All Comments on 'Shop Assistants'

Sorry, I couldn't finish this.

Pretentious, overwritten and full of mistakes.

Keep it simple and check your spelling.

that was hot asians are so hot

Agree with earlier comments under Sorry. You need to work on your writing/grammar skills. Consider asking someone (an editor) to help you with your writing.

I understand this is your fantasy, but if you are going to post your fantasies for others to read you need to improve your writing.

Your story was quite interesting because of the women's different ethnic backgrounds. The other comments were right though, ~ you should consider using a spell checker on future entries.