by Jazz67
Good start to a story but with it being so many years since it was posted, it never should have been posted without a finish. At least a complete chapter would have been ideal.
gets there. I don't need to read the 689th recital of the same stuff.
How they got to that moment in the first place is the interesting part
This story was written very well, I like the plot, but the paragraphs were too bunched together, it was a little bit too short and the ending was much too abrupt. BUT, overall, it was pretty good.
If this is a first effort it is very good---It is not clear however if you plan a sequel--If so it should follow quickly--If not a slightly different closing line might have been better--One which would suggest her imagination working but did not suggest an immediate follow up
You said a plan was forming in her mind....why not write about it here? This is too short a prelude to give the reader much to hang on to. I think this would have read better if you made this installment at least twice as long, to flesh out what her plan entailed.