All Comments on 'Shower Surprise'

I hate, Hate, HATE stories where the author tries to make the reader one of the characters in the story, by constantly referring to that character as "you".

Lines like the following:

1. "I slide one hand down under you, and use it to start rubbing your clit from side to side furiously" -and-

2. "I groan and grab a handful of your wet hair"

...are particularly jarring, seeing as how I'm a GUY, and I'm BALD, therefore having neither a clitoris nor hair!

You might consider - even if only as a writing exercise - rewriting the whole thing without this cheesy affectation. (globally replacing every "you" with "her" would accomplish most of it, maybe ALL of it!)

My two cents' worth,

-Rei

Why the "arab" story tag?

If either of the characters was an Arab, I didn't notice!

A real loving wife tale.