All Comments on 'Share by Phone Ch. 01'

Loved it. Right up to the point you cut the end of the story off. Can you repost with the rest included please?

Wonderful. Hot. Descriptive. Phonesex Threesome.

Loved the story but you left it hanging for a finish or a part 2. Would be interesting if the Grandparents were next door neighbors or were known to Steve and Jenn. Keep up the excellent writing.

I AGREE WAS HOT, INTENSE AND LOVING. BUT HE MISS ENTERING THE ENDING... I GAVE IT A 4 INSTEAD OF 5.. SUGGESTION.. HE GOES WITH HIM TO MEET JENNIFER AND THEY HAVE A 3SUM IN PART 2... I WANT THAT... PLEASE WRITE IT

Not only should this be in loving wives and is cut off. The hubby seems way too comfortable to be banging some strange chick. He's gone for a trip and just happens to have condoms on him? Heck if I was his wife I'm be worried my man would leave me for the chick that is willing to do more things sexually. great sex but there are holes in this story you can drive a dump truck through

You didn't read the story right, he didn't have the condoms, they were in her purse,

you must have been too aroused to get the details correct.

Best story ever

Pity there aren't half stars. Because this is a SOLID 4.5. The obvious cutoff at the end was a sloppy mistake, and the dialogue was a little technical in places. But the premise of the story, the descriptions of the characters, and the sexual illustration were INCREDIBLE. Rarely do I read a story on Literotica that turns me on to the point of masturbating, but you succeeded! Keep up with the submissions! :-)

Delightful and well written - encore!

I really appreciate the constructive comments. You guys are right about the strange cutoff at the end. I had a real struggle getting the file formatted for submission and ended up submitting the wrong file. I had intended to break this episode into three parts and doing a little different editing. Oh, well, it's out there now as one long file. What can I say? Mistakes of a first submission.

Though this was long (which you've addressed already), it is by far one of the most in depth tales of the love between two people and their desire to please each other. Whether a fantasy or actual accounting, this was very well done. It reflects my wife & my relationship, as we share each other openly for our mutual pleasure. I really liked seeing Jennifer's conflict with her jealousy as Steve was taking Mandy, very realistic. As a traveling salesman, you hit on a super hot button with me. Sure the ending was abrupt, but after all the content within the story, I'll can it slide. Keep up the good work.

The writing could be a bit tighter, and the initial transition when Jennifer and Mandy first conspire is a little hard to believe. I'm not sure how you could improve that without lengthening the story. Perhaps by there being some pre-existing relationship that included some sexual tension? Also, the word choice was often too clinical - No one having anal sex ever says "sphincter". They say "asshole".

But all of that said, it was a good plot line, with character development as well as hot sex. Keep writing. I've favorited you and look forward to your future efforts. As another poster said, I wish there were half stars. This is a solid 4.5.

this was very arousing to me. I anxiously await a second part and hope you submit soon!

I appreciate all your comments. As several of you have noticed, I struggle to strike a balance between “believability” and length – to talk the characters the full way through the mental shift that makes them willing to participate in these events would be long. And boring. Guess that’s why we call it fantasy. The suggestion to start them farther down that mental road is a good one, just not where I had originally seen the characters.

The other thing I struggled with was the idea of holding these “private” conversations in a crowded airport terminal and that made me cut some of that dialog short. I’m surprised no one has called me on the unlikelihood that a perky blonde could say “It is kinda hot in a nasty sort of way and it can get me off” in the midst of a crowd of middle-aged business travelers and not cause some kind of riot.

As far as the “technical language,“ I was trying to portray the events as really out of character for these people, people who generally don’t use the cruder words with each other, would more often say “penis” or “vagina.” But as has been pointed out, I overdid it a bit. “Sphincter?” What was I thinking?

that was hot you are a good writer now to go home and do his wife so good like she wants be hot and lick her good

Loved it. Gave it a 5. You made me feel like I was there. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next story.

and it'd be fun if there were another chapter.

@anon(s) – Thanks for the feedback and the rating! I must confess that I write primarily for my own entertainment and then only as a very part-time hobby. Sometimes it takes me a while to find enough time to really write. Guess I’m saying that chapter 2 is in my head but might take some time to get written.

I wannabe Mandy!!!!

I worried that the back and forth with the phone would break the flow. Boy was I wrong! It made everything even more intense, especially the way Jennifer was invested in the pleasure. A hearty "well done" to you!

By far one of the best stories I have read in a long-long time. All I could think is how would this go when they finally got off the plane and the two women finally met face to face! Would they invite her for more?

By a degenerate. "1**".

1 Star.

Not sure I understand where the last two Anonymous comments are coming from. Obviously didn't like the story but the lack of any constructive feedback isn't very helpful for improving the writing.

... those two comments. There is no story here, nor any LW. Husband is screwing around as well as wife and no one cares. Just a bunch of fucking around, mindless drivel that belongs in group sex or erotic couplings

CTRL-END, 1*, move on ...

- Just another anon

@Just another anon -

Okay, thanks. That's valid. That gives me something to go on that helps me improve the writing (or at least how I categorize my entries). A wife who loves her husband enough to arrange for a tryst between her man and another woman doesn't belong in "Loving Wives" but belongs in group sex or erotic couplings. A valid opinion that bears consideration.

"Mindless garbage by a degenerate" gives me no feedback other than to discourage me from contributing anything since I am obviously just a "Damn faggot writer." I would be delighted to read what those two Anonymous posters have contributed to get a better feel for what ideas they do like.

put in erotic degenerate cat

1 star for for wrong cat

That's a great, great, great story. Please publish part 2!

I really liked the story. When I saw that it was five pages long, I was hoping that Steve would take Mandy home to Jennifer and they continue together. Maybe in Chapter 2 or 3?

Thanks, I nutted twice reading through this one.

His mind is slipping badly ! "1*" !

Does Jenn give him permission to fuck Mandy in the morning? Get that phone charged for Chapter 2. 5*

Sweetie (Jenn) is definitely an adventurous married woman!

Waiting for Ch 2! Think Sweetie will have re-evaluated her anal fears and her allegiance to Hubby - and that wod give Sweetie the raw passion she yearns for!

5*

From now on they're just roommates and maybe for a while, fuck buddies. Jennifer has cut Steve loose and he didn't hesitate to cheat on her with somebody's baby girl. Don't think for a second that Jenifer won't realize this when she sobers up. Steve is a selfish son of a bitch and she is never going to let him forget it! I wonder how he'll like it when he finds out that she can give as good as she gets?

I can't get enough of the hot husband stories but can only seem to find hot wife stories! This turned me on like nobodies business and made me cum 3 times! Please continue. . . please! My pussy is begging you!!

I'll admit to being amused by the consistency of the comments: If the story was about a *husband* letting his wife give a random guy she met in the airport a blowjob while they were snowed in, commenters would be calling it "1* cuck shit" and predicting that the marriage was over. Yay for gender equality?

In this case, I'd be a little more optimistic about their marriage, as (a) the wife on the phone ordering around the younger woman has an air of D/S, where she's practically domming the girl and using her as a sex toy on her husband, which just isn't something that would work as well in a gender-reversed situation, and (b) most of the sexual encounter were things the wife doesn't want to do or with a roughness he doesn't use on her (and would like him to see it's okay), so as long as she can get past the going down on her, there's the "it's not *real* sex" aspect.

Or maybe I'm just a huge hypocrite, and am more willing to buy cuckquean stories than cuckold ones.

It's a shame there was never a chapter two of this; I would have liked to have seen where the author took this.

I love the sexual holiday treat with the young girl while he is out of town, Nothing held back, fucking every hole this young girl has. Even sexier his wife hears every detail on his phone of the sex her husband has with this young sexpot girl! I need to find a wife like that!!!

I my early childhood and through up until I was married lacked any real example of marriage. Two single uncles, four aunts, their husbands died in combat. I remember that were so many women were single, years later I understood. Shortage of men in small towns. The reason I join the military was the gi bill, would pay for my college education. Big surprise to me was I got my degree in the army. It was 2 1/2 years before I choose to take advantage of 45 day leave, 15 days was the report to new assignment. I decided to surprise grandmother and aunts. I remember getting off the bus i tried calling the old number, no answer. So started walking the 12 miles down highway that early in the morning it was unlikely that to get a ride. I finally was walking down the road, a pick up was coming from the other way and stopped, it was dawn, I'm in uniform, I can barely make out who it was, so I said, aunt Baby is that you, she answered by, who are you? I said, I am your little boy. She screamed and jumping out of the truck at same time. I don't know who was the happiest she jumped up wrapped her legs around my waist, held her around her waist she crying and holding me tight. This the type of emotions that are hard to explain. To this day it still brings tears to my eyes. I was her baby boy. I drove for her to drop off the milk, buttermilk, butter and cookies. For the next hour we delivered, she was holding on to my army asking so many questions, it was a wonderful way to get reunited with family. She was a remarkable aunt and mom to me. My told me I want you to come in the back porch door. All of my aunts and grandmother were in the kitchen cooking and talking, I opened the squeaky door grandmother froze trying figure out who I was, so said mama she instantly recognized me grabbed, saying Antoney, my baby we are in a group hug my other aunts are just as shocked. I had grown so much it was very hard for them to understand, 5'5" 111 lbs to 6'3" 185lbs.,my was in the military had grew even bigger than me, he lived with another aunt in Kansas. My sister lived with another aunt in Oklahoma. The four aunts that raised me were were my, my teachers, mother, and lifestyles friend. In life do many things that we may think is not a big deal or will make difference, example, while I was in military i had what is called back then a Class 2 allotment, I sending home to my grandma and ask her give each of my aunts some and the rest to ranch. At time I had idea of I helped. In that 42 days I was on 26 dates and was chaperoned by my aunts and kissed at first playfully, I never even considered saying no, l loved is, I was still a virgin. My aunt Baby said, please let me be your. She just couldn't say it, but I replied, I had already decided that had to be with the one who I love and one that loves me, to this day there was to match it.

I actually saved this as a favorite

This was great would love to read more

Good premise.

But to much piston-like fucking of her mouth, her pussy, and her ass. And it got to those too fast.

Needed to be much slower. Needed more in the way of playing. Teasing. Edging.

Four stars.