All Comments on 'Shadows of the Moon'

A great start, I look forward to seeing where this is going

A fine start. Don't be nervous just keep it up.

More!

As for your worries re grammar there were a couple of obvious ones easy fixed, it's shock or shocked not chock and Alfa if you mean it as leader is Alpha otherwise it was better grammatically than others I've read! Really good start hope you keep it going!

Hope her sister isnt really deaf but loving this story already

Please hurry. I really like this story. keep up the good work

I have already submitted part two. it just needs to be approved so you don't have to wait long. Part three will probably be done by the end of next week. After that I might take a break for a month because I want to finish a big portion of the story before I post it, that way if I want to change something in the story I still have that option.

Thank you Littlecat for your input. This has been a really great way to test my knowledge of the English language and I love it. Its one thing to write in your own language it's a whole other to write in another. I can feel myself getting better and better with every line I write.

Amazing story, awesome writing...thanks for sharing your gifts with us! Looking forward to much more!!!

Honestly, your grasp of english grammar and spelling is, sadly, better than many people who have english as their primary language. (Sad for them, that is.)

A few minor spelling mistakes, some incorrect word usage or missing words:

"-and you, as fierce fighter as you seem to be, is in no shape for another battle. "

should read

"-and you, as fierce [A] fighter as you seem to be, [ARE] in no shape for another battle."

And a lot of missing commas -- don't worry, though, that one would be easily remedied with the help of a good editor. If you can't get one, just imagine where you would pause for emphasis in a sentence, or to take a breath if you were speaking the words, and then put a comma there to help break it up. (See the previous sentences for examples of what I mean.)

I know you said you don't have an editor, but I'd still recommend trying to find one. It helps to have a second pair of eyes looking over your work, because other people are more likely to spot your mistakes than you are -- your mind tends to skip over any mistakes that might be there because you, as the author, know what is SUPPOSED to be there. Your brain just fills in any gaps.

I don't think cittran knows what the fuck they're talking about, I like the story, but I lost count of the errors that detracted from the story.

You only made a few errors* & the quality of the story makes up for it. I really like it so far!

*Edit Suggestion:

This form of place - use "type" instead of form