Shared Bathroom Adventures Ch. 04

I put my hand on her lower back, gently guiding her out of my office before realizing how incredibly inappropriate that behavior was. My hand trailed off and I followed her noting her curves from behind. Snap out of it and stop ogling her I told myself. She's a coworker, a subordinate. Not some plaything to objectify.

As we headed toward Miranda's office my eyes returned to the back of her legs that disappeared into her short plaid skirt. I couldn't have sculpted better proportions if I had a block of clay. My mind continued down this distracting thought process and imagined what kind of underwear she had on, if she had underwear on. Remembering she was afraid to poop with a guy in the room, I scoffed at the thought. She seemed too cute and polite to even imagine her pooping. I'm sure she doesn't poop. That's all there is to it. Of course she does. Everyone does, you idiot. This is getting out of hand... I made a mental note to see a therapist about talking to myself repeatedly.

Seeing the small crowd of ladies outside of Miranda's office broke my trance of dumb thoughts. We stood in the back of the pack as Nicole, Miranda's secretary, addressed the group.

"Miranda will be with you shortly. She's just finishing up another meeting in there." She said politely.

This felt like a power move. Like when a rock star purposely makes their audience wait just so they will want to see the star more.

The crowd grew restless and started whispering to each other. I made out small bits of conversations here and there.

"I heard there will only be one bathroom." Someone said.

"Important meeting my ass...I'll bet she's getting her nails done." Another said in a frustrated tone.

The comments continued until the double doors of her office swung open dramatically. Miranda stood front and center, with her hips turned slightly to the side, that in combination with her high heels made her butt stick out and emphasized her chest at the same time. She had on a royal blue dress that seemed to hug her curves perfectly.

She eyed the crowd with sly grin on her face. "Ladies and Jason." She began, which earned a few chuckles. "I want to thank you for your patience. The recent construction has been difficult on all of us. But I think you'll find the improvements to be well worth the wait."

She walked over to the former entrance to the women's restroom that was covered by a black sheet. "I had an in-depth analysis done on the most efficient companies in the world. Turns out we've been handling our business...our private business...all wrong."

She removed the sheet unveiling the door, which simply said "RESTROOM" and nothing else.

"I present to you our new and improved, unisex bathroom." She said as the crowd whispered and gasped. She seemed to enjoy the stressful sounds coming from the group. "Probably the number one complaint I've heard on this floor since I started was how sick you are of the old, cramped and small washroom. If you'll follow me, I think you'll find that will no longer be an issue."

She pushed opened the door and walked through. The crowd hesitantly followed behind.

"You'll find we spared no expense for what I consider to be the world's best bathroom experience. The floors and most surfaces are made from the finest imported marble. This centerpiece waterfall is a work of art created by both talented sculptors and industrial designers. You will never see its equal." There was power in how calmly she said the words.

"And what makes this room particularly efficient, that you may have noticed already, is the sheer amount of stalls surrounding us on all the walls. This is nearly five times the amount you used to have."

The faces looked around the room and saw that there were indeed several more stalls, but there were other things they noticed as well. The amount of stalls came at the price of space. Each stall was quite narrow and very close to the neighboring stalls on each side.

One girl from the middle of the crowd called this out, "Why are the stalls so small and so close together?"

"The bathroom is a place to take care of your business quickly and continue back to work. We removed any unnecessary space to help you avoid dilly dallying while you're in here."

More whispers came from the crowd before someone asked quite nervously, "Is it my imagination or are the walls and doors to the stalls pretty short?"

"You have a keen eye." Miranda replied. "Studies have shown that the more barriers you breakdown between coworkers, the better teams will function. So I've broken down the final barrier." She said almost defiantly and awaited their reaction.

"Ummm, can't people see you then?" Someone asked nervously.

"From the middle of the room you can see the tops their heads if they're sitting. Only if you get up close can you see their faces." She said as if that resolved the issue, but clearly the crowd thought otherwise.

"What about Jason? If he's standing in a stall to pee...he'll tower over the walls and be able to see...everything." There was near panic in her voice.

"Excellent observation. I'm glad you brought that up. Jason will not be peeing in the stalls." She said and looked over to me.

"Wait, where am I supposed to pee then? I thought this was a unisex bathroom...?" I was now starting to sound panicked myself.

"Why Jason, don't you see? This waterfall structure is the most state of the art urinal you'll ever find." She had a sly grin hidden behind a calm, emotionless face that I'm sure no one else could see but me.

"You want me to pee in the waterfall? Out in the open?" I shook my head. "You can't be serious."

"Do I look like the kind of person who would joke about something as serious as waterfall urinals in the workplace?" She said plainly.

Was that sarcasm? I couldn't tell.

"You see Jason, and ladies as well, the reason why this is the most advanced structure is how many purposes it serves. A urinal is only the beginning. You may have been wondering where the sinks are in this bathroom...well that's the second function. Thirdly, there are embedded soap dispensers on the top, as you place your hands here under this rock, soap comes out on your hands. And as you wash your hands, the soap flows down with the water, effectively cleaning and sterilizing the lower portion that also serves as a urinal."

The crowd was stunned. No one had any response to that.

"We used to only have two sinks. Two! Now twenty of you could wash your hands at the same time...all while someone is properly using the urinal portion. Think of how much time this saves." She said pleased with her creation.

"But that's not all." Miranda said.

"There's more?" The crowd reacted like a cheesy infomercial.

"Yes, so from the top down we have a soap dispenser, a hand washing station that could accommodate nearly everyone on the floor at once, a functional and incredibly hygienic urinal below that, and my absolute favorite part, if you sit on the ledge here at the bottom you can see the water shoots straight up, just a couple of inches. That's right, it's a bidet. Ladies, this is a luxury you've probably never experienced but once you try it, you will wonder how you ever lived without it."

"Wait!" Someone interrupted. "You want us to...use the stalls, then waddle over here to wash our butts? Is there no toilet paper in the stalls?" She was almost laughing this was so absurd.

"Of course there's toilet paper in there." She said and there were audible sighs of relief from the crowd. "For now." She continued. "This is a bit of a pilot program. In the future we may see how well the system works out. But for now you can continue to live in the stone age and wipe your filthy anuses with toilet paper."

There were mixed reactions from the crowd.

"I do ask you at least try it once before you dismiss it. It really is an eye opening experience." She said suggestively.

"Eye opening as in everyone's open eyes can watch you clean your ass." I heard a girl whisper softly. The crowd was nervous and anxiously looked around at each other searching for some kind of reassurance this was all a joke or a bad dream. But it wasn't.

I'm sure they all felt their own kind of terror, but the way I saw it they at least had partial coverage in the stalls. I had to pee out in the open. Literally anyone on the floor could see my penis. Perhaps they'd all be too concerned with their own privacy to pay attention to me. But even so, they'd still have to walk past me at the waterfall urinal to get to the stalls. There was no way around it. And if they were washing their hands...they would be within inches of my exposed penis. This was a nightmare.

"Are there any mirrors in this twilight zone of a bathroom?" A familiar voice called out. I recognized it as Kim from my meeting earlier. True to form, she was speaking her mind.

"Mirrors?" Miranda asked.

"Yes, mirrors...to straighten our hair and clothes. You know the kind that typically exist over the sink...when your sink isn't a fucked up waterfall." She said with a bit of snarkiness that made the crowd lightly chuckle.

"Yes, I almost forgot. Thank you for reminding me. Follow me." Miranda sounded excited and headed toward the corner, which had a tiny and almost hidden hallway. She walked in and there was another, smaller room with a drain in the center.

"Here, you have a full walled mirror right here." She said happily.

"Why is there a drain in the middle of the floor?" Someone asked and that seemed to be focal point of concern.

"Another excellent question. We've always had the gym on the top floor of our building, and up until now there was nowhere to shower after your workout. This new design solves that as well." She said as she walked to the corner of the room and flipped a switch causing a rain like shower to flow from the ceiling in a narrow area in the center of the room.

"Now there's a shower, and thanks to the ultra-modern design, we're not limited to only a couple people showering at once. The surface area of water is enough for six to eight people to shower at once. It's so efficient." Miranda said.

Another girl called out, "So if we want to shower, we have to share this tiny and totally open area...and if someone wants to see themselves in the mirror they'd come in here while the person is showering?" The girl I didn't recognize was very upset. She was by no means a large girl, but she was noticeably curvier and fuller figured than all the other girls on the floor.

Miranda nodded as if this was a non-issue

"If you're ashamed of your body, you don't have to use the shower." Courtney chimed in with no sympathy.

"Back off!" I said instinctively in a tone only Courtney and a few others could hear.

"Ashamed? I'm not..." and the curvy girl stopped mid-sentence after realizing it was a losing battle. I felt so bad for the girl. Courtney practically called her fat in front of everyone on top of the fact everyone was feeling shitty about the new arrangement.

I mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' to the embarrassed girl to show her I was on her side. She gave a hint of a smile back and stepped closer to me. I gently rubbed her shoulder and whispered, "This is so messed up." And the girl nodded her head quietly. I didn't know this girl, but it felt like we shared an instant bond and she took another step closer to me. I felt the side of her large chest braise my arm. "It will be ok." I whispered as I put my arm around her shoulder and rubbed her arm. That seemed to somewhat comfort her.

We all followed Miranda out of the shower area and back to the center of the bathroom.

"And that concludes the tour of the new renovations. Any questions?" She asked calmly.

Nearly every hand was raised in the group of girls.

"I'm sure you will all love it once you get used to the change. You'll thank me actually. Now I must be going to my next appointment." Her heels echoed as she walked toward the door away from the stunned and silent faces.

"Wait, one quick question." Courtney called out. I noticed she was the only one who didn't seem scared or freaked out by this new arrangement.

"What?" Miranda asked sternly.

"Is the waterfall open to be used by all, women too, or just men? Excuse me, I mean just Jason." The crowd lightly snickered as she practically called me not a man.

Miranda marched over and the crowd backed away, but Courtney stood her ground. I admired how Courtney didn't react to Miranda the same way the others did. That was about the only thing I admired about her.

"The whole reason I had this bathroom installed was so I wouldn't have to hear you ladies pissing and moaning about not enough space and waiting to use the toilet." She turned and walked back to the door, saying over her shoulder as she was leaving. "I don't care if you take a shit in the waterfall and use it as a swimming pool afterward, just as long as you don't come crying to me about it. This is no longer my problem. If you ladies have any other questions, take it up with Jason. He's the new captain of the bathroom. Piss and moan to him."

"Excuse me?" I said completely taken aback.

"Jason, you're the man for the job." She said holding back a small smile, probably remembering our own intimate bathroom interaction.

"Thank you. You have an incredible vision that we can only hope to appreciate over time." I said and instantly wondered why on earth that came out of my mouth.

"Jeez Jason, at least wait until we're alone before you kiss my ass like that." She said, which earned a roar from the crowd.

"I want it." Courtney called out as Miranda was half out the door. "I want to be in charge of the bathroom."

Miranda stuck her head back in. "Then you two can work it out." And she left.

The crowd stood there as Courtney walked up to me slowly. I had no doubt she was only trying to save face from our recent interaction in the bathroom. That felt like a lifetime ago after all the bombshells dropped about this new bathroom situation.

Courtney was about a foot away, and then took another half step closer to the point her face was only inches from mine. "You heard her, I'm in charge here."

"Bull shit. She didn't say that!" I shouted before I even realized what I was saying. I was arguing to be in charge of the bathroom. What on earth does that even mean? But still I continued. "She clearly wanted me in charge. Why else would she would she have called out my name?"

"Obviously she was thinking shitty thoughts to come up with a crap idea to put you in charge of anything. If she wanted you in charge, she would have flat out told me no." She said calmly.

About half the crowd started to leave the room, probably sick of this bathroom by now. The other half of the group moved in closer and surrounded us like school kids who were about to watch a fight break out.

"So what do we do now?" I asked, not backing down an inch.

Courtney moved in ever so slightly. I could feel her breath softly hit my face. If I dared look down I'm sure I would have seen her ample cleavage nearly pressed into my chest, but I wasn't about to lose any ground by breaking eye contact.

"You think you're some big shot don't you?" She asked. "Some big swinging dick who owns the place."

That's not at all what I thought, but I can understand why she thought it. All she knew about me was I was quickly promoted and I peed on her vagina while she was pooping. Guess I am pretty much a dick in her eyes and many other girls probably thought that as well. I kept my mouth shut and let her go on.

"If you're so big, why don't you put your dick where your mouth is..."

"What?" I was genuinely confused. She wanted me to give myself a blowjob? I didn't dare say that aloud.

"Let's have it out. Right here and now to determine who's in charge of the bathroom."

"You want to fight?" I was so surprised I nearly laughed. But then I actually was concerned she was serious. I couldn't hit her, so clearly I'd lose my upper hand by backing down.

"No we're not fighting, you Neanderthal idiot. We'll have an old fashion pissing contest." She raised an eyebrow.

"You can't be serious." I said, but I was somewhat intrigued by the idea, still not fully understanding what it was she wanted.

"I think you know I'm serious. You seem to have no problem whipping out that tiny prick of yours and peeing wherever you please. Well now's the time to show what you're made of." She was so close I could feel her whole body press into mine.

"How would this ridiculous contest even work?" I asked. Why are you even entertaining this girl? I wondered to myself. Just leave the stupid bathroom and get out of here! My inner voice tried unsuccessfully to urge some sense into me, but I was into deep. "What are the terms?"

"It's quite simple. Whoever is the first to pee into the fountain is in charge of the bathroom. If your nasty pee from your tiny dick hits the flowing water before my lovely stream, then you're in charge. If mine does, then I'm in charge. And I'd make the rules...mainly kicking you out forever." She moved so close I could practically feel her lips graze mine.

"Is this even possible? Would this solve anything?" I asked aloud.

"Yes, actually." Nicole, Miranda's secretary, said politely. "Miranda did tell you two to handle it, and this would determine the winner." She said it so matter of factly it was as if she was referring to a two thirds vote in both houses.

"There you have it. Are you in? Or are you out...of the bathroom forever?" Courtney said.

That time I knew I felt her lip lightly touch my chin. I knew I should just leave, but I couldn't. "Who will be the judge?"

"I will." Nicole said politely.

I still wasn't sure if she really knew what was going on. Nicole was just so cluelessly strange.

I nodded my agreement and Courtney nodded back. It was on. I was starting to go through the motions in my head of how I'd quickly turn, unzip my fly and pull out my penis as quick as possible. There's no way I could lose this...she's a girl after all.

"When I say go, you're both free to move." Nicole said making this strangely official. "I'll count down from three."

Courtney raised an eyebrow and whispered in my ear, "You are sooo mine." She let her tongue graze my earlobe as she said those words.

Oh fuck. I finally realized what she was doing. She's slowly been getting closer and closer to me until she was fully pressed up against me, the lip touching on my chin...the near gentle nibble on my ear.

"Three..." Nicole started her countdown.

FUCK! I said as I had a nearly full on erection that was getting harder by the second. I'm going to be fumbling to pull it out of my fly and my boxers...

"Two..."

FUUUUCK I now also realized, despite her lack of a penis, the easy aiming tool, all she had to do was pull her loose dress up and slide her panties to the side. Fuck she was practically naked right now the more I thought about it compared to all the obstacles I had in the way.

"One..."

It was now or never, I did the only thing I could to help save me time. I tried to start peeing then. Before even pulling it out. I knew it'd take a few moments for my body to even allow it. PUUSHH I urged my bladder uncomfortably.

"Go!"

We both raced to the waterfall side by side. She was already pulling her dress up as I was fumbling with my zipper as we ran over. I reached in and got caught in the folds of fabric painfully pushing down my erection.

I could now see her vagina in plain sight as she stood there with her panties pushed to the side, shoulders pulled back and her crotch jutting out as far forward as she could muster. I could feel the drops starting to come out in my pants as I reached in and pulled hard shaft out nearly sideways. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it happen. My penis came out sideways facing Courtney just as my stream strengthened...and I almost once again peed on Courtney's vagina before angling it to the water fall as Courtney's own stream mixed with mine hitting the water simultaneously.