Shooting Matt Ch. 17

"No, honey, not everyone has those thoughts," Glenna tells him.

Mary Beth walks around the table and hugs her son from behind.

***

Mary Beth swims a few laps, then climbs onto the swim platform and watches as Matt froths the water between the dock and platform. It he's taking it easy, she'd love to see him really go hard. Liam makes a few circuits, not trying to keep up with Matt, then paddles beside him on a kneeboard.

"Grab this, will you, mom?" he asks, holding out one end of the rope used to tie up the board. She takes it. He falls off the side of the board and climbs up the ladder. He squishes his way to her side and sits down, feet in the water.

"Is this really him taking it easy?" she asks, nodding toward Matt, who's just touched the dock and is on his way back.

"No," Liam snaps. "He doesn't fucking listen. He's going to hurt his back again. Dip shit."

She smiles. "Hmm, it's probably not something any kid wants to talk to his mom about but it sounds like you care a lot for Matt, otherwise he wouldn't piss you off so much."

"Yeah," Liam says after a time. Mary Beth hears the caution in his voice. She doesn't blame him. "I do like him...a lot," he finishes.

"Good. I have a good feeling about him." She leans back on her hands, turns her face to the sun. "It's fading but for a time it was like everything made sense. I understood people, not just their words, but them. It was scary but it helped me see how terribly wrong I was about your father, and you." Neither of them speak. "Same for Leon. It made me feel even shittier about the past but in a way, it made it easier to know they weren't lying to me, fucking with me. They meant what they said, meant more than they'd said. It's fading but it's left me feeling I need to be better about really listening and not assuming everyone is out to get me." She shakes her head and sits back up. "Anyway, I get real good vibes from Matt."

She glances at her son. "You remind me of Leon. Leon is a good man but this new sixth sense crap tells me he's got a lot of anger behind that calm face." She watches Liam's face. "I get that from you. Is all that anger directed at me, sweetheart? If the answer is yes, I understand. I just wish there was a way I could help you get rid of it."

"No," Liam replies, eyes on the water. "Some of it is, sure. A lot of it is aimed at the world. I fucking hate people, their ignorance, prejudice and hatred. I'm tired of being fucked with."

"Who's Roy?"

"Roy? I don't know anyone named Roy," Liam replies. His face darkens. "Oh, yeah, Roy. I kicked his ass for calling me a queer boy."

"Did you feel better?"

"Yeah, I did," Liam snaps.

"Okay, Liam. There's been more than one asshole in my life I'd love to punch in the face, but it's a big world and there's a lot of faces."

"Did you talk to Leon or Glenna? Did they tell you? Dad?"

"No, it just popped into my head." She looks at her son. "Were you that mad at Roy? Something tells me you were pissed about something else. Was it me? Matt?"

"Leon," Liam confesses. "I wanted to beat the shit out of Leon."

"What? Why?"

"He's the one that hurt Matt's back. Didn't you know that? He punched Matt. Matt slip and when he fell he landed on a rock. That's how he broke the bone in his back."

"Leon?" Mary Beth whispers to herself. "I'll be damned." She smacks her son on the back of his shoulder. "I didn't mean to get you all stirred up, Liam. Honest. It's sure possible Roy's a dick but maybe he's just another fuck up trying to make sense of the world."

"What about you, mom? I'm not sure you can go from being a dick to not being a dick overnight. I think being a dick, is part of a person's personality. If you're not really a dick, does that mean you're 'just another fuck up'?"

"Maybe a bit of both but mostly just a fuck up, I hope so anyway."

She starts to rise but Liam puts his hand on her wrist.

"What happened, mom?"

She hesitates. She's not sure she's ready to say the words out loud. She's afraid doing so will bring back all the anger and horror she's only just shed herself of. No, it's not the time to add to his burden.

"Someday, honey but not now. Okay? When I have time to figure it out, I'll let you know. Okay?"

"It was that bad?"

"Yeah, baby boy, it was pretty bad. But, the problem is, lots of 'pretty bad' stuff happens to lots of people and they don't become junkies and abandon their families. That 'pretty bad' stuff didn't do this to me. I did this to me." She bumps him with her shoulder. "You know, you've had some 'pretty bad' stuff in your life, right? Don't let it fuck you up. You're stronger than me, a better person than me, you take after your dad. That's why that anger you keep stoked down deep inside worries me. That's all." She looks up. "Matt's waving us in." She looks at the knee board. "How hard is it to do that?"

She fell off a half-a-dozen times but the last fifteen feet to the dock she handles the board, if not like a pro, at least like someone who's spent more than five minutes on one.

"Nice goin', Mrs. B," Matt cheers her as she hops off the board. "Hey, wait, are you still a "Bigland'?"

"Yeah, Matt, I'm a Bigland but not a 'Mrs'. I'm fine with Mary or Mary Beth but not MB, sounds like someone with dyslexia taking a shit."

Matt laughs. "Dude, your mom's got a sense of humor. What happen to yours?"

Liam glares at him and he laughs harder.

"Ms. B, did you see that look? I'm tellin' you the Biglands have got a big wide steak of harsh in 'em."

"They most certainly do not," Mary Beth protests in mock outrage. She puts an arm around Liam. "My baby is nothing but sweet; don't you dare pick on him."

"No, ma'am, I won't." Matt's voice is serious. "I won't."

"I know you won't," she says and gives Matt a hug. "No pressure or anything but I'm so glad Liam has a friend like you. I really am."

Matt nods, afraid to say anything.

***

"So, that's the story," Mary Beth tells Glenna. She's finished laying out the details of her involvement with Randy and Leon. She didn't spare herself. She was ruthlessly honest. She'd been ruthless to others more than once in her life, she saw no point in sparing herself. "You sure you're okay with me staying here? I can sleep in my car." She chuckles but there's a decided lack of humor in the sound. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"It wasn't quite that bad," Leon offers.

"Bullshit, Leon. It was so and you know it. I hope to earn a little forgiveness but I don't need your pity."

"Well, then your awfully goddamn lucky, lady," Glenna snaps. Most of us need a little pity in our lives. I sure as shit have." She holds Mary Beth's gaze. "Be careful. You're sounding a little like you take pride in how terrible you've been. No point in that I can see. I believe you when you say you're sorry. You should be. Now let it be. You've confessed. Fine. You don't need to keep doing it. You don't want people to start thinking you confess to be a junkie because they're supposed to be impressed by your recovery."

Mary Beth nods her head. "I hadn't considered that aspect of it. I don't want to make it about me." She takes a deep breath. "Okay, going out on a limb but, Leon, is that anger I feel in you directed at me, because if it is, I'd rather you just let it out. I can take it."

"No," Leon replies, looking out the window. "It's not directed at you. It's directed at me. That's why I got so pissed with Matt. I'm a coward."

"Will, you stop with that shit already," Glenna snaps. "You're not being a coward for not telling your parents you're gay. You're sparing them. Hell, I barely understand it and you want to spring it on them? They don't even have fucking cable. They probably don't even know what 'gay' means."

"It's not just that," Leon sighs. "I love you, you know that I think, but I am hiding in a way."

"Leon, let's say for a second you're straight," Mary Beth interjects. "You're married to Glenna. There's not a gay cell in your being but, I don't know, let's say you really get off on being spanked, or water sports, or whatever. Would that be any of your neighbors' business? Would you be a coward for not telling everyone in town, 'hey, I really get off on Glenna peeing on me while I jerk off'? I don't think so. You're entitled to some privacy for Christ's sake. You're only hiding if you don't love her and I can tell that you do. I mean that literally. It's some left over voodoo from Mr. Magic Train Man. It's gone now but I still had it when I saw you with Glenna for the first time. You're as gay as Pride Week in San Francisco on acid but you're also in love with this woman. That's just the way life worked out. You're not hiding and you're not a coward."

She stands up. "I'm beat. If you want me to sleep in the car, that's cool. I get it. But, if not, can you point me toward a bed?"

"Come on," Glenna says, rising and taking the other woman by the arm. She shows her to the spare room. "It would have been terrible, doing that to Liam, to Randy. Terrible."

"I know," Mary Beth whispers.

"Good," Glenna nods and starts to leave. "By the way, do you know anything about baking?"

"No, not a thing. I fucked up a Betty Crocker cake mix once."

"Well, that'll make it harder. Hit the sack. I'll wake you up at 3:30...am. I'm swamped with orders and need the help. You help me and you can stay as long as you need to. Deal?"

"3:30 am?" Mary Beth shakes her head. "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffin' glue."

Glenna looks worried then laughs. "Airplane? Right? Good one." She stops at the door. "You didn't really..."

"No," Mary Beth chuckles. "I was a high-class junkie, never had to huff."

Glenna nods. "Uh, I know we're not exactly friends or anything but if it's easier to talk to a woman, or someone you're not so invested in, well, I'm here, if you need that or anything."

"Thank you, Glenna. Really. Thank you. I will, if I need to, I will." She looks at the other woman. "I'm serious. I'm a disaster in the kitchen. It's not the getting up early but I'm truly afraid I'll slow you down, worse fuck it all up."

"Anyone ever try to teach you?"

"No, that's true, no one ever tried to teach me."

"You'll be fine. Sleep well."

***

"Are we nuts?" Glenna whispers to Leon. The walls in the apartment are thin.

"Probably, but that's never stopped us," he replies.

She snuggles closer. "Uh, could we..."

"Of course, my love," he whispers as he pulls her onto his chest.

***

***

"Mmm," Liam sighs. His left hand is buried in Matt's long dirty blonde hair.

Matt lowers his mouth over Liam's rod. When he pulls back, his lips capture the foreskin and stretch it. He lets his mouth fall over the head, holds the foreskin in place with one hand and forces his tongue under Liam's cock hood. He swirls his tongue around the crown, savoring the precum trapped there. He squeezes with his hand, tongue tip touching Liam's cum hole, waiting.

He pulls his head away and jerks his lover's cock, fascinated still by the way the foreskin slides over the crown. He suppresses a surge of regret that his parents had him cut. He lowers his head again, resting his cheek on Liam's thighs and playing with his balls with his mouth. He pushes the balls up and tongues behind the ball sack. He wants to lift Liam's legs but on the massage table that would be awkward.

"Hop off," he tells his friend.

Liam does. Matt turns him, positions him beside the table, leaning over. He moves behind him and spread's his cheeks. Liam moans when Matt's mouth covers his asshole.

"Aw, fuck man, that's awesome but, dude, we didn't get cleaned up," Liam tells him.

"Shh, baby. I won't go deep, not with my tongue anyway but I need to taste you. Besides, we showered after the lake."

"Uh, yeah but we didn't use the..."

Matt playfully bites the side of Liam's ass. "I know, Liam. It's cool. Peace out, bro. If I don't like it, I'll stop." He doesn't wait for an answer.

And the truth is, all he tastes is Liam. He doesn't shove his tongue all the way inside Liam's hole but he pushes it past the sphincter, wetting him for his cock. His hand reaches around to stoke his lover.

Sometime later, he leads Liam over to the kitchen table and pulls out one of the chairs. He sits down, careful to keep his back straight. He has Liam straddle him. He steadies his cock as Liam lowers himself. They sit there, Matt's cock deep inside Liam, and kiss and hug, not really fucking, not yet.

Liam puts his hands behind Matt's neck and leans back. Matt pinches and tugs at Liam's hard little nipples.

Liam leans forward and sucks and nips at Matt's nipples. He moves up and down slowly, letting all his weight rest on Matt, impaling himself on dick. He loves it. He's young and fit. He makes Matt cum, mostly by tilting his pelvis back and forth. His up and down movements are minimal, though at times he pulls himself off Matt's cock. He needs to feel that cock slide back in, slow, filling him.

When Matt cums, Liam is kissing the side of his neck. When he settles down, he lifts Liam off his cock.

"Turn around," he urges. Liam demurs, "not tonight. Hang on." He runs hot water and uses paper towels and a bit of hand soap to clean off his lover's cock.

"Thank you," Matt tells him, as he pulls him back onto his lap. "You want to fuck me, brah? Want me to suck you off? Your cock is way too pretty, way too hard for me to leave it hanging." He wraps his hand around it. "Not that's it's actually hanging." He looks at Liam with wonder in his eyes. "Seriously, dude. I think I'm addicted to your dick."

"Am I too heavy to be on top of you?"

"Dude, fuck, probably, the mattress is so soft. We can try."

Liam shakes his head. "No, not worth the risk of hurting your back. I have an idea."

He climbs off Matt's lap and moves toward the living area, bring Matt along by one hand.

He pulls the cushions off the couch and lays them on the floor.

"Try that."

Matt lies down on top of the cushions. He moves his hips up and down, wiggles, smiles.

"Perfect, dude. Perfect. Not so much as a twinge."

"Okay, can you pull your legs up? Does that hurt?"

Matt tries. Nods. "It's fine. I can't put my knees on my chest like you do but this is okay? Will it work for you?"

Liam answers by burying his face behind Matt's balls and starting to rim his pucker.

"Jesus, bro. Fuck," Matt pants.

Liam pulls back, spits, rubs it over Matt's asshole. He straightens, spits into his palm, and rubs it over the head of his cock. He can feel Matt's load running down the inside of his legs. It excites him.

He moves forward, rests one hand on the back of Matt's leg, his other guides his cock towards Matt's hole. He presses, there's a little resistance, but not much, as he slides his cock home. He loves the sensation of Matt's ass closing around his cock, gripping it, pulling him in.

He leans over Matt, between his legs, looking for his mouth.

He makes love to him slowly, never taking his mouth away. Even when he cums, he pants into Matt's mouth, lost in the feel of Matt's arms squeezing him closer.

Later, lying side by side, they talk, random shit, bands they've seen, bands they hate, what's wrong with world, are any of the Alien movies worth seeing after the first one. Sometimes they stop for long periods to kiss. Their dicks get hard. They let 'em stay hard. For the moment, they're fucked out.

They don't talk about any of the heavy shit they've been dealing with. They talk about themselves.

They're not aware of the fact they've begun to intertwine their lives, their stories. They've been swapping parts of their bodies. Now, they're swapping parts of their souls. If they're lucky, very, very lucky, in a few years they'll no longer be entirely sure how much of a particular story is theirs, and how much is their lover's.

If they're lucky.