mortal sin in the education world.

"And...come on, tell me. It's just me you're talking to, the woman you asked for advice when, you know..." She was referring to my first girlfriend in college, the one who became abusive. One of the summer classes I had taken was hers, she notice the bruises and questioned me about it after class. I confided in her, but I didn't necessarily follow her advice, which I regretted.

"Yes, yes, I remember. I, um, have this student..." I started, unsure of how to say this without sounding like a pervert. "She is really quite pretty, you see. And,...and well, she had been in the right place at the right time because a colleague of mine tried to..."God dammit, why was this so hard? I've spoken to her about loads of things before.

"He tried to...what? Did he assault you?" Her concern was apparent in the tone of her voice.

"He tried to assault me, but my student came just in the nick of time. And well, she drove me home and stayed with me for awhile, and then--"

"Oh god, tell me this isn't going where I think it's going!" From concern to disgust in under a minute. That must've been a new record for me.

"NO! No, Kim, nothing happened. Last thing I remember was making a bed for her on the couch and then the following morning she was in my bed. At least, I don't think anything happened. I--"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You violated one of the most important rules for all teachers! What were you thinking letting her drive you home? Are you crazy?!" Tears flooded my eyes. I never expected her to get so angry and I could hear the disdain in her voice. I felt sick to my stomach, I'd upset my mentor. I didn't want this at all.

"No, no. I haven't done anything. But this student, she has...made passes at me since then. I haven't done anything, I swear. Please, please don't yell at me!" I was sobbing uncontrollably. The last thing I wanted was to betray the vow I took because I made that vow with my mentor in mind. To be like her, to be successful like her, and to make her proud.

"Just answer this for me, because I'd hate to see you destroy your career before it's even started: how tempted are you?"

"I--I..." I knew what the truth was, but could I say it? If I said those words, then it became real. I wasn't ready to accept that.

"Is it lust?"

"I think so, I--"

"Then forget about it. Go out, find yourself a hot girl, fuck her brains out and get this student out of you head. You're very bright, you were my favorite student, and you have a brilliant career that's only just begun. Don't fuck it up now."

My tears were beginning to subside, I started to see reason. She was right, it was raw lust and nothing more. That could easily be fixed if I just found someone else to lust after. Kim was the best person to talk to about this, I knew she would know exactly what to say. And the way she said it made it all sound so simple, which it was. Go out, get laid. Done.

"You're right. I don't know why it was so hard for me to see that. Have you, um, ever...about a student?" I knew she and I had an open relationship, but now that I was a professional as she was, we never chatted about her life like we did mine. Now, I was just curious, no-- I was hoping and praying that I wasn't the only one.

"I have, it's an emotion we all feel. You should know how natural it is. We're animals and it's our instinct. If we neglect the instinct, we become irrational hornballs, which I'm afraid m'dear, you are one. But as long as you never act on it, and satisfy the need some other way, you'll be fine. I just worry about you, I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's okay, I needed it. If you were here, I bet you would've slapped me in the face!"

"You know me well. I would have, yes. Okay, I have to get going. Department meeting. Remember what I said and you'll be fine. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, thank you again. Bye." After hanging up I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I wasn't going crazy, and I wasn't the only one who lusted after a student before. Now, I knew what I had to do. I needed to get laid.

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I waited for the weekend to come and promised myself to have a huge night on Saturday. I finished the rest of the week at work almost mechanically. My thoughts kept returning to the conversation I had with Kim. She was right to be angry with me, the thought of even pursuing something with Kenzie would be the end of me and my career. It was too much of a risk no matter how much I fantasized about her.

I also reflected on the possible dangers of getting involved with someone as young as Kenzie. Her attitude towards sex was juvenile. If she truly cared about me she would acknowledge the potential consequences of her actions. She wouldn't want me to risk my career. Instead, she acted completely unsympathetic to my predicament. Kenzie was more than aware of her effect on people of both sexes. She used it to her advantage, and I wouldn't be surprised if I was just one of many.

Kenzie did finally come to class on Friday and surprisingly, she behaved herself. Part of me was relieved that I didn't have to use all of my strength to resist her once again, but on the other hand, I was a little saddened by the lack of attention. How ridiculous does that sound? I missed the attention. Or perhaps it wasn't the attention that I missed. Maybe I just needed one more look of her delicate youthful pussy, spread out on display just for me. God, I'm definitely no innocent bystander in this story, I know. The sense of empowerment when someone lusts after you is more intoxicating than alcohol.

But no, Kenzie did behave herself, though it didn't mean she was paying attention to the lesson. I was pretty sure those were doodles I saw her scribbling in her notebook. After a brief moment of confusion, I settled on the solution that things were back to normal. Kenzie was behaving just as she did on the first day. Aloof and non-responsive. That meant for me that the coast was clear and I could finish the semester without any further incidents. Clearly, my inaction paid off and Kenzie had given up her quest.

At the end of class, I asked to speak to Kenzie for a few minutes. When I said her name she didn't even flinch, her eyes remained glued to her notebook. As the rest of my class made their way to the door Kenzie remained seated, not even bothering to stand up and come to the desk.

"Kenzie, I just thought you should know that progress reports were due this week." Yes, yes, I know I "adjusted" her grade, I wasn't going to tell her but I was testing the waters. If we could have a normal, student-teacher conversation then that was proof enough for me that things had returned to the way they were.

"Oh great, can't wait to read mine." She said in a monotonous tone. Sarcasm, check.

"Hang on," I had to word this carefully so as to make it sound like I wasn't doing her a favor because of my feelings towards her. I sought out her eyes but I couldn't find them. She was still sitting and staring downwards. Her body language was droopy and closed, she looked miserable. "Now, since you took the initiative and sought extra help. I decided to take that into consideration."

"What are you talking about? I didn't ask for any favors! I--" Her withdrawal turned to fury. Her body language changed and she was now sitting up straight staring me down. I had to find an escape route.

"Kenzie, Kenzie...calm down. I did the same thing with everyone in the class," Okay, so that was a lie. But it did the trick as she immediately drooped back down into her chair. "You've done a good job improving and I know you're trying, so I just wanted to ease your mind a little."

"Thanks, Doc. See you later." And just like that she left.Yep, definitely back to normal.

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The weekend finally arrived and I couldn't have been more anxious to get out of my place. I probably put on some muscle tone in my arms from all the masturbating I'd been doing because my arms looked fabulous in the black strapless top I put on. I went for white skinny pants and paired them off with red stilettos. This outfit was my "knock-em-dead" look and with the words of my mentor repeating over and over in my head, I had to make sure my outfit lived up to its name. I straightened my fine, blonde hair, applied my makeup and blush and used a great eye-liner that really made my blue eyes pop. I gazed at myself in the mirror and felt pretty confident that there was still a party girl in me deep inside. She was going to unleash herself.

I couldn't remain hung up on Kenzie forever, this night was going to change all that. I wouldn't depend on her anymore to feel wanted or desired because I was looking hot. I wandered into my kitchen and poured myself a couple of tequila shots. I just barely finished sipping down the first one when a banging grabbed my attention. There was someone knocking at my door.

I wasn't expecting any company and my microwave clock read 10:49pm. I opened the door and saw Kenzie standing there shaking and she was making sniffling sounds.Has she been crying?

"Kenzie? What are you doing here?"

"Dr. Lockhart, I'm sorry, this isn't a good time is it? I'll just...I'm gonna go...sorry to bother you I--" Kenzie immediately turned around and started walking away.

"Kenzie! What's going on?" Why I was so anxious to keep her at my front door, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure if I was even going to let her in. The confidence I had built up for myself in the bathroom made it much easier for me to keep my nerve. However, something in my gut told me something was up. Her face looked red and her eyes puffy.

"Nothing, I--" Kenzie did stop, but she didn't turn around. Her voice was shaky and I couldn't understand her very clearly with her back facing me. "It can wait. I see you're going out so, I'll see you later."

"Wait, Kenzie--" It was too late. My words didn't come out quick enough and in seconds she was gone.What was that all about?I closed my door and went back inside towards where my tequila was waiting for me. I stared at that drink not sure anymore if I should drink it and continue with my plan for the evening, or if I should go after Kenzie. My heart sank at the memory of her shaking body standing in front of me, she was clearly upset over something. She hadn't come to class for a few days, something had to be going on. My mind was racing with theories and hypotheses of what could be happening with Kenzie. But then an echo of my mentor's words told me to knock it off. Yes, Kenzie was a student and I was concerned for her, but it had to remain just that. I grabbed the second glass full of tequila, downed it, and called for a taxi.

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I went to my usual place, the walls were vibrating to the beat of the loud bass coming from the DJ. I walked into the bar, I made an effort to walk in the sexiest way possible. I wasn't some dumpy frumpy college professor tonight. I could feel eyes on me as I made my way to an empty barstool, the attention sent chills up my spine. I ordered a drink and sipped on it slowly and made small talk with one of the gorgeous bartenders. I couldn't tell you her name though, but she was stunning with sandy blonde hair and brown eyes. Her figure was covered up by a not-so-flattering black t-shirt, but even so, you could tell she had a banging body under there.

I scanned the room hoping to make eye contact with someone. I was always big on the non-verbal communication. Words didn't matter, words often got in the way. Eye contact, body language, slight touches, each and every breath all did so much more to make any situation more erotic, more alluring and sexy.

A petite girl caught my scanning eyes. Her green irises locked onto my blue ones and refused to let go. She made her way over to my barstool, I had barely noticed that a stool next to mine was recently vacated. She walked towards me as a lioness does when she stalks her prey. Her hair was cut into an asymmetric bob, the one side of red hair hugged her bone structure beautifully. She had porcelain skin with a few splashes of freckles scattered on her face and shoulders, much like my own. She couldn't have been taller than 5'3" and I would've accused her of being almost too skinny if it weren't for the ample curves she carried in her chest and her plump rear. She had the body of an aerobics instructor, or maybe yoga.

"Hey there, is this seat taken?" She was referring to the deserted barstool next to me. Her voice was light and soothing, almost musical and I was just dying to hear more.

"Not at all. It's yours." I gave a smile back, again I always enjoyed the subtlety of non-verbal communication and I secretly hoped she did too. I wasn't in the mood to do much talking today, because talking meant that I had to think and thinking meant thinking about Kenzie. I didn't want to think.

"Excellent, I was hoping you'd say that. So, you by yourself tonight?" She returned my smile. Her teething were blindingly white and perfectly sculpted. Mine were straight, but not like hers. She had the mouth dentists would kill for and she had the mouth that would hopefully wake me up from my lovesick puppy daydreams of Kenzie.

"Not anymore," This time I avoided eye contact but made sure that my smirk made it obvious what I had meant. "My name is Hannah, by the way." I extended my hand towards this redheaded bombshell.

"Silvia, a pleasure." She took my hand it turned it and leaned in to kiss the top of it. She let her lips linger on the skin of my hand, it sent waves of electric current straight in between my legs. I shivered as the sensations flooded my body.

Just then my phone started to go off. I didn't realize it was mine until Silvia brought it to my attention. I was too entranced by the feeling of her lips on my skin.

"I believe someone is trying to steal you away from me." She said as she glanced at my jacket since that's where the sound was coming from.

I rarely use my phone for its intended purpose. It was a gift, a Blackberry, and I'm all about the great new technology, but it's really annoying that I can receive emails on my telephone. It almost defeats the purpose of owning a computer. As a result, I never use my phone other than to make calls. However, something told me to check it.

"I'm so sorry, just...give me 2 seconds and I'll shut this thing off." I said as I fumbled with some of the buttons. I opened up the awaiting email message and realized that it was an email from Kenzie. It had no subject heading, but I recognize the email address as we are given that information on the first day we get new classes.

"Dear Dr. Lockhart,

I just wanted to let you know that I'll be transferring to a new school. A community college. I can't afford to stay. I'm so sorry for surprising you earlier, I was just really sad at the thought of never seeing you again. You looked so beautiful all dressed up, I mean, you're beautiful all the time, Professor. I'm really going to miss you. I love you.

K"

She's leaving? That must've been why she was absent, and she was all red of crying earlier. Wait, she loves me?My mind froze, I wasn't sure what to do. I read and re-read the email from Kenzie and each time it became clearer that I had to see her again. I had to go find her. I had no idea where she'd be. I began typing back a reply.

"Meet me at my house. 20 min." The was all I could manage to type before I shoved the phone back into my pocket and leaned forward to try and get the bartender's attention.

"Whoa, you're leaving??" The redhead's face couldn't hide the hurt she felt even though our encounter was brief.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, something's come up...I'm sorry. Here," With the pen in my hand I had from closing my tab, I grabbed a cocktail napkin and scribbled my number on it and gave it to Silvia. Her expression changed to relief that I wasn't completely blowing her off and that made me feel better for needing to leave so abruptly. "It was nice to meet you Silvia." I finally said as I waved her goodbye. I flagged down a taxi and went home.