All Comments on 'Shooting Matt Ch. 16'

Your writing style is complex but in a good way. I mostly like how realistic is when you describe the sex. The act itself, you stay true to what mostly is in reality. It's a long story like you said a few chapters ago, and I like it so far. If I'd add anything to I, maybe build up more on the sex part. As you have been narrating the sex parts, it kind of sounds more like you telling a tale, not very hot. It's like it's getting exciting but never reaching its climax in a way.

So far I gave you a 4 stars. Good length for this chapter.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "build up" to the sex parts? More foreplay? Fooling around? Or, less of the non-sex parts of the story? I confess I'm a little worried the non-sex parts of the story are taking over.

T

I think that maybe because you spend so much time and care developing the non-sex part of the story (quite brilliantly I might add), that the introduction of the sex parts can feel a bit rushed. But even that is conflicting for me to critique because I feel like that adds to the sense of realness. Sometimes sex just happens, without a drawn out preamble or set up. Either way this is probably the best story I've read on this site. The characters aren't stereotypes or caricatures but feel more like true people with their own unique flaws and strengths and motivations. I find myself completely invested in their lives and their decisions and their futures and I think that's a testament to your skill as a writer.

Thanks for the kind words.