All Comments on 'Shifting Hearts Ch. 02'

you desperately need an editor

its very interesting. I can't wait for the next one please post another chapter soon.

EDITOR, GET AN EDITOR, the lack of editing and lack of pride you have in your work, by not editing it to make it the best it can be puts me off reading more of your writing.

editor or not I love it and I already can't wait to read next chapter. Please hurry

alot going on can not wait for the next chapter

but you are badly in need of an editor. The grammar fiend in me is going crazy. There are serious issues with grammar, spelling, word usage, use of quotations, etc. Please do not take this for anything other than constructive criticism because I really like your story and where you are going with it. Just consider hooking up with a good editor for your next installment. Keep going...

So ready for it!!!! I can get past all the mistakes and errors.

Believe me, I will do better next time, and thoroughly go over my work.

You are writing a good, creative, and entertaining story. Although I agree that your writing could use an editor's help, I will keep reading what you write anyway. With an editor to help you, this story would be a faster and easier joy to read. However, I have started reading and ended up dropping many perfectly written and edited stories when they got boring. I like the positive way you respond to readers requesting editing. I was reading another story where readers requested editing and the author had a nasty response. That made me stop reading her story, not the rough writing. Looking forward to the next chapter.

to anon below me the reason I am taking it so well, because I tend to to see my faults in the things I do. I realized I rushed things to early when I have other things besides writing that needs to be done. But bets believe chapter three will be better.

I'd like to know more about how the supernaturals came to be this angry and hateful to each other & I'd like to know more about what it is about her smell and what effect it has on others....is the shifter attracted to her scent? I'd also like to know if a witch could recognize she is a mate to another supernatural? What is wrong with her mother and how does that make her take a dead end job with a bunch of assholes? Do the humans know of them in this world?

An editor would be nice, also it's not terrible mistakes though.

Great chapter, it was. Cant wait for three.

I have a few questions that I would love answered in this story.

I would like to know why all the other supernatural beings hate witches other than them being pretenders. Did they try to take over the supernatural world? What do they think of elves, leprachauns, and fairies? Also does the supernatural world coincide with the human world? If they do, do the humans even acknowledge these beings or do they only exist in horror and only get celebrated on Halloween? (I imagine that if I were a supernatural being and I were portrayed in some horror movie terribly, I'd be rather pissed.) And if the shifter and her former boss are attracted to her scent, who loves Sallie's scent as well? Also is it possible that Sallie's high priestess and Luna are working together to somehow bury the hate? Like a new take on Romeo and Juliet.

Nice! You updated ^-^ I was waiting for it actually since the story is really promising. Although this chappy was not well-written (compared to the first), it still captured my interest ^-^

The story is interesting and it will make good reading to find out how they solve the conflict. But I would strongly recommend an editor, the mistakes (spelling and phrasing) are making it difficult to follow sometimes.

Since you've already been told you need an editor, I won't repeat.

However, as a reader, and this is strictly opinion, so please don't think I'm criticizing your story, but I REALLY hope she doesn't suddenly give in to Xavier and become some stupid vapid cliche harlequin 'heroine'. I would be very disappointed if this turns into one of those 'he acts arrogant, turns on the charm, and she falls into his arms.' Yech.

I hope she gets some serious payback and then leaves him for the shifter. Oh, and I hope the shifter kicks his ass. Gah! That stupid alpha pisses me off, he's too much of a dick to end up with her. He'd have to do some SERIOUS ass-kissing before she even decided to look his way. That's what I hope, anyway.

That said, so far the story is good :)

... I am starting to have some type of withdrawal like I am a damn junkie. Take your time. I can wait... (groans with unease)

I love this story I had been checking for updates since I discoverestylus little Jen last month. Thank you so much for the update. I have my fingers crossed that the alpha and Sallie may get together after she makes him work for it, and prove himself to her. Thanks again can't wait for the next update.

Ideas are good but it's as frustrating as hell to read. One paragraph made no sense at all.

It looks like someone had started to help you but the notes were left in.

Do your story some justice and clean up the spelling, grammar and the blatantly incorrect use of words..

I love your story. Please post the next chapter soon

Your ideas are AWESOME!!! But I found the whole thing confusing to follow and I already hate the main guy(Pssst is the main girl suppose to be black cuz the first chapter talks about cornrows and then she kinda talks black in here) Be more descriptive and informative, then polish up your storie,s and find more appealing ways to draw your viewers' attention PLEASE!!

First, why on earth would you make a witch seem so powerless?

While yes, a were can shift and they have super human strength, witches manipulate magic. They have powers that far surpass a were's abilities by simply being able to bend nature to their will.

Second, when are you going to put the curse against the pack in motion?

I really do not like this pack, but obviously that was your intention from the beginning and I assume this from the way you made it very clear what a bunch of ass hats they are.

Third, how on earth can the alpha remain an alpha when his cousin can best him? The alpha is the strongest of the pack. If there is any weakness, they are challenged and replaced.

And I gotta ask this one too! When is the next chapter coming out? Because I really wanna see that jerk alpha get his ass kicked by the shifter.

I love your story, please continue. I can't wait to see what happens next.....!

I am writing this message to let everyone know that I am almost done with chapter three of Shifting Hearts, but the only problem is, my home computer decides to break down on me at the very last minute, right down to the last paragraph. So right now I am trying to figure out how am I going to get the computer fix in order to retrieve my story.

sent from my laptop.

I really like the story line, but you are desperately in need of an editor. Your grammar is terrible, it makes for a distracting read when I'd really just like to focus on the plot.

Please continue to write I love it

Is strong with fire for his fire. More is needed!

I really like this. So what if it's a little rough. Practice makes perfect.

This is just utterly and completely terrible. Firstly your english and grammar is atrocious, it is like reading the work of a first grader. Secondly the storyline is confusing and thirdly this should be used as toilet paper as it is a useless wastage of space. Stop writing, you are terrible.

I love it, plot is deeply intriguing and I can't wait to see what happens next. Maybe you do need editor but story line is great. So please don't stop now.

First thing: I saw on your Twitter page that you've added chapter three. Awesome and splendid. I hope it is more than three pages long. I agree with the others: you need to edit and revised your work before you submit. Never mind our pleas, just take your time with the work. Don't worry about us Shifting Hearts fans, we'll be here.

Second thing: This comment is addressing the literary critic for the NY Timeswhose comment is below mine. Rather than condemn, why don't you offer constructive advice?

thank you Mimirose, for that comment, and for defending me. I was going to say something to that jerk off, but decided against it. And, no sadly I have bad news for you chapter 3 of Shifting Hearts will probably be the shortest of them all, but good news it will be the only one. I am busy right now with Dark Serenity for my DS fans, and after that I am going to do SH. Again, Thank you, and thank you to everyone that has commented.

Great story... Forget the horrible things that people write. Those that an Do, those that can't criticise. Keep it up!!!

I started reading this a while back, but life started playing hard and had to chill for a minute. This has tremendous spark, but you needed an editor to tweak the small ripples in flow. It has been a bit distracting at times. I still dig your premise though and this time will complete the story.

Thanks chick!!

I tried, I really did. But this is just too painful to read, get an editor to help you with all the grammar, punctuation and missing words or just wrong words used. 1*

this story has sooo much potential but it's quite painful to read..i find myself making things up as I go just to try to make it make at least a little sense..i dunno how much farther ima make it..normally I don't nit pick at authors to get editors, I can deal with grammar issues pretty easily but seriously have u read over this story before u put it up?

Please proofread, spell check and edit...but love the story, I dig Roger

I'm really enjoying the plot so far, but I think you need to proof read before you post. This kinda painful to read with the bad grammar. Sorry if this is harsh

It is making it hard to read sadly

you need an EDITOR,BADLY.Is english not you first language?I like the story,but makes it a bit hard to read thru all the errors...keep writing,,,but please,get some help..

Did you go to school . If you did you seemed to have missed english classes.